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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be pissed off with the flight time DH chose?

356 replies

Writerwannabe83 · 21/09/2017 13:42

A few months ago I went on holiday with DH and DS who had just turned 3 years old.

My husband is the sort of person who will look to save money in any way he can and as a result he booked really stupid flight times (in relation to having a 3 year old) because they were cheaper.

Our flight out was at 9pm and due to flight length and transfers we didn't get to our hotel at what would have been almost 3am in U.K. time. Our DS hadn't been able to sleep at all on the flight or transfer which meant by the time he got to bed at the hotel he'd been awake for over 21 hours. He was obviously absolutely exhausted (as was I) and it was a complete nightmare and the first day of the holiday was a complete write off as DS practically slept all day.

Anyway - me and DH agreed that as it had been so difficult and unfair to DS we would always book practical flight times in future whilst DS was young, even if it does cost a bit more.

However, yesterday DH told me he'd booked us a holiday as a surprise and that he'd gotten it really cheap. I knew what that meant and so I asked about flight times and the flight out means we'd have to get DS out of bed at 2.30am and then drag him around an airport for hours and then deal with him on flights and transfers where he probably won't be able to sleep again. This will mean that by the time we get to the hotel DS will only have had 7 hours sleep in the space of about 27 hours, involving a 2.30am wake-up.

DH thought his idea was great because it meant we'd get the whole first day of the holiday, which I pointed out would just be spent with us all, especially DS, catching up on sleep.

Of course it was lovely DH had booked this holiday but he knows I'm annoyed with the flight times especially since he'd previously agreed we always fly hours that weren't disruptive.

When I asked him why he'd got such silly flight times again and why couldn't he have just got a later one for DS's sake, he said it's because the flights he'd booked had saved him about £75. I personally don't think the hassle of a stupidly early flight is worth saving £75 for especially when it's going to have such a horrible effect on DS. Even taking DS out the picture it means I'll only get about 4 hours sleep in the space of 27 and that's just not enough for me.

DH reckons that as he's the one driving to the airport the stupidly early rise and how little sleep we're all going to get shouldn't be an issue as the early flight only really affects him.... Hmm

AIBU to be annoyed?

I'm trying not to show my annoyance and since our initial conversation about the holiday I haven't mentioned the flights because I don't want DH to think I'm not grateful, but inside I feel pissed off.

OP posts:
lozzylizzy · 22/09/2017 18:55

You will probably find the 4 yo will be ok and the 10m old will kick off mid air!

Whinesalot · 22/09/2017 19:05

2 hours for a 7am flight is arriving at 4.30 to allow car parking, which means leaving at 3 45. If you pack the car the night before, dress the kids at the airport, you only need to get up at 3.30.

Slightly better.

Writerwannabe83 · 22/09/2017 19:52

Thanks everyone for your thoughts.

DH's jusmridicarion for getting up early is,

Up at 2.30am to be out he house for 2.45am. Arrive at the airport car park for 3.30am and then wait for the shuttle bus to get is to the airport for 4am. Apparently we have to be at the airprt two hours before the flight leaves which is 4.30am. He said he wants to allow a bit of extra time in case there's any delay/problem with the shuttle bus and also so we can grab something to eat before boarding for 6.35am take off.

I said to him earlier that although he plans to get the children out of bed at 2.30am, realistically it means we will have to get up even earlier to sort ourselves out before getting the children up. He didn't really have a response to that. Ok, we could bundle a 4 year old into the car but I can't see getting a 10 month old sorted would be quite so simple and I can guarantee that will be my job.

Getting up at 2am after probably only having 3 hours sleep and then traipsing around an airport with two knackered children and then dealing with them on the flight and transfer and then sitting around at the hotel before check in is absolutely not my idea of fun or a good start to the holiday. We are all going to need sleep so will go to bed when we get into our room, so the first day will be wasted anyway so what's the point in it?

OP posts:
Brittbugs80 · 22/09/2017 19:56

The shuttle bus runs every 15 mins and takes about 10mins. Did you suggest a taxi?

TellMeIAmBonkers · 22/09/2017 20:00

There is no point. Reading about your DH brings to mind that saying: he knows the price of everything but the value of nothing.

Sure, he saved £75 measly quid. But I would happily pay that to not have to get up at 2.30am myself. Nevermind waking a three year old and a baby at that time and dealing with the fall out.

I hope you're going somewhere good that actually has somewhere to look around in while you wait five hours for your hotel room to be ready!

MrsKoala · 22/09/2017 20:04

When we went on holiday in June we took over 2 hours to get thru all the checks and grab a sandwich to eat on the plane. We ran to the plane and were the last on and they were really pissed off with us. It took ages, so i would defo leave more than 2 hours for the airport if you are travelling with kids and want to get food. Which is why a 6.30 flight is beyond shit.

NameChangeFamousFolk · 22/09/2017 20:09

I think at this point OP, it can only be a good thing to try to make the best of it. Kids change. You might be pleasantly surprised by how a slightly older - as in a few months - child can drop off in the car, or just handle things better than you expect.

If you and your DH can be calm and positive during the whole experience, then that will surely help.

We've had all kind of trips and flight times. DC have been through stages of being tricky, and being fine. I really would try to stop running the whole thing through in your mind and getting too wound up about the timing and try to remember that it might just all be much better than you expect!

If you remain in the mindset of 'this is going to ruin the holiday', then it probably will do!

Blodplod · 22/09/2017 20:12

Sounds incredibly miserable to me.. I'm sure loads of people are now going to jump on the wagon saying how lovely he is to book a holiday, how ungrateful I must be, blah blah blah.. but the simple fact that you're going to a destination with multiple options travel wise in this day and age no-one needs to get stoopid o clock flight times unless they're going to Outer Mongolia on the one flight that goes there a year.. it's just pointless, a waste of time, miserable, stressful and all for the princely sum of £75. I don't get it one bit.

RandomMess · 22/09/2017 20:14

Saving £75 is just not worth it when that's the compromise...

Have you decided what you are going to do op?

speakout · 22/09/2017 20:18

blod- I don't get it either.

Even without kids it would be miserable.

Last trip to Greece was an 11 am flight out, 12 noon flight back.

The whole journey was enjoyable, we were alert, able to enjoy the flight, watch planes, take out time to browse in the airport shops. We arrived rested, , just in time to shower, change and have a drink before dinner.

Blodplod · 22/09/2017 20:18

In fact if it were me I would simply refuse to go.. that said I'm feeling feisty tonight (just had a row with husband regards locking doors which was triggered by another thread.. he left garage door open YET AGAIN with stuff worth thousands in it..) but really, life is just too short for the aggro of that airport experience..

NameChangeFamousFolk · 22/09/2017 20:26

life is just too short for the aggro of that airport experience

I'm the total opposite! I think life's too short to worry about things like this, and it's far better to try and enjoy stuff and find the positives. And it's not that I haven't been there with young kids...I'm still in the thick of it!

That's not to say I don't get where the OP is coming from, I would just have a different take on it.

MrsKoala · 22/09/2017 20:26

I just wouldn't engage in any discussion. I would state i wasn't going then 'That doesn't work for us/me' said over and over again.

Blodplod · 22/09/2017 20:29

I guess I've just been in too many airports and travelled too much to see the fun side of it to be honest.. I travelled once or twice a week for years.. getting on a plane was like catching a train in the end.. I'm probably just weary of the whole airport excitement and projecting..

Realjournal123 · 22/09/2017 20:32

Ok I'd be a little pe'd off but not to the extent you are. Just relax and go with the flow. It's a holiday fgs. Sorry but you sound like a bit of a winger and your husband sounds like a decent guy and what's wrong with wanting to save a bit of money. That saving can buy you a lovely dinner on holiday. Relax and just enjoy it.

Leeds2 · 22/09/2017 20:38

Let him go on the flight he has booked, with the children, and you take the later flight.
Personally, I was always fairly chilled about these sorts of things but if it matters to you, it matters, and your view is just as worthy as his.

speakout · 22/09/2017 20:39

It's a holiday fgs.

Yes, and to me a holiday should be enjoyed- even the journey.

I only get up at 2am if there is an emergency, if someone is ill, or been sick.
No way would I want to start a holiday in the middle of the night, arriving frazzled, knackered , disorientated ,with a grouchy child whose sleep patterns have been shot to fuck for the next 3 days,

Relax and just enjoy it. that's exactly what I want to do on holiday.

Nanny0gg · 22/09/2017 20:41

he will just get stroppy and say something like "Fine, we just won't go then!!

Result!!

Writerwannabe83 · 22/09/2017 20:41

realjournal - he's a really decent guy, he's great, he's just an idiot in situations like this.

The reason he booked the holiday as a surprise is because he knew I wouldn't agree to the flight time - therefore he knows the flight time is ridiculous. But now he's gone and got his way, despite previously agreeing together we'd not fly at silly hours and I'm supposed to be grateful to him for it.

OP posts:
sonjadog · 22/09/2017 20:48

Had he started reconsidering the 75 pounds yet?

Blodplod · 22/09/2017 20:49

I'm loving the fact you're a winger OP! Oh the irony.. if you're going to insult someone Realjornal123 at least spell it correctly...

Dumdedumdum · 22/09/2017 20:49

I'm surprised the flight time is the focus here not the surprise holiday to an unknown destination.

IncidentalAnarchist · 22/09/2017 21:02

OP: AIBU?
MN: Yes...
OP: waaah you're wrong, I'm determined to be right and won't listen to anyone and want to be a victim
Waaah

Writerwannabe83 · 22/09/2017 21:15

dumdedum - I'm not worried about the holiday, we both like the same kinds of things and he'd never book somewhere that wouldn't suit DS. I'm really looking forward to going away, just not the flights and the knock on effects.

OP posts:
MrsKoala · 22/09/2017 21:17

Actually Anarchist loads of people have said it's shit and they'd be pissed off. I fail to see how not wanting to be manipulated into dragging miserable exhausted kids about an airport/plane/hotel and having a shit couple of days due to tiredness, for no real reason other than to save a measly £75 is being a whinger or a victim. But yes, come on OP paint on a smile and just be grateful. Confused

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