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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be pissed off with the flight time DH chose?

356 replies

Writerwannabe83 · 21/09/2017 13:42

A few months ago I went on holiday with DH and DS who had just turned 3 years old.

My husband is the sort of person who will look to save money in any way he can and as a result he booked really stupid flight times (in relation to having a 3 year old) because they were cheaper.

Our flight out was at 9pm and due to flight length and transfers we didn't get to our hotel at what would have been almost 3am in U.K. time. Our DS hadn't been able to sleep at all on the flight or transfer which meant by the time he got to bed at the hotel he'd been awake for over 21 hours. He was obviously absolutely exhausted (as was I) and it was a complete nightmare and the first day of the holiday was a complete write off as DS practically slept all day.

Anyway - me and DH agreed that as it had been so difficult and unfair to DS we would always book practical flight times in future whilst DS was young, even if it does cost a bit more.

However, yesterday DH told me he'd booked us a holiday as a surprise and that he'd gotten it really cheap. I knew what that meant and so I asked about flight times and the flight out means we'd have to get DS out of bed at 2.30am and then drag him around an airport for hours and then deal with him on flights and transfers where he probably won't be able to sleep again. This will mean that by the time we get to the hotel DS will only have had 7 hours sleep in the space of about 27 hours, involving a 2.30am wake-up.

DH thought his idea was great because it meant we'd get the whole first day of the holiday, which I pointed out would just be spent with us all, especially DS, catching up on sleep.

Of course it was lovely DH had booked this holiday but he knows I'm annoyed with the flight times especially since he'd previously agreed we always fly hours that weren't disruptive.

When I asked him why he'd got such silly flight times again and why couldn't he have just got a later one for DS's sake, he said it's because the flights he'd booked had saved him about £75. I personally don't think the hassle of a stupidly early flight is worth saving £75 for especially when it's going to have such a horrible effect on DS. Even taking DS out the picture it means I'll only get about 4 hours sleep in the space of 27 and that's just not enough for me.

DH reckons that as he's the one driving to the airport the stupidly early rise and how little sleep we're all going to get shouldn't be an issue as the early flight only really affects him.... Hmm

AIBU to be annoyed?

I'm trying not to show my annoyance and since our initial conversation about the holiday I haven't mentioned the flights because I don't want DH to think I'm not grateful, but inside I feel pissed off.

OP posts:
KERALA1 · 25/09/2017 10:43

In our house all family holiday flights are booked together with both sitting at computer. Did this yesterday. Would recommend. Sanity check, we both agree times/luggage allowance needs and not all on one if cocked up. Works for us anyway.

"Surprises" are fun for couples but not for family holidays. Joint enterprise.

JWrecks · 25/09/2017 10:54

Hooray! Good on you OP! At least he saw reason, albeit too late, and at least he had the decency to look sheepish. £75 in exchange for an entire day wasted being spent utterly miserable and exhausted, kids grumpy and over tired but too excited to sleep... that's no "savings" at all. Don't let him give up, either. It's far enough in advance he can surely get things fixed.

I asked him if he thought I'd ever have agreed to those times if he'd spoken to me first, and he said "probably not"...
I think he meant to say "absolutely not, which is why I booked in secret and pulled the 'surprise' card" lol! Ya nob!

"Surprises" are fun for couples but not for family holidays. Joint enterprise.
EXACTLY! And especially not when the family includes a 4yo and a 10mo. No chance!

Leeds2 · 25/09/2017 10:58

Alls well so far, but do make sure he does actually change the flight times. I can easily see it being something he never quite gets round to doing.

Writerwannabe83 · 25/09/2017 11:12

Alls well so far, but do make sure he does actually change the flight times. I can easily see it being something he never quite gets round to doing.

Then he'll be going on holiday on his own then Grin

OP posts:
Writerwannabe83 · 25/09/2017 11:22

I asked him if he thought I'd ever have agreed to those times if he'd spoken to me first, and he said "probably not"...
I think he meant to say "absolutely not, which is why I booked in secret and pulled the 'surprise' card" lol!

I think this just about sums it up Grin

OP posts:
TellMeIAmBonkers · 25/09/2017 13:30

You're laughing but I actually think that's really twattish and manipulative of him.

If my DH pulled a unilateral stunt like this, there'd be hell to pay.

Make sure he sticks to his promise to change the flights. I think enforcing consequences every time he does something like this is the only way he'll get the message that it's not on and he can't have it all his own way all the time.

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