Tattoo

[2much2do2littletime2doit]

So had my first hen do away just recently and all the hen had a tiny (old 50p) sized tattoo, on our feet. I already have a tattoo from 20+ years ago, my DH of 7 years is not keen on them, which I did know. However come home and he says he now wants a divorce. That using the excuse it's my body is a 'lefty' argument and he has the choice not to look at it, that he's now no longer attracted to me because of it. I will point out we normally get on very well, no issues apart from the normal petty things. I completely think he's over reacting.

That's lovely, OP. Makes him sound even more unreasonable, now!

It's not for the op to judge the h on his reaction. She may feel its unreasonable to have a reaction like that but she can't control it.

It may be that he was not really happy and that this is a tiny straw that just pushed him over the edge.

I think it was Edmund Tice (psychologist) who said you can do anything you want but you have to accept the consequences.

It's not for the op to judge the h on his reaction

So it's ok for the H to judge OP because of the tattoo but it's not ok for the OP to judge that reaction?

Tweety pie and similar tats are chavtastic.

For god sake ! my dp doesn't really like tattoos . I have a few and will prob get one more , because I like them. Done with doing things to please men . Fair enough I wouldn't get one scrawled across my face

He hasn't said anything about the tattoos I have and I 100% know he wouldn't say anything negative about another . Surely a strong relationship is worth more than something so irrelevant as a tiny tattoo

Op already had a tattoo when he married her. If they are such a problem why marry her in the first place?

Surely you'll be wearing socks more often than not. So he won't even see it.
He does sound like a cock to be fair.

If I wanted to keep my body autonomy I wouldn't have got married.

I agree with all @pollyflint said and think it's option b, the tattoo is an excuse or maybe it's the final straw.

If I wanted to keep my body autonomy I wouldn't have got married

I'm very confused by this - you're saying by getting married you allow someone else a say in what happens with your own body?

Regardless of his opinions on tattoos, this -

using the excuse it's my body is a 'lefty' argument

makes him a colossal cunt and you'd be better off without him.

If I wanted to keep my body autonomy I wouldn't have got married

Please tell me you're joking/trolling. If not, what the actual fuck?

If I wanted to keep my body autonomy I wouldn't have got married

I've been with DH for 30 years, married for 25. I have never, in all that time, lost my body autonomy. Nor has DH for that matter.

If I wanted to keep my body autonomy I wouldn't have got married.

What is this? You do own your own body rather you are married or not.

Please tell me you're joking/trolling. If not, what the actual fuck?

That poster has come out with worse, trust me...

If I wanted to keep my body autonomy I wouldn't have got married.

Of course, OP could easily tell her husband to get a tattoo or she is leaving (there are people who can not bare to date people without any tattoos, btw)

How much time is he really going to spend looking at your feet? It's quite an easy area to avoid looking at!

So i assume you let your dh decide how you dress / look then if you have given up autonomy of your body . Yikes !!! let's hope he doesnt decide he likes facial dermal implants and eyeball tattoos

2017 people . Give me fucking strength !

If I wanted to keep my body autonomy I wouldn't have got married.

Have we stepped into a time warp?
WTAF?
When you marry you give up bodily autonomy? Seriously? SO your husband can do whatever he wants with your body and you dont get a say in it?
Sexual abuse?
Physical abuse?
Rape?
Forcing you to have a tattoo?

Oh there is the 1800s calling they want you back pdq.

Getting married does not mean giving up bodily autonomy, either legally or morally.

Anyone is free to any relationship for whatever reason they choose.

Tattoo's do seem to polarise opinion

Oh, and OP's DH married her with a tattoo, OP has said she has spoken in front of him (so I assume he heard) that she wanted another, and he appears to have said nothing.

And now he's decided he wants a divorce because of a small tattoo he could easily not see.

Yes, I agree you can divorce or leave people for whatever reason, I've just done that recently myself. But to make the tattoo an issue now suggests other things are at play here, like a controlling nature, or wanting a divorce for other reasons and not wanting to say why, etc. He's not being honest here.

I have tattoos, have changed my hair style and colour in many ways, have changed clothing styles, and my Ex, while exhibiting other crap behaviour, would never have tried to stop me from making any changes to myself.

Sounds like he was looking for an excuse to be out imo. I'm really sorry you're going through this op.

My DP doesn't like tats, piercings or dyed hair. I have 5 tats, lots of piercings and my hair is currently turquoise. I made him pay for me to have a Monroe piercing last year as an apology for trying to tell me not to do it 😂

Either he is mentally ill or this is just an excuse.

What @BlondieNikC said. My other half is the same hates all body mods, I'm the complete opposite if he loved you he would just shrug say how he felt and move on. It's a tiny tattoo on your bloody foot if he is seeking divorce let him.

I think the word "disrespect" is a red flag for the person using it being a complete plonker.

If I were you, OP, I'd say "that is very sad that you want a divorce. How would you like to proceed? We should probably both see separate solicitors." and then go an make a cup of tea.

Christ though, not only did you take his name but now you have a tattoo referencing it.

No I haven't stepped into a time warp. I'm aware of the current year, no, I'm not advocating rape and thanks for all the other straw man arguments.

Marriage is about compromise, it's a partnership, and it's a contract of your whole self with another person (imo). It's not supposed to be just 2 individuals with shiny finger jewellery and elevated statuses.

I really don't understand why some people bother getting (or staying) married.