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Original poster

Saw a dad hit their child on the school run. Do I report it?

323 replies

Moanyoldcow · 21/09/2017 09:06

Please tell me if I'm over reacting. I'm extremely anti-corporal punishment, was not hit as a child and do not hit my son.

On the school run this morning there was a father and son who I see most mornings. They were a little late today and the boy was really agitated about it asking his dad to hurry. His dad was annoyed and kept saying they were very close (which is true) and to stop worrying.

The boy was obviously upset and pushed his dad. His dad responded by hitting him twice on the back of his head. It happened about 8ft in front of me.

I said (loudly but didn't shout) 'don't hit your child' twice. He turned to me and put his finger up to me like he was about to shout and I said again 'don't hit your child'. He was very angry but just said 'FINE' and we all finished the walk to school arriving about 1 min after the bell.

I know that parents can hit their children within limits so what he did wasn't illegal. I suppose I worry that if he'll do that in public, what does he do in private?

I would recognise him and the child so I could make a report - I just don't want to blow one incident out of proportion but if it's more I'd hate to ignore it.

What should I do?

OP posts:
SonicHedgehog · 21/09/2017 09:30

Report him if you feel it's the right thing to do. But I don't think you should have told him off like an errant child.

Also it means he'll know exactly who reported him. Maybe you're ok with that. I wouldn't be. I don't need the aggro.

DamnFineCherryPie · 21/09/2017 09:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

womaninatightspot · 21/09/2017 09:33

Actually I don't think it is "legal" to hit a child on the head. Whilst "justifiable assault " on children is deemed acceptable (not to me!) you're not supposed to hit on the head, strike with an implement or shake them. I studied family law many moons ago this was in Scotland in CPA 1995 might be different south of the border.

I'd certainly mention it to the school.

JennyOnAPlate · 21/09/2017 09:34

Report it to school and let them deal with it op.

Pengggwn · 21/09/2017 09:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SleepingStandingUp · 21/09/2017 09:38

Physical chastisement of a child should be on a soft part of their body, not their head so no - it isn't acceptable

And I wouldn't report it, as it's none of my business child abuse is all of our business and if op feels tats what it was she has a duty to report it.
Where do you draw the line at "not my business"? Physical assault, molestion, rape? If op found out a child was being sexually abused should she also keep quiet because the child "belongs" to the abusing parent?

OP speak to school

Tinty · 21/09/2017 09:38

I also think you should report him to safeguarding. If he is happy to hit his child around the head in public, what is he capable of in private.

RoastsArelife · 21/09/2017 09:39

If it was a tap on the bottom I wouldn't be too concerned but a smack around the head? No chance. You don't smack kids around the head! Fair play to you OP for speaking out not many people would!

BoffinMum · 21/09/2017 09:41

This was fine in the 1970s but it is not fine now. But I think you have met your responsibilities by challenging him directly.

MyCatIsASpy · 21/09/2017 09:41

"And I wouldn't report it, as it's none of my business."

This is exactly the reason why I went through school with bruises from being thrown down the stairs - people thinking it was "none if their business. Turning a blind eye makes me angry

TheOldie · 21/09/2017 09:43

The trouble is that if you bark at the parent they are likely to respond in anger as they are already upset. I think that if you can, speak kindly eg. I can see you’re stressed, can I do anything to help? People know they’re not meant to hit, and sometimes a bit of kindness will help them cope better.

SonicHedgehog · 21/09/2017 09:45

How does barking at him help anyone though?!

Do you think it's going to solve the issue and stop him doing it in future, or simply inflame an already fraught situation?

Pengggwn · 21/09/2017 09:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 21/09/2017 09:47

report to the school safeguarding

interestingly we were talking about hitting in my very multicultural office

outside of the UK its fairly common for parents to smack their kids. I am not condoning it, or defending it. but the simple fact is that outside of this country there are cultures that see smacking their kids as part of normal & loving parenting.

Headofthehive55 · 21/09/2017 09:47

I agree with pengggwn

guilty100 · 21/09/2017 09:48

Wow, it's never occurred to me to interfere with the way a parent disciplines their child. I was hit very violently as a kid, and am against all physical punishment myself, but isn't it a matter of personal opinion?
(Genuine, not rhetorical question).

LesDennishair · 21/09/2017 09:50

Hitting crosses the line for me I'm afraid. I'd have done as you did and I would mention it to somebody.

Jackiebrambles · 21/09/2017 09:50

Good on you for saying something OP, I don't think I would have been that brave! But the way he reacted to you makes me think perhaps you have made him stop and think.

I think I would report to the school as well.

Winniethepooer · 21/09/2017 09:52

I think you need to think what you want to achieve in this situation from a long term perspective.

The reality is SS will do very little to support this child/family.

You witnessed the child being hit so have a responsibility to pass thst onto someone in authority. I would speak with someone at the school.

LesDennishair · 21/09/2017 09:52

Guilty - I always think a child has the right to be safe and protected from the threat of physical violence. I've never hit or used violence with my own child either.

Huskylover1 · 21/09/2017 09:52

Did you also shout to the child "Don't push your Dad like that!" ?

Thought not.

So little Jonny is allowed to push his Dad, and there must be no repercussions for that naughty behaviour?

Good luck with that, when he's a strapping 17 year old.

This is why so many children, are growing up to be naughty little shits.

It was a tap on the head, ffs. Unless it was a punch (which I'm guessing it wasn't, as you'd have no doubts about reporting).

Everyone got a clip around the head for naughtiness, when I was growing up (I'm in my 40's). Did us no harm at all. Guess what? I would never have dared to push my parents.

Uurgh. The namby pamby brigade.

PlatformNineAndThreeQuarters · 21/09/2017 09:54

OP you really had no right to say that

I agree. You can't tell another adult what to do

What that man did was wrong and i don't agree with it but if someone said that to me (about any matter not only my children) it wouldn't go down well

Hopefully for the child's sake it was a one off and not part of something more serious

yodelehoho · 21/09/2017 09:55

Was it a cuff round the ears/head? Lots of children might learn a lesson from that. You did say that that the child pushed the father. He may be pushed him that bit too far.

Headofthehive55 · 21/09/2017 09:55

Would you have spoken out the same if he had smacked him on the bottom?

BanyanTree · 21/09/2017 09:55

see smacking their kids as part of normal & loving parenting.

If someone much bigger and stronger came up to me and smacked me I would call the police. Its no different for children. Smacking is unacceptable. There is nothing loving about hitting someone much smaller than you.

I have managed to bring up 2 happy and healthy boys in a disciplined family environment without ever laying a finger on them. Its really not that hard.

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