I don't get it.
Its a pain yes, but there are ways to cope and deal with it. Be imaginative and do things to make it 'normal' and part of bedtime, like wearing pjs, reading bed time stories etc. Kids feed off how you travel and how excited / stressed etc you are.
There is as much chance of your child being tired and falling asleep on the flight at night as there is being wide awake. A flight with a sleeping child is so much better than one which is wide awake. I'd much rather have a sleepy child, even if they are overtired.
We recently had flights that were due to arrive at 10pm local time. This was fine with me tbh. What wasn't so fine was there was a strike at the destination. We were delayed two hours, but we were lucky it wasn't later. Some flights that day to had 6 hour delays.
We were lucky because the check in at our hotel closed at 3am, and we arrived after 1am by the time we found alternative transport from the airport since the train which had originally planned to take, was no longer running. If we had been delayed much longer we would have been stranded with a 3 year old and no hotel until 7am.
THATS when you panic and get angry.
DS coped just fine, as we had a late up the next day, but still had a pretty full day, with an early night. It meant we effectively had an extra day than if we had gone with more sociable flights.
My point is, that later flights really not the end of the world, and even paying extra for flights at a 'reasonable' time is not necessarily going to be stress free or guaranteed to go to plan.
Kids fly far further and change time zones and cope. Its part of travelling.
I have to say, that in my experience, it doesn't matter what time you fly on holiday with young children, the first 24 hours after you arrive anywhere are always about finding your feet and orientating yourself to what to do, where to eat, resting after travelling).
I am most definitely of the opinion of 'Embrace it or don't fly anywhere' and holiday in the UK instead.
Personally, I'd much prefer an unsociable hours flight with a toddler than a 7 or 8 hour car journey.
Come up with solutions to minimise the stress of travelling rather than worrying about the times of flying. (Eg, don't take as bags, don't make a big deal of going on holiday, make sure you know how you are getting to your hotel, pick a hotel for the night before / first night which makes it less painless, adjust your bedtimes slightly for the week before, make less plans for the first day to allow you to chill).
The more you worry about the flight, the more you'll work yourself up into a frenzy about it, which your child will pick up on.
Enjoy your holiday and have a fab time. Oh and my top tip, is to make sure its your DH who is in charge of the toddler regardless of when you fly. 