Tattoo

[2much2do2littletime2doit]

So had my first hen do away just recently and all the hen had a tiny (old 50p) sized tattoo, on our feet. I already have a tattoo from 20+ years ago, my DH of 7 years is not keen on them, which I did know. However come home and he says he now wants a divorce. That using the excuse it's my body is a 'lefty' argument and he has the choice not to look at it, that he's now no longer attracted to me because of it. I will point out we normally get on very well, no issues apart from the normal petty things. I completely think he's over reacting.

Xpost...

👏👏👏 was for Eamonn.

that anyone would want a divorce because of a tattoo or that youd want to be with anyone who judged based on tatts.

So if DH deliberately got one, knowing how I feel I'd take it as an indication that he doesn't really care about me.

It really depends. If I really like tattoos, I like tattoos and it is not because I don't care about him. It is because it is my kind of thing.

Is there some sort of tag team system for arseholes on here or do they take different shifts?

Whiterose

Your reaction is pretty extreme.
Ops oh has not reacted like that to her other tattoo so I doubt if its the same reason for him.

A tiny tattoo on her foot is hardly going to be noticable 24/7 so to suggest divorce over it is ridiculous.

I really hate the idea of my wife wearing a skirt in public. The idea repulses me. If she deliberately wore one, knowing how I feel, I'd take it as an indication that she doesn't really care about me. I'd definitely divorce her. If she wanted complete autonomy over what she wears, she shouldn't have got married!

Was going to channel my inner Inigo Montoya

I'm sure his words are "I do not think it means what you think it means".

(insert smug smiley)

🥇

Looks like a ring 💍 but is a 🥇 medal.

Hahahah what an idiot.
Leave now.

There's definitely more to it, for him, than the tattoo.

My DH has 3 tattoos. He's mentioned getting another and I don't really have strong feelings either way. If I told him I hated them and I would hate for him to get one, and he got one anyway, it would be a sign that he doesn't give a shit about my opinion. Not about the tattoo at all, the lack of respect as a partner. I think it would be worse if he went and got one while drunk at a party, rather than a considered choice of image and being told "hey I'm getting this tattoo".

People have their "triggers" and apparently tattoos was/is his. My DH has certain big issues: we don't flirt with other people, I don't flash cleavage all the time. He has "preferences" such as he likes long hair. He doesn't bitch and moan if I cut it, but I know his preference and choose to take it into consideration (even if I didn't know I look awful with short hair...).

Tattoos appear to be important to you. He hates them. Neither of you can "win" because they're polar opposite views. He compromised and "put up with" one (to him, a big deal), and that wasn't enough for you, you needed another. You decided your need for a tattoo outweighed his opinion of them and he would just deal. Apparently you were wrong.

Experience

Good point. Highly unlikely to have married in the first place!

I agree whiterose
I wouldn't have gone on a date with him in the first place had he got one.
But then I didn't need to go there, I was never short of offers!

@2much2do2littletime2doit how was your night has he came to his senses any? I honestly feel for you.

Thank you I appreciate it. No, still the same. Feeling pretty awful to be honest.

That poster has come out with worse, trust me...

But yet I'm still here...

NewDaddie, why do you keep using this forum? Except to be deliberately argumentative, patronising and obtuse?

Am I supposed to know who you are edmund? And moreover why should I explain myself to you?

I can't even imagine how horrible this is for you. I'm hoping any solicitor worth their salt will laugh him out their office.

I know this is crazy to say but have you suggested removal if it's really bothering him? I really don't think you should pander to it but this is your marriage and you don't sound like you are happy to throw it away over something so petty.

I guess depending on how he reacts to your offer will be telling enough if it's about the tattoo entirely or not.

Am I supposed to know who you are edmund? And moreover why should I explain myself to you?

Oh no, I don't expect you to remember me in the slightest. I remember you though, made a special note of your username. Yes, I am quite surprised you're still here, guess you haven't quite pissed off enough people yet. However, that's not my decision to make.

I'm so sorry op - it seems like such a strong and drastic reaction from him.

No need to answer - these are personal questions, but does he have a short fuse generally? Does he often have extreme reactions? We're you getting on ok before this?

OP will he talk with you?

It sounds like there's more to this, at least in some deep part of his mind, and quite possibly yours too, so time to get it all out. Go somewhere neutral and talk it all through.

Anatidae's questions are really good and you should answer them but as much as it would satisfy my curiosity to know it might be better if you thought it over privately. If there is something wrong with DP or your marriage or both not alone there are loads of people who were completely unaware that they had serious problems until divorce was mentioned.

Hope you had a good sleep too OP and that things get better for you.

You are not alone*