To be pissed off with the flight time DH chose?

[Writerwannabe83]

A few months ago I went on holiday with DH and DS who had just turned 3 years old.

My husband is the sort of person who will look to save money in any way he can and as a result he booked really stupid flight times (in relation to having a 3 year old) because they were cheaper.

Our flight out was at 9pm and due to flight length and transfers we didn't get to our hotel at what would have been almost 3am in U.K. time. Our DS hadn't been able to sleep at all on the flight or transfer which meant by the time he got to bed at the hotel he'd been awake for over 21 hours. He was obviously absolutely exhausted (as was I) and it was a complete nightmare and the first day of the holiday was a complete write off as DS practically slept all day.

Anyway - me and DH agreed that as it had been so difficult and unfair to DS we would always book practical flight times in future whilst DS was young, even if it does cost a bit more.

However, yesterday DH told me he'd booked us a holiday as a surprise and that he'd gotten it really cheap. I knew what that meant and so I asked about flight times and the flight out means we'd have to get DS out of bed at 2.30am and then drag him around an airport for hours and then deal with him on flights and transfers where he probably won't be able to sleep again. This will mean that by the time we get to the hotel DS will only have had 7 hours sleep in the space of about 27 hours, involving a 2.30am wake-up.

DH thought his idea was great because it meant we'd get the whole first day of the holiday, which I pointed out would just be spent with us all, especially DS, catching up on sleep.

Of course it was lovely DH had booked this holiday but he knows I'm annoyed with the flight times especially since he'd previously agreed we always fly hours that weren't disruptive.

When I asked him why he'd got such silly flight times again and why couldn't he have just got a later one for DS's sake, he said it's because the flights he'd booked had saved him about £75. I personally don't think the hassle of a stupidly early flight is worth saving £75 for especially when it's going to have such a horrible effect on DS. Even taking DS out the picture it means I'll only get about 4 hours sleep in the space of 27 and that's just not enough for me.

DH reckons that as he's the one driving to the airport the stupidly early rise and how little sleep we're all going to get shouldn't be an issue as the early flight only really affects him....

AIBU to be annoyed?

I'm trying not to show my annoyance and since our initial conversation about the holiday I haven't mentioned the flights because I don't want DH to think I'm not grateful, but inside I feel pissed off.

Isn't getting up at 2.30 part of the fun of holidays?

How do you know how your DS will react? That's the thing with 3yo, they tend to exactly the opposite than what you expect. Your first trip was the perfect example. If your flight was at 9pm, then this would have seem to be the perfect time as you would have expected him to sleep all the way through the flight (and you to have some sleep too). Yet clearly it didn't happen.

For all you know, this time DS will sleep through the whole flight and arrive fresh as new!

Meh, I do things like this. Kids have learnt to adapt. You may find he sleeps fine this time - at the airport if you put him from bed to carseat to pushchair (leave him in pajamas), and again on the plane.

I'm guessing it's a package? I just booked one with similarly stupid flight times, but dd is older so it doesn't matter and tbh, gives us loads more time there as we arrive at 8 in the morning, but when we leave we don't leave till evening. Pretty sure you can change the times if it is, (have considered it myself tbh)

Getting up at 2:30 is not my idea of fun! I'm completely horrible without sleep though so not a fun holiday for me....

Yes definitely ask him to change them

And YY to kids doing the unexpected re sleeping/not sleeping whatever you do. They like to be unpredictable.

I'd get online and find who he booked with, and change the flights if you can. We learned the hard way booking early flights thinking you'd get a whole day somewhere, when the reality is that getting up at 3am puts a dampener on the whole day before you've even left home. By 6pm everyone is stroppy and miserable, so you achieve nothing. Likewise, on your last day you just want to get up, pack and get to the airport.

I think personally I'd just be happy that I get to have a holiday. I wouldn't care when the flights were, I'd just be grateful that I get to have the luxury in the first place

Been there too, and said no chance we are doing that again. It is worth the £75 to have a decent nights sleep imho, if you can afford that. I have done this type of trip on my own, but got a hotel room for the 8 hr lay over and it was great, had a sleep & shower and felt relaxed for the next flight.

Personally for me this would really piss me off.. Despite PP saying it's not an issue, just sleep in the car, on the plane etc that wouldn't happen for me. I can't just sleep anywhere. I've flown back on a night flight from the states and stayed awake for the whole 9 hours throughout the night. I just don't sleep well unless at home in my own bed. To me a "holiday" wouldn't consist of getting up at 2.30am to get a flight. I might have done it when I was younger and didn't have much spare cash and if there were no other options, but not now. And for the sake of £75.00 I would be extremely pissed off and wouldn't look forward to it as I would just be focussing on the early start rather than the destination when we got there. But that's just me...

YANBU, I feel your pain.

When DS was about 1yr old, DH had booked a flight from Luton-Greece as it was £100 cheaper than flying from our local airport, Manchester

It involved waking at ridiculous o'clock in the morning, a bloody nightmare drive to Luton. On top of this, he'd booked the cheapest airport parking which was, yup, MILES away. Cue waiting for a sodding bus in the pouring rain after parking the car, no shelter an inconsolable DS, pushchair and all the changing bag gubbins, two suitcases and me with a face like thunder. Just getting to the airport took around 7 fucking hours.

AND on the way back the flight was diverted to Birmingham so add waiting for a coach journey to Luton then all the reverse stuff.

It's never happened since

I would be tempted to say to him that he's got to take the majority of the responsibility of DS on the journey, you'll do the other stuff, or you are not going.

One thing I do when booking a holiday with the kids, is check flight times. I always go for early morning flight about 6/7am and kids sleep and we get there for lunch time then go for flight back between 10am-2pm so we aren't hanging around all day.

If they are out with those hours I completely rule it out. So yanbu to be pissed off if you know about it HOWEVER if someone booked a complete surprise holiday I wasn't expecting. I'd take it and the flight times graciously.

Surely your wee boy will sleep the whole flight if he's comfy enough. Pack a little blanket and one of those kneck supports for you in hand luggage and he can lie his head in your lap. Why do you need to be at the airport hours and hours before the flight??

Can you pop him in the car last minute in his PJs, and take a blanket for the flight?

I actually prefer this time as we just push them round the airport in the pushchair instead of them running round and they just sleep on the flight

Don't you have a small baby as well? YANBU

Don't think I'd be bothered about that! It's one night, id try staying up later the night before to get to bed a bit earlier or just go do as normal. Children are likely to sleep on the plane?

Change to another flight?

DS will be 4 by the time the holiday comes around so won't be in a pushchair. At least I know our 10 month old will be able to sleep in his pushchair and will probably sleep for the duration of the flight.

I don't even know where we are going - that's part of the surprise apparently. All I know are the time we have to be at the airport, the flight times and what time we will be arriving at the hotel. I only got that information out of him because I was asking about it, otherwise I doubt I'd know anything about it until the day before.

If it's £75 more overall, your DH is a twit.

If it's £75 per person, as in £225 for the three of you, then I suspect we would have booked similarly for a holiday ... just the reality of our finances. And just tried to work with it the best we could.

Mine are 15, 12 and 9 and I STILL don't think it's worth £75 to get them up at 2am. I always try for sensible flight times when travelling with the DC. If I'm without them I don't care but my eldest is ASD/ADHD (and a teenager) and my middle one has flight anxiety so a sensible morning/afternoon flight is the preferred option - even if I have to save a bit extra for it.

I hated travelling anywhere when they were really little!

Tbh if my two year old spent a good day sleeping on holiday, I'd consider it a wee bonus

Let him go with DS and book yourself a flight at the time you'd like the next day! Seems crazy to dismiss your conversation for £75, he should have checked with you first at least.

YANBU as you have previously spoke about this and you made your concerns known. Plus its already been a huge pain in the arse before, and 75 quid really isn't that much when paying for foreign holidays...IMO anyway.

Having said that, next Tuesday we go on holiday..and I picked ridiculous flight times We saved 200 overall mind, which is a large difference. But we fly out at 6am, meaning we will have to get DC up at about 2ish. Hoping they will sleep early though and if we get them off by about 7 (preferably earlier...) then they will have had 7 hours sleep..which is not really enough for young kids, but enough to stop the whole thing being unbearable. They may be a bit grumpy on the first day though, which we are anticipating.

Also we have done this before and said never again. But I guess...the cash saved seemed to make it worth doing again.

I can't believe he thought that was a good idea! 2am? I mean its not worth going to bed for an adult IMO, we are normally still packing for a holiday the night before at 11pm!

The earliest we got our kids up for a flight was 5am. They are 4 and 2. And it was fine but they were both feral with tiredness by the time we arrived at our destination (and both had a nap in the hire car on the way to the hotel).

We always pay more for flights for this reason - ideally leaving at about 10 or 11am!

F**k it, I'm just going to ask him to change them and tell him it was a stupid idea.