To be pissed with c-section shamers?

[LadyTsunade]

where have they all come from?! it seems to be a new trend where celebrities and others are shaming moms that for whatever reason have sections. Kate Hudson started recently claiming having a section was the "laziest thing she has ever done" 😤

head we are on the same page. In that every woman should get to decide for herself what a 'good' birth is. Rather than being dictated to by anyone else, whether that's doctors, nct, society.

And supported to achieve that birth if possible. In the full understanding that it is not always possible.

On the contrary. Every now and again I see Facebook posts boasting about how C-section mums are 'badass' and warriors.

Why the face miss? What's wrong with that. Caring for a newborn after major surgery is no joke. Or do you disagree?

Genuinely have no problem idea why women feel the need to bring other women down regarding labour.

I have had 2 vaginal deliveries and will opt for that again with baby no.3, purely because the thought of c-section terrifies me.

I also think it's a bit shit that some women who decide on section try bring down women who haven't with the usual crap of "least I'll still be intact" "least I'm not ruined downstairs" nonsense.

As long as the baby arrives safely and the mother gets through it safely, what does it matter.

I agree with happytobhomely. With anything in life it can go well or badly and often you have no idea ahead of time. You get what you get and you dont get upset (as my DCs nursery teacher used to tell them).

I've had both.

DD was a vaginal birth. The induction process was so traumatic for me they had to hold me down screaming. Then DD got stuck on the way out so I had an episiotomy and ventouse. Followed by a whole lot of blood and the realisation that I'd torn internally. I lost 1.5 litres of blood. Recovery was awful for months - I shuffled around, couldn't sit properly, awful pain. I can barely write about it without wanting to cry.

DS was an elective CS for medical reasons due to growth restriction but I would've wanted one anyway. It was still stressful, painful and scary at times, but far better for me mentally and physically, and the recovery was actually much easier than the VB.

So yes, the CS was easier for me, it was calmer and less work so I guess it was the 'lazier' option but so fucking what. I got no medals for my horrific VB, just a shitload of trauma that I wouldn't wish on anyone. Why is it not ok to choose the best/easiest way, whichever that may be?

Mermaid, that's great news about your twins. Mine are 5 now and although I recognise that every child is different, I can say that you would never know with my two these days.

Perhaps the best thing was that while other parents were fretting over milestones, I marvelled that my two were even home. It makes everything they do so special.

I am sure your two will keep going from strength to strength, and you have my respect for all you have had to cope with and my best wishes x

ELCS here, twins at 37wks. My girls shared a placenta. I felt under pressure from the midwives to push. My consultant was much clearer with pros and cons. If I'd have pushed I could have lost one or both if the placenta gave way at the wrong time i.e. After the first one came out baby placenta baby could have been dangerous for all three of us. I made a considered, educated decision for the best and my girls are 3yrs old now.
Currently in early pregnancy and will have ELCS again

It's often the language used. "I thought really hard, made a considered and educated decision and chose vb or csection." It doesn't matter which. The problem implies that if you chose the other option you are not educated or considered.

which isn't the case.

There are value judgements implied by a lot of the wording.

A c section is a paradox. Life saving, certainly, but if everyone had them the death rate for mums and babies would rise.

Fuck really....is this a thing now. My DD was born at 35 + 4, emergency CS. I never planned it, or wanted it and I was terrified. She spent 5 days in the special care unit too and weighed 4.9 0z. I was 41 years old. The scariest time of my life.

I'm only pregnant with my first but I have quickly leaned to steer clear of 'have you thought about the birth conversations' as it just give people a chance to stick an (unwanted) oar in. I may have to have a c-section as I have placenta praevia (touch wood it will move). However, when I explain this to people they have a look of horror on their face!!!!

a CS is the tough option
You have to recover from abdominal surgery!!!
I had 2 VBs and I don't envy anyone who had to have a CS or think they are lazy or too posh to push or other such shite.
It is strange to care or judge how another person's baby was born.

The laziest thing she's done? Is that not getting a pouch of microwave rice instead of boiling your own?

My 2nd baby was stillborn, and when I had my 3rd and got hooked up to a monitor, I absolutely freaked out. I had my 1st ever panic attack, so badly that the consultant stepped in and said I was never going to labour effectively and they delivered by EMCS. I've never ever been so terrified, my rate heart was pounding and I had an enormous hemorrhage after so DH was booted out of the theatre and was fairly traumatised afterwards. My 4th baby was an elective section that was calm, lovely and a great experience in spite of yet another hemorrhage. But since, I've had such issues with scar tissue around my bowels and uterus that has been ongoing hell for nearly 20 years. I literally would lamp anyone that told me it was an easy option, it wasn't by any stretch. My babies were born alive, and that was the only positive to come from a surgical delivery.

If DD3 hadn't been delivered by emergency c-section she wouldn't be here now. I possibly wouldn't be either.

I have no shame about it at all and would even go so far as to say that I preferred the caesarean delivery to my two vaginal deliveries, the first of which was absolutely horrendous and I still have the scars.

Some people are just twats.

Women will find a stick to beat other women with regardless of how they gave birth/feed their child.

VB - did you have an epidural? (Implying you're a wimp for not enduring the pain).
CS - too posh to push.

BF - you must be a new age hippy mother
FF - clearly you're trying to avoid saggy boobs.

I have always been honest when asked about my experiences of 4dc from 3 pregnancies.
-1x gas and air,

• 1x pain-relief free (aka shouting my tits off) planned home birth where Ds1 arrived before the midwife so no chance for gas and air.
• twin delivery with one vb on gas and air and 1 emcs under general anaesthetic. failed bf x 2, didn't bother bf twins and went straight to formula.

Mentally 2 out of 3 deliveries really took their toll on me even though recovery certainly from emcs was straightforward for me. And that's the point isn't it?

What works for one woman might not for another. I can only say 'this is what I did and this is now I feel'. Mavis from 2 doors down might be lucky that she squeezed 36 children out without breaking a sweat or asking for some paracetamol. Enid from work might either not be here, have a severely disabled or even dead child had she not been whisked in for an emergency section.

However, what we all share is the miracle of growing new life and bringing it into the world relatively safely. We've now got to negotiate keeping them safe and teaching them to be decent humans. And perhaps we need to remember that when all is said and done, that's a lot longer and harder of a job so how the baby got here is rather a moot point.

I don't understand the C-Sec shame. I begged my doc and midwives to do everything in their power to ensure I had a vagina lol birth cos I felt that recovering after major abdominal surgery with a newborn would have been hellish.
Ok, maybe it's an 'easier' labour (I don't know and have no comparison) but it's certainly not the easy way out. My friend couldn't drive or lift for months after hers and suffered from a bad infection.
Regardless, folk shame about those who have epidurals etc too.
Let them! Are you happy? Is your baby here sage and sound? That's all that matters

Vaginal lol?? Jeez... VAGINAL!

Also my comment refers to elective C-Sections (I live overseas and they're very common, but who cares how another decides to give birth??)

I don't understand how people can be judgemental about an emergency C Section, surely the clue is in the name!? An emergency operation to save child and/or mother. Hardly a picnic

I had a c-section as DD was breech, not a single doctor/midwife at my hospital would consider a vaginal breech delivery. I've had a handful of comments that I should have tried harder to get DD to turn

I'm recovering from an elcs 3 weeks ago. My first child had a vaginal delivery with 3rd degree tear. I'd take the vaginal delivery any day. I suspect my recovery isn't typical but the infection in my wound is leaving me in constant pain and the continued lack of independence is hard to deal with.

Star It will get better & your infection is no doubt delaying your recovery. Just take it as easy as you can which I know with a newborn & other children is pretty impossible!

I've never had a cs but I know loads and loads of friends and family who have and I've never heard them be judged or shamed. I've never come across this anywhere. Sorry to hear it's even a thing