To think I don't belong on mumsnet

[Jollygoodsnow]

Is mumsnet thoroughly middle class? Often I feel out of my depth on here. People talking about what to do with their £50k inheritance or where to buy to get the most out of their £1.5mil. And here I am with DH living in the south in a rented home trying so hard to get a foot on the ladder because you'd be lucky to get anything worthwhile round here for less that £250k

Then there's the people asking do you like this dress/top/bag and I open the link and it's an item of £80 £200 or more etc etc. Who is spending that sort of money on themselves? And how? I want in on it!

Then there's those on a good salary. I earn minimum wage. Going all over the world on holiday, we go to Butlins

Posts about problems with the nanny, the cleaner bla bla

Life is not a conparison game but how do others seem to just land on their feet so well or people on here just lying through their teeth? I work hard for my money and so does DH , we've not much debt and money in the bank but I just have this nagging feeling others are galloping through life whilst I'm sort of trotting catching up behind?

Feel free to enlighten me with your stories of 'normalness'

Either than or perhaps I should pop over to netmums

[Bluntness100]

I also find this site has a varied membership, with people from bith sides of the financial spectrum. Maybe you’re just focusing on posts from more well off folks because you’re a bit fed up?

[EvilDoctorBallerinaDuckKeidis]

I'm poor enough to cry when DH eats all the Mars bars for DD's packed suppers, as they cost a lot!

[Jollygoodsnow]

The south east is vey expensive. What needs to change here is my mindset, but I'm not sure how I do that

[itshappening]

We are renting in London with no prospect of buying here on the horizon. I do think of myself as middle class due to my background I suppose, and because I don't link class with money to that big an extent. Yes, there are many on MN who seem well off, probably largely because they bought property before the crazy time when it started rising more per year than the owner's entire salary! I think many of us renting pay out far more per month for rent than many in nice homes pay for their mortgage.

I guess I am saying that class is not really about money, although you could say living the lifestyle is, and also that you do belong here. There are many in a similar position, but also the site needs a variety of perspectives.

[Desperad0]

I think it's wrong to assume people have 'good jobs with not a lot of legwork'

I probably fall into the £200 clothing/handbag category but I work ridiculous hours, the kids are in childcare all week, I log on when they nap on a weekend.

And yes, we have a cleaner, otherwise it would never get done

[CalmanOnSpeeddial]

I think there's a difference between "I've spent 25 grand on holidays this year" which is genuinely extreme, and "I want a dress for a party, budget is 200 quid" or "I'm having issues with my cleaner/nanny". There's a lot of shops out there selling 200 quid frocks. There's a lot of agencies supplying cleaners/nannies. There's a lot of women out there consuming these goods and services and a disproportionate number of them are on MN.

There's a lot of doctors and chartered accountants, senior HR people, and all sorts of managers on MN - plus the women who are married to people earning good money. And also age comes into it - a fifty something who bought a lovely house for fifty grand in the nineties will have far more disposable income than someone renting or starting to buy now.

So yes there's a lot of people on MN who might have a lot more money than the average person the OP runs into everyday. But there's a lot of skint people too, and a lot of discussions which have no relation to money whatsoever. Stick to them, and if you do need advice on S&B make your budget crystal clear in the first line (they're always very helpful but they're not psychic).

[KurriKurri]

I am low income, (won;t go into details but I am rtired for health reasons and live off a small pension - not old enough to qualify for state pension yet) My income covers bills and food, and that's basically it.

I would be considerably better off if I had stayed with my emotionally and occasionally physically abusive husband, I would probably be one of those holidays abroad, lots of gadgets and expensive clothes people.
But I'm a lot happier. I'd probably be even happier if I was on my own and had lots of money, but thems the breaks.

I quite enjoy offering my opinion on whether someone should sack their cleaner, or buy a £300 pound handbag, knowing it's a dilemma I will never have to deal with

But on the whole I cherry pick what threads I look at, I don't really care what other people have that I don't - we're all just people often the basic human problems are the same (relationships, kids, in laws) whatever your income.

I guess I sometimes feel resentful about my finances, but more so towards my X who is very well off, than about strangers on the internet who've done nothing to hurt me. But I try to move past it because resentment is a very destructive emotion - it never makes you feel good, and I don't want to waste time feeling miserable about stuff I can't change.

[Fernanie]

I use those "what do you think of this £80 bag?" threads as inspiration for my next eBay trawl and usually end up with something totally different that I love for about a fiver
That lifestyle doesn't appeal to me at all - I have some very MC friends IRL and they seem to be consumed with "curating" an instagram-worthy home, one-upping each other's hipster coffee finds, and stressing about the cleaner / au pair. Ain't nobody got time for that shit!

[PerfectlyPooPoo]

Exactly LurkingHusband. Or should I say LurkingWife

[Jollygoodsnow]

sunseptember that's twice you've just pick me up on something I have already clarified and apologised for my use of poor terminology and analogy?

I'm not looking for a debate, rather some constructive ways to help me feel I am fortunate and that life is not a race etc as I am struggling to do this on my own whilst feeling a bit cheesed off with life

[queenofthedump]

It obviously bothers you and maybe that's why you're noticing some posts more than others.
We don't have much money either but I couldn't care one jot if other people do. I'm happy with my lot.

[RyanStartedTheFire]

I’m not poor but not rich or middle class. I may have thought we were becoming middle class but apparently you can’t change classes.
I am doing well in life for my age but still feel vastly different from most MNers and quite out of place when people talk about £100’s of pounds being spent on coats and such, which probably backs up the non middle class thing.

[Pinkkahori]

I think having money doesn't protect against pain, grief, infertility, abuse etc. but equally poor people go through all that too and still have to worry about money.
And it's not always as easy as work hard and you will get what you want. Sometimes you can work hard all your life and things never seem to fall into place.

[guilty100]

Look around you, where you live. Look at the sectors of the city with homes that are worth more than £500k. There are loads of them, right? There are loads of wealthy people that live in those houses too. Most of them will swear blind that they are "not wealthy, not at all wealthy" - even the ones who are actually very wealthy will say that - but by national and certainly by global standards, they really are.

Society is very unequal and very divided.

[alltouchedout]

Nah, you're fine. There are a lot of mumsnetters who are significantly more wealthy than the general population (or at least a lot who wish to so present themselves), but I bet there are equally as many of us who are not.

I don't think you notice these threads and posts only due to resentment. You notice them because they are unusual in terms of the general population, and it is fairly uncommon to find a website like this where a fairly significant proportion of members are much richer than normal. There is sometimes a lack of awareness on the part of some members as to just how privileged they are, too. Look at the "omg £80k isn't rich!!!" thread(s) running in the spring, or the way some posters express genuine astonishment and incomprehension at the fact that for many families, every single penny is budgeted for and there is no such thing as 'only' £20. But then, for every one of those posters, you will find at least as many who do recognise their own privilege and many more who are not rich.

I like sites with diverse memberships.

[brownfang]

I have been told off on here for suggesting (instead of raising a huge stink about how the accidental damage happened) that someone look in a charity shop to replace a ruined coat for their child Hysterical: don't you realise £4 is a lot of money to some people!

[wasonthelist]

I certainly don't belong here.

Not a Mum.

Left of Corbyn, theoretical green brexit supporter.

[PorklessPie]

YABU....what's wrong with butlins? I'm there right now and having a great time!

[KitKat1985]

Hi Jolly.

If you fancy leaving a bit further east (more Eastbourne way) you can buy my shared ownership house if you like! But seriously, anywhere within 10 miles of Brighton is bloomin' expensive. I grew up nearer Brighton but couldn't afford to stay in the area. Would it be possible to look at moving out of the Brighton area and commute into your work etc?

[sunshinestorm]

I do know what you mean OP. Some of the 'problems' people post about just seem so detached from reality ect.
I'm definitely not 'middle-class' though and I'm sure plenty of other posters aren't either.

[Jollygoodsnow]

Kit Kat I live in Eastbourne! I Just made the Brighton analogy as usually that's the only place you can relate Eastbourne to, to anyone north of London lol

[Idontevencareanymore]

Facebook groups are the same op.
I think it's just because you get a lot of people from different walks of life.

Also you don't know the people buying £100 bags and what not aren't living a life of credit.

[Eolian]

Well, life isn't a race, and personally I'm far from convinced that working long hours in a high-powered job to earn loads of money is the answer to being happy in life.

[KitKat1985]

Haha! Then hello neighbour! I'm actually a bit north of Eastbourne (Hailsham) but I thought if you lived in Brighton you wouldn't know where that was. Lol!

[YouCantArgueWithStupid]

I know how you feel OP. After reading a post identifying that we're poor because we have a tin opener I've thrown it in the bin & I'm awaiting the £££ to start rolling in