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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be pissed with c-section shamers?

200 replies

LadyTsunade · 16/09/2017 16:09

where have they all come from?! it seems to be a new trend where celebrities and others are shaming moms that for whatever reason have sections. Kate Hudson started recently claiming having a section was the "laziest thing she has ever done" 😤

OP posts:

SuckingEggs · 16/09/2017 19:17

Ignore the fuckers.

Headofthehive55 · 16/09/2017 19:19

I think that's quite an issue when consultants tell women that its safer to give birth by csection. If the alternative is a normal birth, then that's incorrect.
It makes women feel guilty for wanting a different way.

I had a doctor tell me my child would die if I gave birth vaginally. He couldn't give me a reason. He didn't believe in VBAcs. And said it was not possible.
I did the impossibly three times, easily - once before this consultation and if he had bothered to read the notes adequately he might have realised.
Choice for me is key.

user1468353179 · 16/09/2017 19:20

My sister had a c-section due to the baby's position . Had she tried for a vaginal birth, neither of them would have made it. She was in terrible pain for a long time afterwards. Hardly the easy option if you ask me.

AirandMungBeans · 16/09/2017 19:29

Someone I know joked that I'd been too posh to push and that I'd taken the lazy way out, 12 hours after DS was delivered via a crash section as his heart rate had dropped so low they thought we'd lost him. I think she was expecting me laugh along with her, but I sobbed and sobbed in front of her as the shock had started to wear off. DH went mental and frog marched her off the ward. I never heard from her again. Some friend!

Original poster

LadyTsunade · 16/09/2017 19:37

I think there's too much pressure put upon Moms (and parents in general) to do everything 'proper'

OP posts:

Getout21 · 16/09/2017 19:42

Yes consultants definitely have their own opinions. I wanted to try naturally & went for an induction & original consultant was happy with this as my body had done it before. However during my hospital stay I had another consultant really trying to push me towards CS. It's frustrating as you want guidance but hear conflicting views.

I knew my body could do the VB but I also knew after 3 failed inductions the baby was just not ready to come out. Confirmed during CS when they had to use a ventouse as he was high up & had never engaged.

topcat2014 · 16/09/2017 19:47

DW had emergency CSec, late on Sunday, consultants buzzed in from home etc, while I signed consent forms including words like

"risk of death to mother and baby"

TBH anyone who dares criticise CS to my face can go to hell.

no strong views then

CatsRidingRollercoasters · 16/09/2017 19:48

Ignore them. They are twats. I've had both types of birth and neither was easy. Not their business.

I had a friend who told me I was too posh to push. She'd had a serene home birth whereas my baby and I had nearly died during a horrific vbac. We're no longer friends!

Amanduh · 16/09/2017 19:53

People are ridiculous and talk a load of old crap. The Kate Hudson thing though, maybe she just decided to have an elective csection so she didnt have to push or labour and felt she genuinely was being lazy herself? Not that she means other people who do are. Or she's thick Stupid way to write it when theres no way of explanation though.
People who say it in general can do one.

What really gets my goat is people who say 'anyone can have a positive birth with the right mindset/hypnobirthing/classes' etc. Yes well, you're lucky it went that way for you but no some people can't

CatsRidingRollercoasters · 16/09/2017 20:03

Agree Amanduh Anyone can have a positive birth... unless your massive baby decides to turn their head sideways in the birth canal. I'm looking at you dd.

Mossend · 16/09/2017 20:08

I can't think of any other type of major surgery where you'd be expected to have no recovery period and then get criticised for having to have the op in the first place

MissAlabamaWhitman · 16/09/2017 20:20

C sections should be available on demand;
No woman should have to labour or give birth vaginally, unless she wants to.
No woman should feel as if they should give birth vaginally. This is the twenty first century, we have options.

TakeMe2Insanity · 16/09/2017 20:22

DS was breech. I did everything I could for him to turn. Had a chat with my consultant about a natural breech delivery (midwife was pushing for it, so that I could be the first breech birth for the new breech vbirth team) and that put things in perspective. The actual birth of was lovely almost beautiful. Think general polite chatter about travel dr interrupts to ask if we'd like to inow sex! Now the recovery was something else altogether. It was bloody hard work. While others from groups could walk to the local coffee shop to meet I could literally only 5 mins one way and 5 back. Such hard work.

There is no other major abdominal surgery where they a) chuck you the next day b) treat you as if you are shirking responsibilities eg midwife why haven't you got baby - because I can't get up etc c) and expect you to look after this new person.

The only person who has suggested I didn't do it properly was MIL who basically said "her daughter did it all natural because thats what she wanted unlike you..."

GreenRut · 16/09/2017 20:26

1 EMCS followed by 2 ELCS here : zero shame, even less shits given. What on earth has it got to do with anyone what I do with my body? Fuck that for a laugh.

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 16/09/2017 20:38

I've done both both ways.

If I had a third I would definitely try for another VB. (Is it still called a VBAC when technically it would be a VBAVBAC?)

Mainly because 20 minutes after my VBAC I Was wondering what food we had as I was starving. 20 minutes after my c-section the doctors were screaming "get the husband out of here! We need to stop this bleed. We need to stop this bleed right now. We're losing her." I could hear it all but it was all being said very very far away.....

howthelightgetsin · 16/09/2017 20:42

I don't see why how you give birth matters to anyone other than the mother and baby. How you raise the child matters and there are lots of aspects of parenting I would judge other parents on. How the baby comes out of you? Nah.
The only thing I will say is, I never understood people wanting to talk about their births until I'd had one (vaginal birth). I did talk about my birth a lot after. It wasn't a terrible birth but it's very cathartic to talk through it. The talking about it is to help myself though and not a judgement on anyone else.

jobergamot · 16/09/2017 20:44

If I'm honest, i feel like I have missed out on some euphoric moment by having an EMCS but I feel zero shame.

Rockandrollwithit · 16/09/2017 20:57

I had an elective section for my second for mental health reasons relating to the first, very traumatic birth. I really enjoyed it and felt genuine elation when he was born.

My son was born with a rare undiagnosed condition that meant he was rushed to NICU in a hospital two miles away. He had to have surgery on his second day of life. I really couldn't care less how he was born, just grateful that he is still here.

SunSeptember · 16/09/2017 21:41

I don't thing enough women speak out proud ly for choosing a ELC,planned. It's a Way to give birth. It's a wonderful way to give birth. It's not easy, I found with vag birth I paid heavily in the sleepless lead up and Labour And after. Whereas with the section delivery etc was wonderful, but recover y at home, although in no great pain was hard. Women have been shamed by this too posh to push crap. Hell,if you've had one and liked it just say. Don't be shamed. I had one, I am going to end my daughter's to have one.

YoureAllABunchOfBastards · 16/09/2017 21:41

It's utter fucking bollocks.

DS1 was brow presentation: if he had moved any further down he'd have been born with a broken neck. Emergency section, much panic.

DS2 was taking his sweet time (as he has done ever since). Much calmer section but still necessary - tbh, he is 8 now and I reckon that left to his own devices he'd still be in there faffing about.

Of course, having abdominal surgery is such an easy way out....like fuck!

SunSeptember · 16/09/2017 21:42

Mum was that a planned elc or emergency section.

YouCantArgueWithStupid · 16/09/2017 21:43

I've only had a VB but lots of friends have had C-sections and I honestly have never thought they took the easy way out!

Original poster

LadyTsunade · 16/09/2017 21:49

My first section was an emergency one, Id been in labour in the hospital for three days, and eventu ally the drs realised my daughters head was in wrong position to go for it naturally. they then almost killed the two of us by nearly giving me two epidurals- the second to be administered into a vein in my arm!
Second section was fine, except I wad denied pain relief in th e ward afterwards. The midwife thought i wa s trying to get high 😑

OP posts:

Getout21 · 16/09/2017 21:54

Reading other posters experience here I do find it bizarre that after a CS the midwives just leave you to get on with reaching for & feeding your child!

Original poster

LadyTsunade · 16/09/2017 21:56

getout21 - i've wondered that aswell

OP posts:

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