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Original poster

To be pissed with c-section shamers?

200 replies

LadyTsunade · 16/09/2017 16:09

where have they all come from?! it seems to be a new trend where celebrities and others are shaming moms that for whatever reason have sections. Kate Hudson started recently claiming having a section was the "laziest thing she has ever done" 😤

OP posts:
craftsy · 16/09/2017 17:30

It's all so ridiculous. When your child is a teen or older (or even just out of the baby stage to be honest) no one even cares how they came into the world

I had my only child by c-section so I'm not going to 'shame' anyone for it but people born by c-section have worse long-term health outcomes than those born vaginally. Those worsened health outcomes tend to be felt as adult illnesses. So while few people will ever put two and two together, the c-section may well effect the person who was born that way in negative ways later in life. It's not something to be ashamed of but it is something that maternity professionals and pregnant women should be aware of because acceptance and knowledge gives us the power to try and mitigate any damage to the baby.

Headofthehive55 · 16/09/2017 17:32

I found I got comments for refusing a c section second time and wanting to attempt a natural delivery. I was selfish apparently. (In the end she came out that quick I didn't make the labour room)

purpleypink · 16/09/2017 17:36

I have had both. I wouldn't wish a C Section on anyone. They are awful. After giving birth naturally I was up, showered and debouching round the room an hour later whereas I feel the C section recovery aged me 10 years.

NameChangr678 · 16/09/2017 17:36

I've never got this whole "oh you should do it natural", "C-section is cheating" bollocks that smug mums spout out.

Surely it's the result that counts?

purpleypink · 16/09/2017 17:36

bouncing, not debouching

Weebo · 16/09/2017 17:39

Source craftsy?

NataliaOsipova · 16/09/2017 17:41

Who the fuck judges how someone gave birth?!

Exactly. If you have a healthy mother and a healthy baby at the end of it, then you have a good result.

Plus - for what it's worth - I was terrified of the idea of a C section. It's a major operation, with all the associated problems (can't drive for six weeks being a major downside in my book - and probably one of the least of them). I'd always feel like someone who'd had a C section had really been through the wringer.

DontLetMeBeMisunderstood · 16/09/2017 17:43

Bluelagoons - the number of women who choose a caesarean 'for no particular reason' is negligible. Judge away, but you're largely judging people that don't actually exist. Most women have a reason, even if it's not one you understand or agree with.

EllaHen · 16/09/2017 17:45

Normally, I hate all the 'link to your please' but I'm intrigued (genuinely) Craftsy.

Does this research differentiate between elective and emergency? Does it allow for reasons for the section. Ie, I have a spinal condition, hence my elective sections. Why on earth would my children's long term health be effected by being born this way?

There must be others reasons and the research shows correlation.

I was born by emergency section in the 70's. Should I be worried?

EllaHen · 16/09/2017 17:46

That should've been 'link to your source please'.

user1497997754 · 16/09/2017 17:51

I had to have an emergency c section as my baby was in distress ....afterwards I felt like a failure it was awful...When myself and hubby separated now divorced his parting words were why couldn't I have had a natural birth like most women, I knew at that point I had done the right choice in leaving him. At our daughters wedding he mentioned in his speech how he had nearly lost our daughter at birth ...also me....I until that day she was 27 when she got married didnt realise that we were both in danger during the 37 hour labour not just my daughter as nobody had ver told me.

rookiemere · 16/09/2017 17:51

I too would like to see the evidence for that craftsy.

I had an emergency C-section - if I hadn't DS might not have made it to the stage to worry about later life outcomes. I went to my NCT classes - I was in their birthing pool, I tried to make do on gas and air, but ultimately when DS's heart rate was going down, I didn't have much of a choice.

Then the joy of the NCT reunion with my "failed" birth and bottle fed baby ( DS had tongue tie and they aren't allowed to sort it out at the birth hospital any more so I gave up and ff).

I'm not sure that major surgery whilst conscious followed by hoicking round a strapping newborn baby on no sleep is my idea of an easy ride. Thank god for medical science I say, I do believe that since C-sections were available, infant mortality rates have declined somewhat ?

AlpacaPicnic · 16/09/2017 17:52

Maybe KH has been made to feel guilty about having a CS, and that's why she feels it's 'lazy'. Maybe she chose a CS, maybe she was pressured/influenced into it and feels uncomfortable with that decision.
She was talking about her own feelings, not passing judgement on anybody else.

WaxOnFeckOff · 16/09/2017 17:52

Oh dear yes, of course it's the easy way Hmm

I thoroughly enjoyed my 36 hour labour and then EMCS with DS1 who was lying back to back and I had sacroiliac hip dysfunction which rendered most positions impossible - borderline for a blood transfusion on top of that and then recovery from major surgery with an almost 10lb newborn.

I then went on to have an ELCS with DS2 13 months later as he was also back to back, I had hip dysfunction again and they were concerned that the scar wouldn't last through labour (which the confirmed during surgery that it wouldn't have).

I had two healthy babies and for that I am thankful.

However it also seems that I am such a lazy cow....

Dragonglass · 16/09/2017 17:52

I had a c-section with my first, due to him being breech. Vbacs for the rest. I much preferred the vaginal births, recovery was so much quicker.

When I told my mil that I was going to have a vbac with my 2nd child, she said 'so you're going to do it properly this time' Angry
That 2nd child is 22 now, but I'm still pissed off with that comment.

Getout21 · 16/09/2017 17:54

I remember reading that babies do benefit from the bacteria in the mothers vagina so CS means they are not exposed to this. I think the bacteria is important re asthma, obesity etc.

Not sure re the evidence though & I'm sure a lot of other factors are involved.

I was born by EMCS so found it quite interesting.

Sosks · 16/09/2017 17:56

I'm terrified of giving birth again vaginally, my only experience of it is losing my son. I'll be asking for a c-section when we conceive again and I'll deck anyone who has anything to say about it Angry don't know why people think it's their business how another woman gives birth.

Musicaltheatremum · 16/09/2017 18:01

ive had 2. both babies breech. they are 22 and 24 now. Great planned deliveries. no guilt. couldn't care less what other people think and mine don't have any increased infections or asthma.

frisbeefreedom · 16/09/2017 18:02

I wonder whether it would help if we got rid of the word 'elective'. Surely, on the NHS at least, there are a tiny number of truly elective C sections. What it really means is 'planned'. There's such a huge difference between something being a choice and something being medically necessary/recommended and 'elective' does that no favours.

imaddictedtomn · 16/09/2017 18:02

Elective c section here. Not sorry or ashamed in the slightest; it was awesome.

^^ me too! I love gloating about not having one single contraction!!

Minxmumma · 16/09/2017 18:03

Ignore them - stupid people with stupid opinions.

I have had 2 vb and 2 c section - 1 emergency 1 semi elective (they tried to induce and failed so gave me the option to wait it out or c section) Neither is easy or glamourous and as far as I am concerned I don't really care whether you go all Earth Mother in a field or high tec section as long as you get a happy healthy baby and a happy healthy Mummy that is all that matters.

barefoofdoctor · 16/09/2017 18:04

Women can never get it right. And often we're the worst at beating ourselves/each other up over this sort of crap. I have the utmost respect for anyone who has given birth vaginally as it terrifies me (hence my C-section). Both must be completely insane experiences and who cares how they come out as long as they and the mother are healthy/alive?

IfYouHappenToSee · 16/09/2017 18:05

I also had an EMCS.

It was that or the baby would have died. If someone wants to try and shame me for having a living child rather than a dead one, then good for them.

mirime · 16/09/2017 18:14

I wouldn't wish a C Section on anyone. They are awful

I'd pick one over being induced again. I never want to go through that again, it was horrendous.

DaisysStew · 16/09/2017 18:16

YANBU, that's a ridiculous thing to say, it's not a competition and you don't get extra "mum points" for having a VB. All the women I know who've had a CS have done so for medical reasons, most having to have an EMCS after hours of labour. What's the alternative, say no thanks and end up with either yourself or your baby seriously ill or dead... how is that better?

As far as celebrities having EMCS - who cares. It could be for medical reasons, psychology reasons or just because she wanted it, if the end result is a happy healthy baby then why judge their choice.

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