AIBU to not want to bring the children

[summerbreeze15]

My husband is taking part in a marathon in a few weeks time. During the last few weeks there have been various smaller races ect and I've brought our children out to see him at the finish line. The big marathon is in the city and it will mean an hours train journey for me plus a 20-30 min walk or I could drive in with the kids but struggle to get parking due to the volume of people attending plus various road closures. My youngest is only a few months so I will have to take my stroller and navigate through the crowds. I never take my children into the city unless I absolutely have to. My husband expects me to bring them in to see him run the marathon. Aibu to not want to bring them?

No

Is it his first marathon?

Yes he's done half marathons before and races but this is the first full marathon

Oh god save us from another MAN with a HOBBY.

He wants/expects you to bring the DCs so he can justify to himself that what he is doing is a family fun day out, rather than his own hobby.

Just wish him well and tell him that it's very inconvenient to take the DCs and that you've been to XX number of events already. Plus I don't know what city it is, these days I'd be slightly wary of taking my DCs along to a big organised event in a major town centre.

Another idea is that you start running yourself and get him to wrangle the kiddiewinks along to cheer at the end so that you can feel all special and fabulous.

Honestly I'm beginning to wish I was a lesbian.

It's you who will be doing a marathon. You are not being U

How old are the other children? For the one that is a few months old, of course it's ridiculous, the child is too young to know what's happening, but if the others are older and you can get childcare, maybe not. However it sounds like a total ballache to me. I'd not be keen either.

I think you should for the first one then. It's a big achievement. It's nice to be supportive.

If he takes it up as a hobby tho I certainly don't think you should feel obliged to organise your family time around it indefinitely.

I'd take them. I know it will be difficult for you but his face when he sees you all will be worth it. Knowing you are there will keep him going, especially his first marathon. I ran London as my first marathon and my ex husband could be bothered to bring them. They were slightly older. I was gutted they were there. Don't underestimate how hard a marathon is. X

Well if it was the other way round would he be willing to do what he expects you to do

Doubt it

What a selfish tit
He should be grateful you look after the kids whilst he's out pleasing himself with his hobby.

Runlovingmummy - did you read one of the OPs kids is a baby?

He is obviously very proud and wants to share this moment with his family - I find this kind of sweet. If you are all going to the same place, would DH not be able to help you with the kids and then go off the the race? You and the kids could go find a park or something and then battle through the crowds after. But communicate you worries with him, just say it's going to be really stressful and you won't be able to manage alone.

You're supporting him more than enough by doing all the childcare whilst he is no doubt training for hours on end. No way would I be dragging the kids around for this.

I wouldn't. It doesn't sound like it will be much fun for you and the kids.

Agree with everything Rookiemere has written.

My dh runs. But only when convenient for the family. And he would never inflict a race on us - he's not self-centred.

Don't go to watch the whole thing, arrange it so that you can be at the finish (or close to it, say at the 23 mile mark when he might really need a lift". Then you can go for a celebratory dinner afterwards.

I am a member of the Rum Mummy Run group on Facebook and lots of mums complain that their husbands don't want to take the kids to watch them watch a marathon. I think they are being a bit unreasonable. It's a long race and like watching paint dry - there's nothing wrong in not watching the whole thing. It's not like a 10k!

What marathon is it?

YADDDDDNBU.
rookiemere

I actually prefer my kids not to come to races- I just feel guilty at them having to wait around for me. It's not always a great spectator sport. However- if they did come I would be delighted to see them, and it would make my day! Not much help that- sorry!

What rookie said

I love rookies post. Love it.

Show him Rookie's response.

I'm assuming he trains quite a bit for it? And I'm assuming he does this without taking care of the children?

I used to have hobbies. Once. Now I work ft and have kids they are a faint memory. Most men I know seem to maintain them after children. They must just be far more better at managing their time I suppose...🤔😂

Why thank you y'all .

I'm feeling particularly strident at the minute as DH is off yet again climbing up some mountains, I'd say for the weekend, but Friday to Tuesday feels somewhat more than that.

I wouldn't mind so much except he tells me in advance how horribly cold it will be and how hard these mountains are to climb, as if I should be impressed at his athletic feats, rather than it being what it actually is - him off for another break without his family.

Then he'll come home and tell me how tired he is and how much he needs a massage.

He wants you to come so you can cheer his great achievement, drive the car on the way home as his legs will be tired, and listen to him drone on about how exhausted he is. What's not to enjoy ?

I did the Race for Life once about 10 years ago. DS dad looked after him while I was doing it and the pair of them showed up at the finish line, which was nice. But it was a lovely sunny day and the event was held in a nice park with plenty of playground space so DS could have some fun and wasn't just standing around for aged (he was about 3).
This event sounds way too stressful for DC and too much aggro for you. WIsh him luck and suggest doing something nice like going for a amily meal to celebrate his efforts once it's over.