AIBU to not want to bring the children

[summerbreeze15]

My husband is taking part in a marathon in a few weeks time. During the last few weeks there have been various smaller races ect and I've brought our children out to see him at the finish line. The big marathon is in the city and it will mean an hours train journey for me plus a 20-30 min walk or I could drive in with the kids but struggle to get parking due to the volume of people attending plus various road closures. My youngest is only a few months so I will have to take my stroller and navigate through the crowds. I never take my children into the city unless I absolutely have to. My husband expects me to bring them in to see him run the marathon. Aibu to not want to bring them?

Marathons are bloody boring save for the start and finish. Who wants to wait around with small children for all that time!?

I think you need to buy a Simon Cowell mask and just start walking around the house wearing it. Any time he raises the subject, just pop your hand up and say, "It's a no from me."

Drive him 26 miles away, boot him out of the car and tell him to run home. Then there you and the kids will be, whooping and cheering him as he crosses the finish line.

If he doesn't go for this, he is utterly unreasonable.

Or maybe you/he could arrange childcare and just you could go? Taking a toddler and a baby to see him cross the finish line is about him, not them, or a family day out. Taking them when they're older will be great, but they won't remember now, you get a total ballache of a day and dh will be no help because he's knackered.

Lethaldrizzle
Having young children doesn't stop you moving about.

How does that work, if you've pre-agreed a place to be, and you're constantly scanning runners to make sure you don't miss the person you're supporting? If it's a city marathon, with barriers along the roadside, space for moving around is also likely to be limited.

Exactly how much room is there going to be at the end of the marathon, for you to be there to see him cross the finish line? I think to get a good spot, you'll have to be standing there for ages in advance, if it's a large marathon.

tbh I'd rather run a marathon than drag a baby and toddler to stand watching exhausted sweaty runners jog through a finish line
also I guarantee you at least the baby will be asleep when he comes through

PS Sorry I've assumed you have a toddler - your other child/ren might be older but even so, taking a baby too just makes it all much harder. If the older one/s are old enough, maybe just take them? I'd take a 5 yo and an 8yo, for example, but a baby and a 3 year old, nope.

I can only speak from my own experience and I never found it a massive problem. And my efforts were always greatly appreciated and the kids loved it.

My DH is running his first full marathon in a few weeks too (wonder if it's the same one???) having done halves until now. I can't say I'm a huge fan, he keeps pissing off on 4 hour runs which means I'm left on my own for a large chunk of the weekend and we can't do days out. But I am proud of him and I'm going to take the kids (1 and 4) to cheer him on at the finish line if we can.

Can you have a look for activities nearby? The one we're going to has a science museum near the finish line where I'm hoping we can spend a good chunk of the day before nipping over to see the line crossing!

If it's too much trouble to go he should take it on the chin though - you've already supported him in all the training etc I expect!

God no sorry but the idea of hanging around for 3 hours with young kids, being swamped by crowds, kids needing the loo, nappy changes etc etc and the possibility of losing your place at the finish line due to kid needing loo/ some selfish git pushing in front all for 5 seconds as he runs over the line? Just no.

You have dragged kids around to other races, looked after them while he trains that's quite enough.

It is in no way a 'family day out' for you. His hobby his choice you do not have to be as enthusiastic about it as he is. Would he do it for you?

Nah YANBU. It's a long time to hang around with kids, who won't even care that daddy has done a lot of running, all to catch a flying glimpse of him crossing the finish line.

Sometimes I genuinely think that runners just don't get how tedious they are.

How old is the eldest? Old enough to know what's going on? If so, I'd say YABU not to take them. If not, then there's no point really.

I remember mum's achievement so clearly. She was like wonder woman to me.

Holdmecloser - this exactly

My DH did the GNR a few years ago and I did take the kids to watch him. My youngest was 18 months tho - there was no way I'd have taken a young baby. In the end it was lovely. The older kids did the mini run the day before; we watched him run over the bridge then arrived at the end just as the red arrows flew over and in time to see him finish.
But a lot of it was luck - the weather was kind, the DC on good form, we got parked easily etc etc. It could have been awful.
We watched it the other week on the TV and he asked me - as if it had just occurred to him- how was it for you when I did it? I had this face and said actually it was pretty awful - lots of hard work with you going off to train just when I most needed a hand with 3 little ones and everyone saying how wonderful you were while I was doing all the invisible work. He was and we've agreed not to mention it again
That's a very long way of saying you're DNBU. Sorry it turned into such an essay,

I've been to quite a few with a baby/toddler and/or pregnant. Did collapse and require medical attention at one Watching isn't that bad and running it is an amazing achievement. It's nice to support your partner even if it isn't anything you're interested in and is inconvenient.

I wouldn't try to see him cross the finish because that's too busy but would arrange a couple of points and meet him at the end.

HoldMeCloser. Absolutely your mum's achievement was amazing. So is the person's achievement who looks after the children for the hours and hours of training and takes those young children to the finish line to watch. Yet IRL I see very little recognition of that unless it is me pointing it out.

When I ran the marathon it made so much difference to have someone (especially my family) cheering me on - but I think somewhere on the second half, 17 - 22 miles might be better than the end, knowing that you've got someone waiting for you at a particular spot really keeps you going. Sometimes the route doubles back so you may be able to see him a couple of times, once early on and once later, with a stop in a cafe or something in between? I've been a spectator a few times for ex-ILs and I enjoyed watching all the people dressed up and trying so hard, some kids like to hand out jelly babies or get high fives as people run by. I know it's hard, but it is just one day and with planning could be survivable.

Selfish man. Say "NO" and do somethings you and the kids will enjoy.

I suppose it was the hours and hours of mum's care and attention to us that made me care so much about her other achievements.

There were 5 of us growing up but I don't think mum would claim managing to bring us somewhere on a weekend morning - a thing she did literally every day - was as much of an achievement as her marathon.

Also I think seeing my mum unashamedly do something for herself was very good for us.

Fair enough HoldMeCloser

I'd do it, as long as he organised exactly where you can park and stand. 3 hours round trip by train/walking would be unthinkable for me with a baby and another dc!

If it was me, I'd do it.
He's been working hard and this is a massive achievement. You will be reinforcing a healthy lifestyle in your kids and bonding the family together by supporting each other.
You just have to be there at the end. He should be able to give you a rough idea of when he'll get there.
But then I ran a piddly 10k race a few weekends ago and was delighted to see my DH and children there.
Sometimes we have to do inconvenient things to make others happy.

I've taken ds to dh's bike races and he's brought him to see me run. We always say we won't if it's a really wet day but otherwise it's nice to support each other and for kids to see adults trying really hard at something.

I certainly wouldn't hang round the whole race though. We would go for lunch or coffe / find a play park and then see him at one bit maybe two then meet after the finish.

You've been to other races so the kids have seen DH run and achieve a goal. Presumably the location/drive/parking etc all worked out better for those. If this one is a ball ache then I'd say sorry and give it a miss. The other alternative is, as someone above said, to try for an early wave at the 6/7 mile mark, then hop off home.

Sadly for DH the consequence of doing a big marathon in a large city is that getting there with kids in tow (on your own) is more problematic. If he wants to see you along the way, then he'll need to choose his races and locations more carefully.