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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be turned off by his silliness

187 replies

girlconfused · 13/09/2017 09:29

Argh.

I met a lovely guy a few months ago and he's caring, funny, generous - all the things you could possibly want in a partner (and basically the total opposite of my ex).

We've seen quite a lot of each other, I've met all his family, get on really well with them and lately things are becoming a bit more serious.

I know no one is perfect BUT his silliness is starting to really put me off and turn me off being physical with him.

If we're with other people he doesn't do it, but on our own he puts on silly baby-type voices, will make silly faces and will act quite camp at times (will walk in a way as if he's swinging a bag on his hips/dance in a silly, quite feminine, way etc.)

He can also act quite immature when we're alone and if for e.g. I say 'Right! I'd better head off, it's getting late', he'll start acting like a kid and say 'Noooooo, I don't want you to gooooooo' in a childish voice and cling onto me.

On one hand I really do appreciate all his lovely other qualities and the fact we both want the same things in life, he's a good person, yada yada yada. And on the other I just feel like I wish he would be a little more mature and serious when it's just the two of us.

AIBU to potentially call it off for this? We're both in our twenties.

OP posts:
Original poster
girlconfused · 15/09/2017 09:29

A small update! I think the message has been signed, sealed, delivered.

As soon as he started being stupid last night I looked at him dead pan and said "You really need to stop acting that way if you want us to have a sexual relationship".

He did some of his irritating idiosyncrasies during the first hour and every time I pulled him up on it saying a variation of "Stop acting like a baby. I want to date an adult, not a child". (Sounds a lot harsher written down than how it came across IRL)

I think he got the message because later on in the eve (after no silly business for a few hours!) he apologised for winding me up all this week and said he was just trying to make me laugh GrinBlush

OP posts:
CrumpettyTree · 15/09/2017 09:35

@flatpopcrapcrisps Your first post on the first page made me laugh Grin

livefornaps · 15/09/2017 10:04

HOORAY!!!

sounds like the message has struck home

livefornaps · 15/09/2017 10:04

HOORAY!!!

sounds like the message has struck home

blubberball · 15/09/2017 10:07

Wishing you every happiness in your relationship. He sounds like a sweet guy.

LonelyOversharer · 15/09/2017 11:08

So glad you told him op. If everything else is good, it was worth a quick telling. How he acts from now on will tell you who he as, as he knows now it's really not funny.

Someone at some point found his actions funny, it might not have been a gf. I have to tell my dd's not to baby waby talk to their quite-a-bit younger brother, if I ignored it I can't it makes me crazy I could see them all growing up thinking super baby talk is normal/funny. I also cannot 'hear' dd3 when she uses her baby voice. I either tell her to talk properly or igore her until she switches to her real, sweet and lovely voice. She's 9. I sound like a horrid harsh killjoy mother, but really I'm saving them from getting dumped in the future it seems!

pollymere · 15/09/2017 13:42

My dh was so camp in awkward situations people warned me he was gay... I suspect your man has no idea how to act and is possibly covering up shyness. The baby pleading is possibly something he thinks is cutesy. Tell him that it's definitely not your thing. Give him a chance to relax in your company and hopefully he'll get the message. Tell him to relax if needs be.

PickAChew · 15/09/2017 13:46

He sounds utterly needy. If he's annoying you this early in the game, you need to walk away before you explode at him for being a pillock.

PickAChew · 15/09/2017 13:48

I see that you've told him. I wonder if he can keep up the grown up act.

BorisTrumpsHair · 15/09/2017 13:54

sounds good OP - I really hope he gets it & you go on to have a lovely relationship

NoodleNinja · 15/09/2017 14:18

Hopefully that's the end of it now.

MyPatronusIsAUnicorn · 15/09/2017 14:39

Have you ever actually laughed? Hope he stops it now he knows how much is annoys you.

My DH can do stupid stuff, I always eye role or ignore him (he's no where on the scale of the ones on here though!). A current irritation is when he comes home and we are all in, he'll often just go and stand outside the window and look in at us, sometimes waving, sometimes standing there. He will be acknowledged then just continues bloody standing there, why ffs! Once I just went over and shut the curtains. Even the DCs generally ignore him now. Although he hasn't done it for a while so maybe he has got the message.

DagenhamRoundhouse · 15/09/2017 16:15

My DH is the exact opposite. He's incredibly serious and can't take teasing. I'd rather he was a bit silly at times!

Only you can know if you can stand this sort of behaviour but why don't you talk to him about it and ask him to stop it? He won't change if he doesn't know it's irritating. Probably thinks it's endearing.

Zsuzsika · 15/09/2017 20:03

If that's his only fault then you're lucky. Compare it to your other relationships and ask yourself, can you get to like his silliness because if you do then you have got an amazing partner to spend many happy years to come.
What I used to do when making a decision if I want to stick with someone is decided what I defo don't want in the other person. So if it irritates you that much then you need to move on without him. But if you think you can come around in liking these then I do believe you will be happy with him

Zsuzsika · 15/09/2017 20:06

Ahh that's nice, I just read your update. I really hope it'll work out between you two!! :))

KnowsStuff · 15/09/2017 22:55

He needs a mummy figure... 😆

RiseToday · 15/09/2017 23:10

Hmm, being the cynical old bag that I am, I predict this won't be the last you see of Mr Chuckles.....

Aeroflotgirl · 15/09/2017 23:20

Bin him, he will be free t find someone who loves his funny personality. That is who he is,but you have to change him, don't bother.

TooSleepyToCare · 18/09/2017 09:25

How was the weekend, op? Did he manage to stay a grown-up?

AprilLady4 · 22/09/2017 10:59
Gin
Ducknose · 22/09/2017 11:12

I sicked a bit in my mouth reading this, sorry OP!

MoodyMumOfOne · 22/09/2017 12:01

This has to be up there in the top ten funniest threads, sorry OP! Please keep us updated, am sadly getting over invested!! Grin Grin Grin

MoodyMumOfOne · 22/09/2017 15:38

Come on afternoon crowd, this thread is hilarious and even (tentatively) has a happy ending! Smile

TheDodgyEnd · 22/09/2017 15:38

I've only just seen this thread and it has cheered up my day no end 😂

Boop that booty outta there!! (I actually don't think that I just wanted to use the phrase)

Glad you were able to broach it with him OP, would love to know how he's been since you mentioned it!

Original poster
girlconfused · 06/11/2017 14:16

Well, I’m not sure if anyone will see this but for those who wanted an update:

I am so glad I stuck it out! We’ve basically been together every day for the last 3 months and I’ve never been so happy both with life or with a partner. He is the man I’ve always wanted, I just had to tell him to shut the hell up first GrinWink

On the rare occasion he acts like an annoying nob idiot, it either makes me genuinely laugh or I tell him to stop being annoying and then we end up having a giggle about it.

Thank you for the comments and advice everyone.

OP posts: