To feel at times that I live on an entirely different planet to other MNers?

[RozDoyle]

I'm not criticising. This place is great. I have had some amazingly advice and support from people here and it's brilliant. But sometimes i feel like I live in a completely different world to a lot of posters here. I probably won't articulate this very well but I'm going to have a bash.

Examples:

• little boys in dresses/the whole "gender neutral" thing. Literally all the parents I know irl just dress their kids in clothes typical to their sex i.e. Boys wear "boys clothes" and girls wear "girls clothes" and nothing is ever said about it. I have never seen a little boy in a dress, for example, because they'd likely be told not to wear a dress in case they were teased. Sad, but true..

• parents who cook every single meal from scratch. Always mega healthy and nutritious, and talk about it like it's the norm. In my world, most parents work and are simply too busy to cook from scratch every night (or too tired). No one "batch cooks" at the weekend. Its just whatever they can chuck in the oven after a hard day.

• how quick people are to shout "LTB". Now I should emphasise that I am not talking about cases of violence, cheating etc. But things like, a husband not pulling his weight around the house. In my experience, most people can't, and don't want to, leave their husbands, to whom they have children, for issues such as that. It's an extreme solution and it makes me wonder if these same people would really walk out of their marriage over such trivial matters.

I'm sure I have loads more examples but I can't think of them right now. Just wondered if anyone else feels this way?

I NEVER batch cook and freeze stuff though. Couldn't be arsed.
(in my coat as in, the minute I walked the door I would have a pan of oil on and a knife in my hand hiphop)

Yes to the person who said that cooking depends on your level of skill. Both DH and I are very competent cooks. We cook quickly and dare I say it, well. My mum (and I) can cook a five course Indian meal in 90 odd minutes!
Lots of things I can't do though. Like eat competently with chopsticks. Or ride a bike. I don't judge others for not being proficient cooks!

Yeah, I always knew "cooking from scratch" as "making tea" luchi
I didn't know it was a thing!

I can't fit any batch cooked stuff in my freezer. It's always bursting.

Mind you, for all my 'live and let live' talk, the current 'Do you chew yoghurt?' thread has completely blown my mind .

I've never been trolley barged in a Supermarket, nor witnessed any of the hair raising/apoplectic rage inducing incidents regularly regaled on MN.

I know no one who refuses to answer the door or phone in the evening, nor do I know anyone who gets offended or angry if people do phone or knock on the door.

Huh? Who is chewing yoghurt? Why?!

What who chews yoghurt?!

Isn't all this a subjective though. There are lots of things i wouldn't entertain or go with but others would. I have always felt free enough on here to say my piece.

It's in active threads, Luchi. Be prepared for cognitive dissonance.

I can't find the chewing yoghurt thread. I feel like I need to investigate!

I often feel like I'm in the twilight zone in real life so this is nothing different. It does however make me laugh more.

yoghurtgate

silverbell MN is lovely for the humour.

@Ifnot

Still confused here.

It takes 5 seconds to remove your coat.

Why would you start tea 'in your coat?'

Not adding up sorry............ Makes no sense.

Is the 'I started tea in my coat' line for effect?

I cook from scratch. Because growing up my mother cooked all kinds of shite.

I taught myself, over the years, I've got some fantastic go to recipes that I'm very quick at. Doesn't mean I don't get fed up with it, or cook fish fingers for tea.

I noticed chicken dippers have 'mumsnet approval' written on them now

Life is a balance.

my circle isn't that big, so I do look to MN to learn about all walks of life. I love how we are strangers. How we don't know what we all look like, what religion, what colour, what class, what background....it's brilliant without prejudice.

I have changed my views on many things since being on MN. My view has widened, my empathy even larger for various different situations.

I do know of evil PTA parents. I knew a lady down our road who dressed her girl as a boy, and got very angry when people asked her how old her son was. I think lots of ladies should LTB, easier said than done. It took me years to leave mine.

I do bloody wish I'd been on MN back then. I'd have realised a lot sooner all kinds of things.

Overall, we're a good bunch. You get the goady fuckers, trolls, and complete empathy lackers...but then you get that in real life too.

There's something about talking to a stranger in the middle of the night, who's going through a problem and you're on the other end offering support, it's just...nice

That's very true, gluteus .

roz I am with you on the cooking from scratch. I'm sure all these mothers make their pasta from flour and water....

Personally my go to quick meal when I can face taming 3DC into the bedtime routine is to give them a plate of oatmeal with a carrot (referred to as an Olaf nose) and a banana. Oatmeal is cooked in batches and put in the chest freezer. I make it with pumpkin and apple sauce for a portion each of fruit and veg.

The microwave in our home is called chef Mike. It got named after a particularly annoying PTA mother harped on about having a personal chef cook their dinner each night. One of the other mothers felt so uncomfortable about this lady. I was like sweetie we all have a personal chef for midweek dinners, he is called Chef Mike. The eldest DC named the oven Chef Owen and the frying pan got named chef Pam.

I do feel a bit other planety sometimes. Mostly in relation to the teen threads - not the problem ones (can really relate to those) but to the level of freedom that is considered the norm for teens on MN - from early to late - including access to drink and soft drugs and the attitude that a 17 year old is an adult and any parental involvement is over. It is really different where I am.

With regard to the gender neutral stuff it seems like half the kids in my dd's school (high school) are gender neutral/fluid/switching and what they wear is just as fluid. No one bats an eyelid and it is mostly viewed as self-expression of teens without becoming any major trans or gender political movement.

I think loads of people on MN should LTB if what they post is true - or never have married in the first place. Am frequently shocked at the shit people put up with.

The made from scratch thing doesn't bother me (like many it was just called cooking when I was growing up and it probably took my mother less time than opening a ready meal - cordon bleu it wasn't). What does absolutely astonish me is the picking apart of individual meals - like the baked potato lunch one a few days ago- people commenting that it didn't have any protein so wasn't a balanced meal as if there is some magic potion for each meal that must be met exactly. Food is the new religion with lots of fanatics and lots of ways of transgressing.

Why would you start tea 'in your coat?'

I'm not this poster but I sometimes do literally start cooking supper in my coat because otherwise I take off coat in room, then realise i need a wee, then spot some laundry that needs dealing with now for whatever reason, etc, and when I'm finally back in the kitchen it's 30 min later and I'm now hungry and just starting to cook.

Other stuff - i agree with a pp. I have learnt so much empathy from eavesdropping on others' views on here, particularly re medical issues, housing, family disputes and the like.

I've just had my first child and I'm dressing her "gender neutral " in that I prefer most colours to pastel pink for her clothing (while she lets me have a say!) but you know what, my cleaner (sorry, yep, got one of those) brought her a lovely pink clothing set and bib yesterday and I'll totally be dressing her in that. If it had said Daddy's Little Princess or I Hate maths, Let's Go Shopping or something on it, it'd have gone on once for a thank you photo then returned/exchanged or donated.

I do try to batch cook but really the only thing I do is bolognese and every sodding time I forget one of the ingredients and we then have six meals of bolognese without red wine/tomatoes (yes, really).

I am a high earner and manage to combine that with spending heaps of time on here. I might be a higher earner if I wasn't

Oh, and nearly all our meals consist of item of protein (chicken thighs, piece of fish), potato/rice and a salad of tomatoes, cucumber and onion, so while I "cook from scratch" five days a week it's 20 min of active cooking a day, less if I've made an extra portion the day before.

Cavendar I'm also in the US and my experience is the chair of the PTA is normally the nicest woman ever! I haven't met one who I didn't like.

Going back up thread, I'm a Mum who takes other people's kids' cellphones off them. I don't have to do it with my sons' friends, but I get my DD's friends to pile them up on the table so they actually talk to each other. They keep coming back allthefreakintime so it's obviously not that bad!

I feel it's a bit other planety sometimes but if anything I guess it's taught me what's going on in people's heads (they just don't say it ourloud)!

The whole noisy neibour thing for example. A lot of mumsnet would like your children locked in till 11am and then only quiet playing in the garden. Then in the evening no bbqs, no smoking (especially weed) and no music. WTF! Real life is not like that. Gardens are there to be enjoyed. No ones ever complained about the evening in RL and I had one reasonable request to keep dd in till 8am which I took on board.

... and lots of other things but the 'problem neibours' threads always make me laugh because the OP often sounds unhinged.

As for cooking, I love cooking so it's no bother. I'd rather be cooking in that hour before tea time than cleaning. Cooking is like a hobby for me and I use it as a way to wind down in the evening. That said it's not strictly one or the other. Very often it's popcorn chicken and some sweet corn from the freezer as well!

I have never seen a public row on a bus or about P&C spaces or disabled loos.

My neighbours are lovely and nobody has ever parked on my drive.

It does seem like a parallel universe sometimes. Plus lots of overthinking stuff.

was brought up on egg n chips, braising steak n chips, chop n chips and potato hash. Chippy on a Friday

Me, too 😀 And I've not heard of potato 'ash for years! My husband is the cook in this house and, as he's a southerner, he doesn't know what it is and when I try to describe it he curls his lip!

I'm also amazed at the number of high earning, high flyers married to Men with Very Important Stressful jobs with a Long Commute. Are there no hairdressers married to mechanics?

And I hate the sneery threads about people's decor. You know, the 'twigs and pebbly shit' threads - they're just so mean spirited.