To think I don't belong on mumsnet

[Jollygoodsnow]

Is mumsnet thoroughly middle class? Often I feel out of my depth on here. People talking about what to do with their £50k inheritance or where to buy to get the most out of their £1.5mil. And here I am with DH living in the south in a rented home trying so hard to get a foot on the ladder because you'd be lucky to get anything worthwhile round here for less that £250k

Then there's the people asking do you like this dress/top/bag and I open the link and it's an item of £80 £200 or more etc etc. Who is spending that sort of money on themselves? And how? I want in on it!

Then there's those on a good salary. I earn minimum wage. Going all over the world on holiday, we go to Butlins

Posts about problems with the nanny, the cleaner bla bla

Life is not a conparison game but how do others seem to just land on their feet so well or people on here just lying through their teeth? I work hard for my money and so does DH , we've not much debt and money in the bank but I just have this nagging feeling others are galloping through life whilst I'm sort of trotting catching up behind?

Feel free to enlighten me with your stories of 'normalness'

Either than or perhaps I should pop over to netmums

Redblackberries, I have chicken dippers in the freezer and I have 2 degrees, and DH is a civil engineer. The DDs love them!!

But seriously there are all sorts on here, if you hang around a little while you'll find that out.

I have never thought of mumsnet in those terms but then again I don't really look at the fashion or buying threads. I consider myself middle class by appearances but because of my upbringing working class at heart! We all struggle and have good and bad months financially, and regardless of class we can all suffer setbacks, depression, confusion and be afraid. I go on mumsnet for advice and to offer suppot and advice where I can so have never considered whether I belong or not!

The life being a race is an interesting one.

I'm always flummoxed by how many people define being "successful" or "doing well" as having a lot of money and material possessions even when it comes with working vastly more hours than you'd ideally want to, or being under vastly more stress, or your family making endless sacrifices in return for material wealth.

Sounds a bit shit to me.

A good work life balance and being content seems a far better ideal than lots of money and possessions and no time to smell the flowers or look at the stars or have dinner with your kids mid week...

There was a thread a few months back, where people were posting pictures of their bedrooms.

Ofc, the vast majority where practically stateroom like.

Of course once you get a few people posting bedrooms the size of my actual house, you are not going to get many people putting up pictures of their tiny terrace house bedroom.

However, there was at least one of them, which was found out (or at least strongly suspected) to be an actual picture of a hotel bedroom.

So some people do have that much money, and fair play to them, however, some people lie, for any number of reasons.

I think that artistic licence is employed a lot on any social media

I would recommend not going on Social Media at all if you feel disgruntled

I actually think that MN is a real eye-opener to all sorts of life experiences and opinions

Don't go to Netmums; nobody there can spell, there are no clever usernames and the colours and tickers will give you a monster headache.
This x ^
and loaads of "OMG Bless ya Hun XXX"

I'm not middle class; I don't even know how to make a jug of Pimms.

I think if you had posted this 10 years ago when I was first mumsnetting I would have agreed with you.

It was very middle class posh left wing graduate types. Very boring.

Now it's a lot more diverse from politics and religion to income levels and jobs.

Much more interesting now.

Netmums is dire

I'm not sure about the artistic licence points - there's bound to be a bit of exaggeration, of course, but a large number of Mumsnetters clearly are very wealthy - top 1%, not top 10%. The demographics of the site don't match those of the wider country. The assumptions on many threads are those of the upper middle classes - private education, expensive houses in nice postcodes etc. Of course, it's not uniform - a range of incomes are represented - but that doesn't mean the site isn't significantly skewed toward the wealthy.

The parenting issue which first brought me to MN seeking advice was the sort of thing which no-one talks about IRL, and for which money, 'class' or education status was completely and utterly irrelevant. Some topics are like that, some aren't.

One topic which comes up quite regularly which probably gives a slightly distorted picture of MN demographics is the 'Miss/Ms/Mrs' one ... in which a remarkable number of posters turn out to be Dr. , either medical or PhD.

I hate the obsession with class and wealth.

Dh and I are both educated (degrees, he has a PhD) but we both grew up in council houses and if we had to identify with a particular "class" I would always say we are "working".

Our favourite meal is egg and chips! I shop at Aldi and see no shame in that at all. We go on camping holidays.

For me, It's not about what you have, it is about who you have around you and how you fill your time.
I would get more pleasure from a couple of hours gardening or birdwatching, than I would ever get from going to a posh shopping mall or a holiday to an all inclusive resort (shudder).

Well, I'm solidly middle class by upbringing, but we aren't rich. We do own a house, but I have to shop at Aldi for food and sainsbury's for clothes. I don't know where all these rich people come from either!

I also don't think that (apart from obvious trolls, who deliberately starts very snobby-sounding threads) there are necessarily people lying about what they have or what they spend. Anymore that I disbelieve people who say they have £10 left until the end of the month.

As others have said, perhaps you notice those types of post more because money is a sore spot with you.

Me, I notice the posts like "DD has slept through since 6 weeks" because my DC hardly ever sleep through and the posts like "Just tell them no" or "Any 4 year old ought to be able to make their own bed" because my DC are defiant little wotsits and DC1 has SN so is well behind on some developmental stuff. Those are my sore spots...

I always go to Sainsburys or Asda for clothes, shouldaknownbetter. I hardly ever get to Debenhams or M&S. We do use Costco sometimes to shop in bulk. And we use Tesco club card points for weekends away.

So we're not rich either but we're fortunate enough to live in a detached house in a very nice estate.

I think there's a wide range of folk on MN and that's a good thing mostly. I got told off on a thread for saying £1.5K was quite a lot to spend on a handbag (nicely). Massive crime to suggest less expensive bag and a few other things too. There's always somebody richer than you and always somebody with a lot less. It's all comparative.

We're probably not as well of as most of mumsnet...we're also renting in the south east and trying hard to save for a flat (around 215k in my bit of the SE) but I've always felt completly at home on mumsnet.

I like it because IMO its full of over thinkers (like me!) who want peer reviewed evidence for their decision making (rather than MIL/the neighbour/random lady on the bus)

I also like it that if you are being a twat, they will tell you.

I think minipie is right, it's what you notice. I always feel like the only person who's DH doesn't earn loads of money and like a pariah for working FT and only having one child.

Actually I expect if I happened to not work and felt sensitive about that then I'd notice the opposite.

50k inheritance doesn't make you MC does it?

You know, having thought about this a bit more, I think that if you're noticing the wealth threads, you may, actually, be in quite a good place.

I notice the pain management threads because that's where I am at the moment.

You're also not noticing the budgeting threads.

It's OK to be in the place you are right now. It's good to not have too much to worry about. But it's even better if you realise that it's a good place. Calm waters in life are a blessing - all too soon you're back in choppy waters or an outright storm. So appreciate the plain sailing.

I take a lot of posts with a giant pinch of salt. MN is the perfect place to pretend a lot of things (big houses, huge salaries etc).
Sure there are some (and hey good luck to them), but I think most are pretty normal (whatever nirmal is).
You only have to read the posts with people struggling to pay for Childminders or having issues with Landlords etc to get the real balance of it.

Stick with CHAT, it's usually a good balanced (and often funny) list of threads.

Personally I think you are extremely fortunate to be born or living in the U.K.

Generally we have or strive to have

Equality
Freedom of speech
Democracy
Access to Education
Free press
Minimum wage
High life expectancy

Time to be grateful for what you have, you could have been born in North Korea

If you want change you have to make it happen, no one can do it for you

Another perspective is that the median after tax income of the top 20% of households is 62,000. That's millions of households and it's a lot of money (not capital R rich but certainly enough for a cleaner or the odd 300 quid handbag)..
www.thisismoney.co.uk/money/news/article-4110482/How-rich-Work-income-wealth-sits-UK.html

I'd reckon that a disproportionate number of the women on MN are in that group - so maybe 1/3 rather than 1/5