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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel at times that I live on an entirely different planet to other MNers?

508 replies

RozDoyle · 11/09/2017 23:49

I'm not criticising. This place is great. I have had some amazingly advice and support from people here and it's brilliant. But sometimes i feel like I live in a completely different world to a lot of posters here. I probably won't articulate this very well but I'm going to have a bash.

Examples:

  • little boys in dresses/the whole "gender neutral" thing. Literally all the parents I know irl just dress their kids in clothes typical to their sex i.e. Boys wear "boys clothes" and girls wear "girls clothes" and nothing is ever said about it. I have never seen a little boy in a dress, for example, because they'd likely be told not to wear a dress in case they were teased. Sad, but true..
  • parents who cook every single meal from scratch. Always mega healthy and nutritious, and talk about it like it's the norm. In my world, most parents work and are simply too busy to cook from scratch every night (or too tired). No one "batch cooks" at the weekend. Its just whatever they can chuck in the oven after a hard day.
  • how quick people are to shout "LTB". Now I should emphasise that I am not talking about cases of violence, cheating etc. But things like, a husband not pulling his weight around the house. In my experience, most people can't, and don't want to, leave their husbands, to whom they have children, for issues such as that. It's an extreme solution and it makes me wonder if these same people would really walk out of their marriage over such trivial matters.

I'm sure I have loads more examples but I can't think of them right now. Just wondered if anyone else feels this way?

OP posts:
Anecdoche · 12/09/2017 00:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Justgivemesomepeace · 12/09/2017 00:17

I don't know anyone who gives a toss about gender neutral anything, boys wear boy stuff and girls wear girls stuff. I know the odd girl that doesn't wear girly stuff but that's nothing to do with parental influences. I know of no boys who wear dresses. Cooking from scratch depends on your definition. To some people a jar of uncle bens, and frying off some chicken is cooking from scratch. Its not to me. Cooking from scratch is probably an aspiration rather than the reality for most people I know. I personally sometimes cook from scratch. I was brought up on egg n chips, braising steak n chips, chop n chips and potato hash. Chippy on a Friday.

Speakeasy22 · 12/09/2017 00:17

But also, having lived through a long difficult relationship, it was amazing to find MN and realise that my situation was not that unique after all. Wish I'd found it years ago.

Anecdoche · 12/09/2017 00:17

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WorraLiberty · 12/09/2017 00:18

And also, there seems to be (over the last year particularly) a disproportionate amount of people 'suffering from anxiety', only when it comes to awkward but basic communication with other adults.

"My neighbour's music is too loud. Shall I pop a note through their door or report them to their Landlord?"

"Errr neither. Just be an adult, knock on their door and give them a chance to put things right".

"Yes but I don't like confrontation and I suffer from anxiety".

Anxiety is a real thing and can cripple people's lives for goodness sake. Being anxious about having to knock on someone's door to ask them to keep it down, does not equal 'suffering from anxiety'.

It's just a normal, awkward situation that no-one would really welcome.

Original poster
RozDoyle · 12/09/2017 00:19

Well if you finish work at 5pm and get home at say 6pm and you have preschool children how do you have time to cook from scratch every day?! They go to bed at 7!

OP posts:
Original poster
RozDoyle · 12/09/2017 00:20

It takes me 15 minutes to chop a fucking onion!

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 12/09/2017 00:21

OMG I so cross posted about the anxiety thing Blush

It really is the new 'depressed' when someone means they feel a little bit down.

Or the new 'bullied' when someone simply comes across someone that doesn't particularly like or agree with them.

Awful as it tends to trivialise things for those who really do suffer from those things.

Original poster
RozDoyle · 12/09/2017 00:22

I agree with you Worra

OP posts:
Justgivemesomepeace · 12/09/2017 00:22

Roz- they buy bags of frozen onions I think...

Anecdoche · 12/09/2017 00:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WorraLiberty · 12/09/2017 00:22

Ok I was with you until you said it takes you 15 minutes to chop an onion.

Are you using a knife or some sort of martial arts ritual???

Original poster
RozDoyle · 12/09/2017 00:23

I tried frozen onions. They were watery. Also a guy in my work told me they sweep them up off the floor. That may not be true.

OP posts:
Original poster
RozDoyle · 12/09/2017 00:24

15 mins may have been a slight exaggeration but the point is, I can't cook a healthy nutritious meal from scratch, then feed, bath and pyjama two preschoolers in an hour. It does not compute.

OP posts:
Anecdoche · 12/09/2017 00:24

This reply has been deleted

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hiphopcat · 12/09/2017 00:25

I am SO with you @RozDoyle. I would also add that in addition to cooking from scratch, and 'batch cooking,' every second poster on some threads is a very highly paid, very highly educated professional, with 3 university degrees, a cleaner, and a maid, and a gardener. In addition, they are at the top of their career ladder, (on a six figure salary,) or they have their own high flying business. Makes you wonder how they manage to spend so much time posting on the internet really, with their super-busy lifestyles.. Grin

Suffice to say, I take what a lot of women on here say, with a pinch of salt.

I agree also that the gender neutral thing is a load of tosh. It's utterly ludicrous to dress a boy as a girl, and a girl as a boy. You are well on the way to screwing up your kids for life if you do this.

emmyrose2000 · 12/09/2017 00:26

This whole gender neutral thing is bordering on ridiculous now too

Agreed.

Justgivemesomepeace · 12/09/2017 00:26

Maybe get a new knife? Or just stick some fish fingers in.

WorraLiberty · 12/09/2017 00:26

Yes, I suspect some members of staff wank on the onions too.

Never buy frozen unless you're happy to get pregnant by a sweeper upper named Dave.

EamonnWright · 12/09/2017 00:26

People lie a lot on the internet.

Anecdoche · 12/09/2017 00:27

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
RozDoyle · 12/09/2017 00:27

😂

OP posts:
thecatfromjapan · 12/09/2017 00:29

RozDoyle Grin That's a whole other thread - and the fact it would turn into a bunfight these days, rather than a list of quick recipes is kind of telling. I find it interesting (rather than annoying - which, unfortunately, is a bit of a default option at the moment on mn,) that you find it puzzling. Which I say only to demonstrate that different world-views/ways of living exist, and that it's fun to encounter those on mumsnet.

The short answer is that I have a lot of quick meals, I serve salad with most meals (which we eat after the main dish, as mil rather poshly says 'to cleanse the palate' but is in fact to make sure we reach the fruit + veg target and is really quick) and anything that takes longer to cook, such as risotto, I'll cook the night before.

IfNot · 12/09/2017 00:30

I used to work ft but got home at half 5. Dc never went to bed at 7, more like 8, but I'm a fast cook and would come in and start in my coat, have tea ready by 6 ish. I genuinely cook "from scratch " almost every day. Just always have, it's how I was brought up.
Agree about the anxiety thing though, and the way people are about other people's kids. Sometimes I wonder how folk on here ever get through a normal day!

BackforGood · 12/09/2017 00:31

Agree with you that there are a disporportional number of people on here who seem to be extreme in one way or another. I love it though - have always found people watching rather fascinating and this is a bit of an extension of that.
I am always rather surprised by the posters who struggle to believe that just because in their personal circle no-one does (or everyone does) this, that, or the other, then it isn't necessarily the same for the rest of the population.