Saw a dad hit their child on the school run. Do I report it?

[Moanyoldcow]

Please tell me if I'm over reacting. I'm extremely anti-corporal punishment, was not hit as a child and do not hit my son.

On the school run this morning there was a father and son who I see most mornings. They were a little late today and the boy was really agitated about it asking his dad to hurry. His dad was annoyed and kept saying they were very close (which is true) and to stop worrying.

The boy was obviously upset and pushed his dad. His dad responded by hitting him twice on the back of his head. It happened about 8ft in front of me.

I said (loudly but didn't shout) 'don't hit your child' twice. He turned to me and put his finger up to me like he was about to shout and I said again 'don't hit your child'. He was very angry but just said 'FINE' and we all finished the walk to school arriving about 1 min after the bell.

I know that parents can hit their children within limits so what he did wasn't illegal. I suppose I worry that if he'll do that in public, what does he do in private?

I would recognise him and the child so I could make a report - I just don't want to blow one incident out of proportion but if it's more I'd hate to ignore it.

What should I do?

I smacked my dds leg in public once and a member of the public told me off. I invited her to report me. It's 1 of 3 times, that I have smacked her. It isn't always an indication of a 'bigger picture'

Good for you for sticking up for that child. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Children can't stick up for themselves against adults so it is absolutely our business to do it.
I'm ashamed of all the people on here saying it's none of your business, what cold callous people they must be to turn a blind eye to a child being hurt. :(

The sooner all hitting of children is made illegal the better.

I think OP was brave to challenge him on his behaviour, there's just as much hypothetical chance that he would reflect on the fact that he'd gone too far and beyond what normal parents consider acceptable. I would not have managed such courage.... maybe a stink-eye hard stare.

We live in a society where people should be accountable for their behaviour, whether it's dropping litter or kicking a dog.... for many reasons we often feel we can't challenge things. Reporting it will reinforce a case if there have already been problems in this family.

I, for one, am glad you spoke up Thank You 😿

Agree with reporting to school safeguarding lead. They will speak to the child about it. Saying something to the father in the child's hearing might just be the little nudge that they need to open up to someone else about what is happening. You've done something really important already by showing the child that what is happening to him is not normal or acceptable.

I actually can’t believe some of the replies here. Guess you all feel like the big guy when you’re smacking your defenceless children! I’ve no idea why it’s okay to smack a very small person with no chance of fighting back, but not a fully grown adult?!

OP, report to the school. Unfortunately it’s not illegal YET, so that’s probably as far as it can do. I would’ve said something too, so good on you.

big ((((((((((((hugs)))))))))) OP 🍂🌸🌼🌻❤️️🌷🌼🌻❤️️🌸🍃

I'd report to school.

Well done OP for saying something, I wish more people had stood up for me when my parents smacked / leathered me in public as a child.

I find it baffling that people think you're out of order for saying, or that smacking a child somewhere other than the head doesn't count

Well, i think it is difficult with boys particularly where they have pushed their dad first. A one-off smack in response to a boy who doesn't know boundaries does not deserve a prison sentence. i was very occasionally smacked as a child and I'm emotionally stable and high achieving. I think your way is legitimate, but I don't think that means that everyone else deserves to be in care.

If you spot sustained physical abuse then report it (or one off extremes) but feeding a child a burger/smacking them on the head/not taking them to sport/not reading to them at night is not actually abuse.

I would speak to the school too, they will know the bigger picture. It does make me sad that so many people think this is an acceptable thing that you should mind your own business about. If it was two adults behaving like that it wouldn't be acceptable and it certainly wouldn't be a reasonable reaction if an adult pushed another and the response was for the other to smack them twice about the head for it.

Well done OP. I would tell the school.

You were silly to tell the dad off. Not because he didn't deserve it but now he will know it is you who has reported him. I personally would be really worried about that and what drama it might bring to my door. Also angering him further is not the right thing to do for the child either.

I know you meant well, you probably just reacted without thinking but the best things to have done would have been to keep quiet then report.

I do not condone hitting children. How hard did he hit him? Was it with force? The boy pushed his dad so I would wonder about the level of aggression going on in the house and I most certainly would report.

It's absolute bollocks that children are growing up out of control because they're not being hit by adults.

Anyway, my take on this is that you contact the DSL at the school tell them what you saw and let them make the judgment. It could form part of a larger picture of concern about that particular child. At least they can keep a note of this in case there are concerns in the future.

The man was very angry and he hit is child on the head.

It may have been just a cuff round the ear. It may have been a response to other things that had happened at home. Whatever the case, you are not the one who has to decide if this is serious or not, luckily. It is definitely worth talking to school about because they are in a position to do that.

big ((((((((((((hugs)))))))))) OP 🍂🌸🌼🌻❤️️🌷🌼🌻❤️️🌸🍃

What is this shit? Is it sarcastic?

If not, NetMums is that away -->

I think it was great that you said something at the time as well, OP. Lets the lad know that people are looking out for him and lets the dad know it isn't acceptable!

Husky has it not occurred to you that the reason why that boy thought it was ok to push his dad is that physical aggression is normal in his family?

I am pragmatic about parenting and it would take very specific circumstances for me to report a family but its pretty bloody obvious that hitting children does not improve behaviour nor discourage aggression.

A few questions there - it's moved a lot quicker than I expected.

1. It was a hard, open handed hit to the area of the head between the back of the head and neck. It was NOT a punch but it was not a gentle cuff over the top of the head.

1. I would have said to anyone I saw hitting anyone else (age disparity and relationship being irrelevant) to stop. In my opinion hitting another person is wrong. I have reported domestic violence among old neighbours in the past - I don't think anyone should be hurt by another person.

1. A particular response to @Huskylover1. 'Little Jonny' learned to push from somewhere. My son doesn't hit or punch or push anyone even when he is very upset and I have never hit him. He uses language to describe how he feels as do I. And My mum did the same. And I don't hit people. And I'm nearly 40. So I don't care if you call me a namby pamby - I'm happy with my parenting choices.

The general opinion seems to me I should make a report to the school safeguarding lead which is what I will do.

I don't care if the man knows it was me who reported him to be honest. I'm not looking for trouble, but if he's the sort who is going to try to get his revenge then it's a good thing he was reported as he's a nasty bully and if he's not, then maybe he'll think twice before hitting his child again.

Sonichedgehog - you beat me to it!

Pengggwn yes, they make the decision about whether it needs to be referred or not.

The fact remains that school is the first port of call and beyond that the OP can't do much. I was trying to suggest she didn't make those decisions herself.

I'm absolutely staggered reading some of the comments on here. Truly. People genuinely think someone physically assaulting their child is 'none of their business' and that it is ok? WTAF.

If you saw a man hitting a woman in the street would you not be allowed to say anything because that woman belongs to him and he can chastise her? No of course not. Do children not have human rights. What is wrong with people??

OP report this. And you were absolutely right to say something to the man. Physical chastisement should have ended decades ago. People turning a blind eye and considering Children property should also have ended. Some people on here astound me. The fifties are calling, they want your dumbassery back!

Good for you OP. There is no excuse for hitting and I'm glad the parent saw that others think it's wrong. Do report it.

For the 'but the boy pushed him' posters, parents should be able to discipline their kids without resorting to hitting them. I would have made it very clear to my DS he had crossed a line and there would be major repercussions (but not physical punishment) at home later.