to wonder why midwives are obsessed with making partners stand at the 'business end' during birth?

[sunshinestorm]

Just something I have been thinking about since commenting on another thread about embarrassing labour stories.

During my first DC's birth (forceps in theatre) anybody stood at head level could see nothing but the blue sheet draped over my knees. I requested my DH stay up by my head but halfway through pushing (when I was too busy to say anything) someone pretty much grabbed him and told him (not asked) to go to my feet and watch. I'd pooed, had an episiotomy ect so it wasn't a pretty sight at all and, to be honest, I don't think it would take much intelligence to know most women wouldn't want their husband's attention drawn to that sight, let alone without even asking her first.

Second DC, straightforward birth but again during pushing the midwife kept trying to get DH to go down and watch, and kept pressing the issue when he politely declined each time, almost seeming annoyed that he wanted to stay up by me and support me ect. It felt odd to listen to someone invite somebody else down to look at a part of my own body without asking me first. The experience was still amazing for him, he still cried his eyes out when he saw DS take his first breaths, just didn't witness any of the gross bits.

Now, I know some people want their partner to see the full HD, gore and details but I think for a lot of people it really doesn't heighten the experience AT ALL and it isn't for everyone. In fact, most threads I see with pregnant women, they all say they want their partner there as a support person, not an observer, and will be much more comfortable with them staying 'head-end'.

I know 'in the moment' most women don't give a damn what's going on, but I'm just curious why medical staff seem to want partners to witness EVERYTHING?

Get out of my garden- do you mind me asking what you do if you have been present at 50 births and are not a midwife?
I don't agree that just because your partner has 'seen you' they should be invited to witness your vagina on full display in a very undignified manner.
That would be comparable to saying a woman should allow her partner to look when she is on the toilet - after all he's seen it all before. Some couples may be comfortable with this some may not, but it's entirely up to the couple.
Also woman may not be able to say much either to say 'no I don't want him seeing that' I remember between contractions barely being able to speak. As well as the fact some women may be too drugged up to really understand or protest.
Not nice and I'm glad my own midwife did not invite my partner to look. We agreed before that he wouldn't go to that end, but the thought of someone treating my body like and object and some kind of spectacle to be gawped at. No. It's awful. Feel for you ladies who had that experience.

sunshinestorm midwives will tell you differently. Laying on your back with your legs up allows the pelvis to open up and makes space for the head to come down.
Most women in this country aren't used to squatting and the relevant muscles aren't strong enough to support them for long enough in this position.
Gravity doesn't really help much during the 2nd stage, though it can be helpful to be upright and move around in the first stage.

I can't imagine why anyone would want a ringside seat to see their partners insides turning inside out as some tiny wrinkled person clambered out
My DH found it completely amazing. He was in awe of the whole thing.
The only bits that he found hard were when I was throwing up in the early stages and he avoided looking whenever a needle appeared.