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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pissed with c-section shamers?

200 replies

LadyTsunade · 16/09/2017 16:09

where have they all come from?! it seems to be a new trend where celebrities and others are shaming moms that for whatever reason have sections. Kate Hudson started recently claiming having a section was the "laziest thing she has ever done" 😤

OP posts:
Goldfishshoals · 16/09/2017 18:18

I just really don't understand the whole 'laziness' thing. I'm a very lazy person, I've been known to ask my DH to pass me a drink that I'd only have to lean forward to get myself. I'd never run a few meters let alone a marathon, but I had a vaginal birth.

In my case it was exhausting and painful and traumatic, but it was a process that just sort of happened, rather than anything I needed to be non-lazy for.

aims331 · 16/09/2017 18:18

Easy way? Hmm The spinal going in hurt my spine and made my body move uncontrollably. Then the first time I got out of bed it felt like my stitches were going to burst open. The constipation afterwards was so bad it was like having a baby coming out of my butt Grin and the multiple enemas hurt so bad. Then had to have a catheter in with blood in urine and couldn't wee naturally because of bladder trauma for nearly a month. I experienced labour and pushing with my first c-section and I would of preferred to have a vag birth over the c section experiences

MsHopey · 16/09/2017 18:20

CS are super painful. Standing up at 6 o'clock the next morning because the midwife refused to help me change my baby because that was my job as his mother is the most excruciating pain I've ever been in. And they only give you paracetrmol to take home!!! I went home 25 hours after being cut open. Any other surgery and you're in hospital for days. Keyhole appendicitis surgery is a minimum stay of 4 days, and I'm sure you get more than paracetamol to take home.
That much pain is not the easy option, but even imagine if it was, people take the easy option in life everyday and no one shames them for it, why do people think they have a right to judge other people's decisions regarding their own body?

Kpo58 · 16/09/2017 18:22

I'm not sure how accurate the wording for "emergency c-section" is either.

I had an emergency c-section as my baby was breach and my waters had broken. It was a very relaxed affair, not the running to the theatre life or death situation which you imagine.

allthingsred · 16/09/2017 18:27

2 emergency sec & 1 planned here. Not the slightest bit ashamed my beautiful girls wouldn't have made it if it wasn't for being able to have emergency section. The recovery time, having scar split open but still having to carry on & look after older children Did not make it a lazy or easy choice

Montsti · 16/09/2017 18:28

I'd just ignore...

I'm about to have my 4th (& final) c section...I would rather have had at least 1 natural birth but that hasn't happened.

Although, to date my recoveries haven't been that bad, I still think a straightforward natural birth is the no.1 prize and do find it odd that people choose to have c sections for no medical reasons (it's a major operation) but hey ho that's their choice, I suppose.

Original poster
LadyTsunade · 16/09/2017 18:28

thank you all for your replies! I'm glad there are others that feel the same

OP posts:
Lalala82 · 16/09/2017 18:33

Yep ignore ignore. One emcs and one (v v fast) vb here, I was walking about an hour after the vb and recovery was much longer than the emcs. Baby comes out, both of you are safe. Those are the two things you need.

Lalala82 · 16/09/2017 18:33

Ffs *with the emcs, not than Confused

goodeggsarehardtocatch · 16/09/2017 18:36

2 emc's here 1st was amber code and went ok, 2nd was induced trial so 17 hours of labour and then went tits up Angry dm has always gone on about wanting to be at a birth so for dd2 I said she could be in with dh and me. When it came to the c-section it was a fast decision and dh said to fm she could be with me.
She held dd2 first, she announced the birth and handed her to dh, she tells everyone it wasn't the same as being at a 'real' birth as I didn't get it right Angry

I had 8 units of blood in 24 hours and 2 more ops with dd2, according to my consultant I did bloody well !

kmc1111 · 16/09/2017 18:36

Kate Hudson wasn't shaming anyone. She chose an elective C-section for herself, and she made a joke about it.

heyhosilver · 16/09/2017 18:37

I was still being seen by the hospital 6 months after giving birth vaginaly. Still not fully recovered now.

I will definitely be opting for a c section next time.

SandyY2K · 16/09/2017 18:38

It's ignorance. The most important thing is having a safe delivery.

Moreisnnogedag · 16/09/2017 18:40

One incredibly crap VB and one delightful c-section here. Thoroughly delighted with my choice.

But did feel the rage when I was at work and went to the labour ward whilst heavily pregnant and had midwives ask me if I was one of those doctors who were too posh to push. Fuck off you judgemental cows - my body, my choice and you're not my bloody midwife!! (Saying that my Welsh midwives were absolutely lovely and supportive).

goodeggsarehardtocatch · 16/09/2017 18:41

Oh and to clarify my understanding is there are 3 types of emc's
Green - is really relaxed
Amber- is for mid labour breaches transverse breach ( dd1 was this and trying to come out knees first ?)
Red - is heart stopping speed and lots of shouting !

I may have missed the finer points though Grin

happy2bhomely · 16/09/2017 18:42

Some people have good births. These good births can be natural, induced or c-section. The birth goes well, with no complications and manageable pain or access to pain relief. Some even get a euphoric feeling and it is indeed a positive experience despite the pain. These are the births we all hope for.

Some people have difficult births. These births can be natural, induced or c-section. The births don't go well and there are complications. The pain might be unbearable with no access to adequate pain relief. It is scary. It is a negative experience, despite the safe arrival of a baby.

Then there are the births that result in a mother or baby who is very unwell or not alive. These are the births that we all pray we never have to endure.

I don't understand why anyone thinks it's necessary to compare. We all only get to experience our own. Why does it matter?

putdownyourphone · 16/09/2017 18:45

Bloody hell. Yea I felt really lazy and relaxed as I was having a catheter removed by a nurse with blood gushing all over the floor and was so numb I had to hold onto her shoulders to stand up. And then had to be wheeled about in a chair because I was in so much agonizing pain and spaced out from the opiate painkillers. It was pure luxury! Hmm

Original poster
LadyTsunade · 16/09/2017 18:46

It wasnt just Kate Hudson, there was also a birth photographer who refused to do a photo shoot as a section wasnt 'giving birth '.

OP posts:
gingergenius · 16/09/2017 18:49

On the operating table with my second cs and the anaesthetist jokingly asked if I was too posh to push. I told him to fuck off and then burst into tears. I did get an apology afterwards.

Headofthehive55 · 16/09/2017 18:55

To me my csection didn't feel like giving birth - it was more like major surgery.
IT was not exciting, nor enjoyable.
i felt flat afterwards.

Each to their own - I would fight tooth and nail for women to have the choice.

SleepMofo · 16/09/2017 19:01

I've had two csections, the last was just over a year and a half ago.

I still get quite severe pain in my scar site. I was turfed out of hospital less than 24hours after having someone slice my stomach open. I got an infection that nearly killed me and had to be rushed back in with a bleed through my surgical site.

Still, it would have been better to die in childbirth though. So so lazy, putting myself and my babies survival above my bragging rights.

I hope these judgemental knob heads get their teeth extracted au natural too.

JustDanceAddict · 16/09/2017 19:03

A section saved my dd's life & prob mine. Stupid people.

DeliciouslyHella · 16/09/2017 19:04

I've had a ventouse delivery for DD1 and a category 1 EMCS for DD2. I birthed them both and anyone who says differently can fuck right off. Both had pros and cons - I lost a lot of blood with both; the physical recovery was harder from the EMCS but the mental recovery harder from the ventouse.

My EMCS was a calm experience despite the need for haste. DD was out within 4 mins of them putting me under general anaesthetic. I met her about an hour later.

Backtoblack1 · 16/09/2017 19:10

Hate this. I had a section on my twins and lucky I did. My daughter was born with a congenital defect and was the second twin - she would have really struggled if she'd gone through two lots of contractions/labour.

My lovely consultant told me that a csection was the safest way to deliver a baby. It's no picnic having that epidural either!!!

TiesThatBindMe · 16/09/2017 19:15

I asked my aunt, a midwife and my birthing partner whether I could have given birth myself. Her response was that I would have but that the baby wouldn't have been ok. I suffered months of pnd as a result. My body had basically failed. I'm over it now but it was very horrible to hear.