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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be turned off by his silliness

187 replies

girlconfused · 13/09/2017 09:29

Argh.

I met a lovely guy a few months ago and he's caring, funny, generous - all the things you could possibly want in a partner (and basically the total opposite of my ex).

We've seen quite a lot of each other, I've met all his family, get on really well with them and lately things are becoming a bit more serious.

I know no one is perfect BUT his silliness is starting to really put me off and turn me off being physical with him.

If we're with other people he doesn't do it, but on our own he puts on silly baby-type voices, will make silly faces and will act quite camp at times (will walk in a way as if he's swinging a bag on his hips/dance in a silly, quite feminine, way etc.)

He can also act quite immature when we're alone and if for e.g. I say 'Right! I'd better head off, it's getting late', he'll start acting like a kid and say 'Noooooo, I don't want you to gooooooo' in a childish voice and cling onto me.

On one hand I really do appreciate all his lovely other qualities and the fact we both want the same things in life, he's a good person, yada yada yada. And on the other I just feel like I wish he would be a little more mature and serious when it's just the two of us.

AIBU to potentially call it off for this? We're both in our twenties.

OP posts:
RoboticSealpup · 14/09/2017 11:20

Couldn't decide arghh

AtHomeDadGlos · 14/09/2017 12:03

I agree with the others who say you should talk to him about it. He might be doing it because he thinks it's cute or funny.

Either way, when he realises you don't want to shag him because of it he should stop.

sonjadog · 14/09/2017 12:20

I think that if you like him apart from this, then you should give him a chance. Talk to him and tell him that you don't like the baby voices/ behaviour, and that they are putting you off him. Make it about specific behaviours rather than his whole personality. Give him a chance to adjust them if he wants. But if he doesn't, then he isn't the man for you.

LondonLassInTheCountry · 14/09/2017 12:27

Talk to him about it.

Dont just dump him

CruCru · 14/09/2017 12:28

I often wonder whether men who do this are actually rather frightened of women.

dollydaydream114 · 14/09/2017 12:56

he did a toddlerish pouting face and said "me stay wiv oo and your wuvvly boobies for ever and ever

Hahaha, PollyFlint, this has made me feel actually queasy! So gross. Please tell me she's not seeing him again...

GinandGingerBeer · 14/09/2017 12:59

Fuck no! Kick his bot bot outta that door and chuck his teddy bear after him. Otherwise you'll come home to find him in an adult baby grow wearing a nappy one day.

Shesaid · 14/09/2017 17:48

You like everything else about him. Well then try this: sit him down and tell him you find him a bit childish and you're worried he isn't mature enough to be a life-long partner. Adults should be able to have that conversation. It's possible that he's not facing something on a bigger scale and you are colluding with his staying emotionally immature. Your calling it out might be a wake up call for him. It will hurt - but it might also be the trigger for a change in him. See what happens.

Cantthinkofabloodyusername · 14/09/2017 17:58

I would speak to him and give him a chance...only a small chance though or a murder may occur!

Dianag111 · 14/09/2017 18:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

littlebird7 · 14/09/2017 18:59

If it is already annoying you so much definitely call it a day. Fast forward 10 years and think how it will grate on you then!!

DILF1981 · 14/09/2017 19:21

You are going to let a lot of complete strangers decide for you? Stop being spineless and talk to him about it! You said everything else is great!! Maybe he thinks you like it!

Acromantula · 14/09/2017 19:30

I have attempted to 'train' a man out of annoying habits before. I had an otherwise lovely DP, who adored me in suspenders and stockings, and we had amazing sex when I wore them. BUT he would always snap the suspenders, like boys did at school when girls started wearing bras. So I said, if you do that again I won't wear them again...he snapped them and I never wore suspenders again. His loss.

CruCru · 14/09/2017 19:37

I used to work with someone who would put on a baby voice (he started a year after me so I spent some time training him). It was exhausting.

JonSnowsbuttocks · 14/09/2017 19:54

I like a man to be a man Hmm

Honestly see if some bloke said that about a woman he'd get his cock and balls handed to him.

FWIW just talk to him rather than ridiculing him over the internet. You have listed loads of good points if these out weigh the annoying attributes listed you probably owe it to the both of you to at least discuss it before ditching him.

manicmij · 14/09/2017 20:34

These little annoyances will fester and fester so best to say bye bye now. You will never be able to ignore them day In day out.

strawberrisc · 14/09/2017 20:36

Leave. Before he asks you to put a nappy on him.

TishHope · 14/09/2017 20:40

I used to work with a woman who did the baby stuff, too. I think she thought that it would attract men. I felt very sorry for her daughter.

VelvetKnickers · 14/09/2017 20:41

Have to echo what others have said - traits we once found endearing can become highly irritating years down the line. If it’s pissing you off now you would probably end up murdering the poor bastard Grin

All jokes aside though if you are finding things a turn off at this stage it’s probably telling you something. And for the record I would find it highly offputting as well

VelvetKnickers · 14/09/2017 20:44

@Zofloraqueen27 I would love a cushion like that GrinGrinGrin

MarvellousMonsters · 14/09/2017 21:15

Oh bloody hell. I couldn't deal with that. I'd be ripping the piss out of him mercilessly. If he didn't take the hint and stop it I'd bin him.

Sadmum987 · 14/09/2017 21:41

Ok I can totally sympathise as years back I had a lovely boyfriend who did similar (maybe not quite as bad!) but whilst it annoyed the hell out of me I loved him and didn't want to end it.
I'm not 100% sure how I started the convo but basically told him that I loved the comedy him but could he be himself more often and a bit more serious because that's what/who I really loved, just him being himself.
I hope/tried to be sensitive and do it nicely and he took it very well to be fair! I remember him saying "I thought you liked it" and replying I liked him more.
It was fine after that!

VelvetKnickers · 14/09/2017 22:57

Okay just came back to rtft properly and ‘boop’ is the fucking worst. I have no sympathy for this man

SherbrookeFosterer · 14/09/2017 23:25

If he is like that after a few months, imagine after a few years.

For your own sanity, move on from him.

Better luck with the next one!

JamOrCreamFirst · 14/09/2017 23:44

Jessica Grin