Saw a dad hit their child on the school run. Do I report it?

[Moanyoldcow]

Please tell me if I'm over reacting. I'm extremely anti-corporal punishment, was not hit as a child and do not hit my son.

On the school run this morning there was a father and son who I see most mornings. They were a little late today and the boy was really agitated about it asking his dad to hurry. His dad was annoyed and kept saying they were very close (which is true) and to stop worrying.

The boy was obviously upset and pushed his dad. His dad responded by hitting him twice on the back of his head. It happened about 8ft in front of me.

I said (loudly but didn't shout) 'don't hit your child' twice. He turned to me and put his finger up to me like he was about to shout and I said again 'don't hit your child'. He was very angry but just said 'FINE' and we all finished the walk to school arriving about 1 min after the bell.

I know that parents can hit their children within limits so what he did wasn't illegal. I suppose I worry that if he'll do that in public, what does he do in private?

I would recognise him and the child so I could make a report - I just don't want to blow one incident out of proportion but if it's more I'd hate to ignore it.

What should I do?

Cuff
Belt
Smack
Slap
And the most cringeworthy one of all.. Tap

All these words mean to hit someone. Hope that helps.

I don't care what euphemism you use. It almost makes it worse, as you are actively using words to minimise and excuse your abusive behaviour.

Disgraceful.

I personally cannot imagine a situation where it is right to hit a child. The boy pushed his dad, how does it teach him that violence is wrong by answering that with even more violence? You have a child with a tendency to run into roads? Don't let them go near roads! Put them on reins, or in a buggy, or keep a close eye on them. I very much doubt you saved your DD's life by smacking her, that seems like something of an exaggeration to me.

And yes I'm a parent, I never smacked my kids, and neither of them got killed on a road!

Peng

The damage that any kind of physical punishment does to children is well documented.
This was the top result of a 30 second google search:

In 2011, the National Association of Pediatric Nurse Practitioners (NAPNA) issued a statement noting that: "Corporal punishment (CP) is an important risk factor for children developing a pattern of impulsive and antisocial behavior…[and] children who experience frequent CP… are more likely to engage in violent behaviors in adulthood."

Similarly, the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, in a 2012 statement, concluded that: "Although corporal punishment may have a high rate of immediate behavior modification, it is ineffective over time, and is associated with increased aggression and decreased moral internalization of appropriate behavior

Satellite
Great post btw.

I always feel that all those jumping up and down trotting out the whole 'light tap' 'never did me any harm' do so because deep down they feel pretty shit that they lost control and resorted to hurting their child.

red
I am howling with laughter at your suggestions!
One of mine would lie on the pavement refuse to walk if he had reins on, twisted himself out of two sets whilst in the buggy as a regular Occurance. Fortunately he didn't try to run into the road.

Slarti - assault is a word meaning a physical attack. It is also a word describing a specific crime. An assault is not neccessarily criminal. That does not mean it cannot be described as an assault.

I brought up the issue of spousal rape for very clear reasons. It's an example of a situation where describing an act with a word most commonly associated with a crime is clearly a valid descriptive term despite it not being a crime under the law. My comparison was structural; about the way opinion and the law evolves and why it's important to be able to assert that emotive language is applicable. I wasn't drawing a direct ethical comparison and I feel that was very clear, although I suspect you are attempting to derail the point by claiming that I was.

Penggwn, that's fair enough but my point is that assault has a descriptive dictionary definition beyond the criminal one. It's not incorrect to use it and I am concerned it may suppress debate?

What I was trying to convey was that using it in a context wider than it's leall definition is not incorrect.

I personally disagree with the law on this point but recognise that my side of the debate has not yet won the argument and accept the law as it is for now, so I won't get into the arguments around ethics and responsibility - I respect your position although it differs from mine.

I just wanted to defend both the accuracy of the term "assault" and its importance to a full discussion of the issue.

WashingMatilda exactly!

kitty I do know the difference between you're and your, I'm just not anally retentive. I'm typing fast and not drafting a legal document, don't be so pathetic. Mind you if I you dont agree with me with regards the actual topic, feel free with your sad attempts to insult me if it lights your candle. It just diminishes your argument and makes you sound like an idiot.

Well, no, but that didn't mean there are strategies that work well for all children on all occasions.

I have one child who is happy to sit entertaining herself in her own head, is really not Bribable and ignores me totally if she wants. So you can't really have a conversation that she doesn't want.
Although I don't smack her, the behaviour strategies are not widely helpful either.

None of your business, keep your nose out and look after your own!

Please report this. You can report it to the school as a safeguarding concern.

DeadGood I never said it painted my DH in a good light, in fact I said I was outraged. My point was that not everyone who smacks a child is a bad parent/person and none of us know from a split second view what that person is like the rest of the time.

*Loyalty
*
For all the OP knows, this could be one event in a long line of events. Maybe school already have the family on their radar. It could be vital safeguarding information.

damnfine and u2 my dd thanks you because you've just won her a bet. I showed her the posts because she's a well adjusted adult and not a delicate little flower. Although she was pissed off at first with regards the insults I have received, she eventually saw the absurdity of it all. She suggested I said she was upset and predicted your responses. So well done for your predictability.

Sorry Angelicinnocent, it sort of sounded like you were outraged but then came round to his way of thinking once he'd explained.

Anyway I'm in a bit of a mood tonight, so I'm sorry if I jumped down your throat!

No damnfine she's howling with laughter.

You still haven't answered the question lozen and your responses are just weird.

I don't think anyone is really 'howling with laughter' though are they?

Your ordering me to answer your questions trusting but what would be the point. You said that if under 3 she'd be to young to understand and 5 and over I've not taught her properly. No doubt if dd was between 3 and 5 you'd come out with similar crap. So I'm wrong either way. Good god, do you ever listen to yourself? 'Miss cherry judgy pants I'm a marvellous mummy who knows how to parent everyone else's children without knowing them' and you make a good pair.

@Lozen, yes it does feel as if whatever we do as parents must be wrong on here. Some posters are never happy unless there's someone to pick on and this evening it's your turn.

And smacking is one of the most contentious issues to do with parenting.

And anyone who admits to ever having smacked (or hit) their DCs must by definition be a bad parent. Never mind how well those DCs have turned out.