To think I don't belong on mumsnet

[Jollygoodsnow]

Is mumsnet thoroughly middle class? Often I feel out of my depth on here. People talking about what to do with their £50k inheritance or where to buy to get the most out of their £1.5mil. And here I am with DH living in the south in a rented home trying so hard to get a foot on the ladder because you'd be lucky to get anything worthwhile round here for less that £250k

Then there's the people asking do you like this dress/top/bag and I open the link and it's an item of £80 £200 or more etc etc. Who is spending that sort of money on themselves? And how? I want in on it!

Then there's those on a good salary. I earn minimum wage. Going all over the world on holiday, we go to Butlins

Posts about problems with the nanny, the cleaner bla bla

Life is not a conparison game but how do others seem to just land on their feet so well or people on here just lying through their teeth? I work hard for my money and so does DH , we've not much debt and money in the bank but I just have this nagging feeling others are galloping through life whilst I'm sort of trotting catching up behind?

Feel free to enlighten me with your stories of 'normalness'

Either than or perhaps I should pop over to netmums

[OhThisbloodyComputer]

@Jollygoodsnow

I think it depends on your accent.

Do you pronounce it potato? Or potato?

Do you say tomato? Or tomato?

Anyway, I' having a terrible time with my butler (he's utterly useless) and the nanny is having an affair with our gardener. And the jacuzzi's making noises again and my hopeless wife says she's too busy to fix it because she's too busy juggling her job in the city and managing our stables.

So I'm sorry, you're just going to have to pull your socks up.

[Viviennemary]

at OhthisBloodycomputer Hope you sort out your problems!

[Lulalu]

There's all sorts of people on MN - why wouldn't there be? Some people have money and lifestyles to match. It doesn't mean they don't have relationship problems, illnesses, depression or have suffered abusive pasts. They are not always happier because circumstances vary so much. Why worry about it?

[Tumbleweed101]

I understand that feeling of being left behind. In my early 40's. Single mum to four and a job barely over min wage. Feel like my options are dwinderling fast and not sure how to go about finding a well paying career at this stage of life. I don't have a degree so I can't do anything that sounds interesting or decently paid. Uni is awkward due to costs, childcare etc. Not sure how to go about it. All my friends either earn well, have their own business or have high earning husbands. Or it feels that way.

I also worry that once the children grow and leave I'll be alone with nobody as I don't seem to be able to find anyone single to start a new relationship with.

So, not sure about mumsnet not being a place for everyone as there seems to be a wide variety of people, but I do understand that sense of being left behind.

[PortiaCastis]

Cannot stand the posters who are snobs and look down on others, after all nobody's perfect and most folks have a skeleton or two in the cupboard. Wealth does not equal health happiness or being a decent person and nobody knows what's around the corner so we should all appreciate the basics and not be snobby or smug because they are ugly traits.

[stopfuckingshoutingatme]

I think you are only on a few certain threads OP!!!!

really that's not how I feel and have been here for far too long 9 years

[ShotsFired]

I think you are focusing on the SCALE of the issues you read about; rather than the issue themselves, which are generally pretty common across the board.

New parents will all fret about their PFBs whether they are in a handmedown thrice bobbly babygro or a new louis vuitton cashmere one.

Affording the mortgage or rent is still the same worry whether it's £200 or £2000.

Having an unwanted pregnancy scare still frightens the shit out of a woman whether she is peeing on the stick in Harrods or Asda.

[OhThisbloodyComputer]

Thanks @Viviennemary

You are so kind.

You might think this is odd, but I really envy you poor but honest folk. I find your lack of sophistication and your simple outlook so refreshing.

It's humbling for me to meet people who don't know Property from Proper Tea. it sort of reminds me of where I came from.

When my family first came to this country, back in 1066, they didn't have two francs to rub together. But they bloody well rolled up their sleeves and wrote a Doomsday Book, which became a best seller.

It got rave reviews in the Bayaux Tapestry (which was the booming new media of the day).

So I know where you are coming from.

We folks at the top of the hill don't have a monopoly on happiness, yer know!

[Sequence]

It isn't necessarily a class difference. Some of us are middle class and on a low income, some will be working class and well-off. Class and money aren't synonymous.

[MarklahMarklah]

Meh, I am not by any means wealthy. I do shop in Waitrose, but that's because it's my nearest supermarket and I don't buy all the fancy stuff. (Bananas work out @ 9p each, BTW).

I don't buy designer, my handbag was one I bought on offer (two for £15), and I don't take expensive holidays.

I like MN for the no holds barred/tell it like it is, uncensored forum.

[Hullygully]

In RL birds of a feather tend for the most part to flock together, so you don't have all different kinds of people with direct access to each other on an equal platform.

Good in many ways, but inevitably it does highlight the substantial differences between folks. And yes, some people are a lot more fortunate than the majority. And money makes life easier. No point pretending otherwise.

[Oblomov17]

I agree with the posters who say they don't believe what people write here.
Why not believe them? Why so cynical? yes, some people lie. But most don't. I don't lie on MN.

Most of the parents who I know are reasonably well off. Some less than us, many more than us. Many have 2 working parents, dad a Top Manger of BA airlines. When ds1 visits their house I feel like a pauper.

But I know that's silly. We are fine, in a house, no real money issues and I chose to work part time.

I wouldn't have wanted to go into law or be a barrister, work 16-18 hour days etc. That was my choice. You had yours OP. So don't grumble. You don't have grounds.

You are probably better off than lots of Mn'ers. Not so well off as the ones with £2 million properties in Kennington. But I wouldn't like to live there!!

[PoppyPopcorn]

I think it's called confirmation bias - you have in your head the idea that MN is full of rich people, or people in London, or Labour voters, or people who just talk about cake, and your brain notices those types of posts and threads far more than any others.

FWIW, I've been on both NM and MN and I think the main differences are age and education. In general, the average Mumsnetter is older (30s plus), better educated, working in a role which requires extra training or a degree. Your average Netmumser is younger, not as well educated, and working in roles like retail, catering. Of course there are exceptions but that's the general feeling I got.

Also agree that one other difference is that if you're talking shite, someone on MN will tell you. You won't get "Awww babes, chin up hun and big hugz" with zero constructive advice. And there's a lot of nonsense like "Your bubz ur rulez".

[PortiaCastis]

Nobody can begin to know thousands and thousands of people's info on either site.

[HelloHouse]

this probably isn't going to come out right, but if this is the kind of thing you're concerned over then maybe something isn't right at home?
When I met my now DH I was working 80 hours pw between 2 jobs to afford my house after a terrible relationship breakdown. Now I would consider us comfortable, but that isn't what makes life happy.
What others have is smoke and mirrors mostly. Focus on yourself.

[bluejelly]

I have been both. A skint single mum in a low paid job sleeping on a sofa bed every night so my dd can have the only bedroom.
Now in a relationship, career going well and I've inherited some money. I still kept the sofa bed though and I'll never forget where I was.
Mumsnet has been with me throughout everything.

[InsomniacAnonymous]

Oblomov17 "I agree with the posters who say they don't believe what people write here. Why not believe them? Why so cynical? yes, some people lie. But most don't. I don't lie on MN."

Maybe I'm not fully awake yet, but it seems to me that your first sentence is contradicted by the rest of your post.

[echt]

I think Oblomov had a bold-ing problem. Her post appears to be quoting an earlier poster, whose view she challenges.

[OhThisbloodyComputer]

You should never lie about your status or name drop.

The Queen told me that and I passed it on to Nelson Mandela

[alltouchedout]

I hope the more prolific and long lasting lying name droppers don't stop, as they provide the rest of us with a lot of amusement :)