To be turned off by his silliness

[girlconfused]

Argh.

I met a lovely guy a few months ago and he's caring, funny, generous - all the things you could possibly want in a partner (and basically the total opposite of my ex).

We've seen quite a lot of each other, I've met all his family, get on really well with them and lately things are becoming a bit more serious.

I know no one is perfect BUT his silliness is starting to really put me off and turn me off being physical with him.

If we're with other people he doesn't do it, but on our own he puts on silly baby-type voices, will make silly faces and will act quite camp at times (will walk in a way as if he's swinging a bag on his hips/dance in a silly, quite feminine, way etc.)

He can also act quite immature when we're alone and if for e.g. I say 'Right! I'd better head off, it's getting late', he'll start acting like a kid and say 'Noooooo, I don't want you to gooooooo' in a childish voice and cling onto me.

On one hand I really do appreciate all his lovely other qualities and the fact we both want the same things in life, he's a good person, yada yada yada. And on the other I just feel like I wish he would be a little more mature and serious when it's just the two of us.

AIBU to potentially call it off for this? We're both in our twenties.

OP, this would drive me round the bend too. It's not silliness per se that I find annoying, it's the infantilism thing. My DP makes me laugh constantly and I'm sure some people would categorise some of the stuff he does as 'silly' but it never involves baby talk, clinginess or that weird needy toddler act that some adults feel the need to do.

I find it really hard to find men attractive if they are using baby voices or behaving like a little boy. I just can't find someone sexy if they are imitating a child. It makes me think of those 'adult baby' fetish people who dress up in babygros and want 'nanny' or 'mummy' to fuss over them.

I definitely think you do need to talk to him, as this guy probably thinks that what he does is cute and endearing and has no idea that you hate it. If he can't stop or thinks you're being horrible to him or reacts incredibly badly, then yes, call time on it. But give him a chance to put it right rather than just ending things immediately.

Good luck! Let's hope you'll never have to listen to the baby voice again...

Years ago, my friend was engaged to a guy like this. They got married and then it turned out that he was gay.

I'd have to kill him.

He looked hurt, then smiled and said "has my whittle baby waby got her monthlies? Do you want some choccy woccy? Me get you some Choccy woccy..."

He left to get choccy woccy and I didn't let him back in.

Brilliant, well played 👍🏻 bet he still blaming your "monthlies" for the end of the relationship 🙄

I could bear that type of behaviour. You need to have a very frank talk ASAP. I would just say it like it is, as nicely as possible. "I think you have so many wonderful qualities, but it is very off-putting when you use baby talk and act like a toddler. This doesn't work for me." Then give examples so it's clear what you mean. As others have said, this might just be who he is and he won't change, but it is possible that for some fucked up reason he thinks you find it humorous or endearing. All I know is that I could not be with a man who behaves this way.

*COULDN'T bear! Damn fingers.

Oh god really?!?

You do know what the pair-bonding stages are all about right?

Men act like irrepressible idiots because they want to see how you will treat their.children!

Game play or get angry and controlling at your peril!

This just sounds too silly and irritating. You could try telling him but it could be that you just aren't suited. I wouldn't like this idiotic behaviour very much either.

I want to slap him round the face just from your initial post....get rid. He sounds like the sort of guy who seems perfect until he asks you to change his adult nappy

OMG, since posting on this thread this morning I've just had a Facebook conversation with a friend who had recently met a bloke online. I asked her how it was going and apparently after a few dates he came to her house 'for dinner' and after they'd eaten they were getting down to it on her sofa and he said 'me want see your wuvvly boobies now' as he tried to take her top off. Incredibly, she put this down to a momentary blip and still had sex with him, but apparently when they were in bed afterwards and she asked him if he was staying or whether he had to leave (apparently it would have been reasonable for him to leave rather than staying the night for some logistical reason relating to the locations of his work and her house, which I can't pretend to understand) and he did a toddlerish pouting face and said "me stay wiv oo and your wuvvly boobies for ever and ever".

What the fuck is wrong with these men? WHY ARE THEY DOING THIS??

*since posting on this thread this EVENING, not this morning. I'm so horrified by the baby talk stuff that I don't even know what fucking time it is any more

I think I would have faux-difficulty understanding what he was saying each time he spoke in a baby voice and keep saying pardon? pardon? until he got the hint, became very embarrassed, and realised he needs to converse like an adult.
Or " why the fuck are you talking like a baby?" would probably also suffice!

I don't see what this has to do with a man being a MAN.

Do you think this is how women behave? It's not how women I know behave.

It would be equally irritating behaviour if you were dating a woman.

It's a non-gender-specific annoying sense of humour, that you don't like.

He is a grown adult man, he is not going to grow out of it!!

If you are thinking of dumping him anyway (and this sounds like it may be an overall loss for you) then you have nothing to lose by a frank and honest conversation! Tell him it annoys you when he puts on a baby voice, tell him it annoys you when he acts all camp(when you really know what a manly man he is), tell him all the things that he puts on that wind you up!

It seems the 'real' man is lovely, but the 'fake' one not so much!!

If it is a choice between dumping him and talking to him like this, then the cha is the least hurtful anyway, he will always be baffled as to why you dumped him otherwise!

"one day everything will go blurry and you will find chunks of him in the bath".......this made my day, week, forever. I spilled a cup of tea all over my duvet laughing!!!! How I can so relate to this sentiment....but that's for another thread. I am going to embroider this on a cushion!!

@Flatpopcrapcrisps then one day everything will go all blurry and you'll find him in chunks in the bath. End it for his own safety

I had an ex who was constantly joking, pulling my leg. It wasn't a problem at first, but then the jokes got boring. He also wasn't able to cope when I tried to be real with him, and wanted him to stop joking.

Because of this I ended up dumping him by letter.

My DH can be funny, too. The difference is that he is actually funny, and he can be serious too.

Your DP's babyish voice would probably creep me out tbh. It's completely unattractive, you talk that way with children not with adults fgs.

he'd talk in the third person and say things like "me needs my nunights I laughed so much at this because it's exactly something he would say too. He says "sleepies" and "oh look, crispies" instead of crisps. God, when I type it out it makes me cringe.

Jesus..

Not sure if this..

Is helpful :)

Oh god kill him. That wound drive me INSANE!! 😡😡😡

Would 🙄

I dated a bloke like this, he lived at the 'Hefalump and Castle' as he referred to it. He was a fucking barrister too, wonder if he spoke like that in court...

'He says "sleepies" and "oh look, crispies" instead of crisps.'

Oh Op it worsens

Ugh, shudder.

You need to find out whether the silly babykins him is a peak at the 'real him'. Or whether it's a collection of terriblyill judged mannerisms that obscure the 'real him'.

If the first, place hastily back into sea for someone else to love cope with. If the second, he can stop it and be a perfect fit with you and you'll both live happily ever after, together :)

I recognise this a bit from an ex who had a really weird view of women. (Clothes decide whether he hated them or wanted to be one, I think.) He used to imitate women and gay men a lot, acting all camp and "feminine". He also did the toddler thing. (He came out as bisexual later but I'm not sure that's got anything to do with it, probably more about trying to conceal it.)