To feel uncomfortable about this

[user1471558723]

My mother is in her late eighties, she lives alone and looks after herself. I live some distance away but speak to her most days. I do her shopping and visit her once or twice a week.
She attends a craft club once a week, it's attended by people of all ages.
A much younger lady began dropping my mother at home each week, this then developed into her offering to collect my mother. This lady let's call her Anne is very kind she has according to my mother an unsupportive partner, a large family, primary school age children, grown up children and grand children. She looks after them all and does not have a job. Anne also looks after her elderly father who has terminal cancer.
I was delighted when Anne offered my mother regular lifts to and from the craft club. But now the friendship has intensified. Anne is visiting my mum several times a week. She is "helping" my mother with all the administrative work that I used to do, sorting out insurance etc.
I've told my mum there is no need to involve Anne in all this as she obviously is a woman with commitments of her own. My mum insists Anne wants to do everything she does.
My mum is very well placed financially and reading between the lines life has not been so kind to Anne.
I would really like to think that Anne is a lovely lady who has found a friendship with my mother despite the 45 year age gap. I'm just a bit uncertain and would value other people's opinions.

I would be very suspicious of Ann, OP. If Ann had good intentions, knowing full well that you, the daughter, visit your mother once or twice a week and do the shopping, she would never start interfering with financial matters such as insurance. She would just advise your mother to ask you about it.

I'm afraid you will have to tell Ann quite firmly not to interfere in your mother's financial affairs. You will also need to make absolutely sure that she does not have your mother's pin number etc. In the unlikely event that Ann is innocent and well-meaning, she will not be at all offended that a daughter is being careful. As others have said, you should get power of attorney sooner rather than later. I have done this with my father. It was an awkward conversation to have and he dragged his heels a bit but it is done now. I haven't taken over yet because he is still competent (just!). In the end he was very pleased to explain all his accounts etc to me and he now asks me for financial admin help now and then. If you know a solicitor that your mother trusts you can enlist their help to persuade her. Good luck.

The Alzheimer's Society used to have a very good Forum called Talking Point ( O.P im not suggesting that as a diagnosis ) which covered subjects such as cameras etc. From memory they are o.k if the house holder can give consent - as a method of safeguarding but best to check.
There are ways of preserving independence and safeguarding but they are sometimes bloomin difficult to find

I made friends with an elderly neighbour. She was an absolute scream: she and her friend used to joke about going to the toilet - 'the only time we use them now, dear'; and she taught me a lot about love and sex and how neither was actually invented by The Beatles.

However, I would never have dreamt of getting involved with anyone's financial affairs. I even made sure I brought a receipt when she asked me to buy her a pint of milk now and again.

I do think you should have a word with this woman, if nothing else, to reassure yourself (and to give a gentle warning that you're on the case).

any update OP?