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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Drug taking

163 replies

FigaroEscargot · 11/09/2017 21:54

I have a friend who I've been friends with for a few years. Recently found out that her husband does drugs as he told me casually in conversation, I don't know if friend takes drugs or not. Aibu to want to end the friendship? We both have young daughters and really despise illegal drug taking of any kind. Professionally , personally and socially I can't be around someone who takes drugs.

OP posts:
StickThatInYourPipe · 11/09/2017 21:56

When you say drugs.. what are you talking about?

MumsOnCrack · 11/09/2017 21:57

Then don't. Or be their friends and keep your distance - they've clearly not done it around you and so I'm not sure if you have your own opinion or maybe just taking on someone else's heresay?!

EamonnWright · 11/09/2017 21:58

You would be very surprised the amount of weekend coke takers you know and would never guess.

Original poster
FigaroEscargot · 11/09/2017 22:00

Ecstasy on 'special occasions' & weed at the weekend.

OP posts:
Original poster
FigaroEscargot · 11/09/2017 22:01

I think the thing is now I do know that's it for me really. I'm really disappointed.

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PollyFlint · 11/09/2017 22:04

If they aren't taking drugs in your presence, I can't really see how it actually affects you.

Also, what sort of drugs? There's quite a difference between, say, the odd bit of weird and a massive crack/smack habit, isn't there?

Ultimately though, it's up to you of course who you're friends with, and you don't have to justify ending a friendship if it makes you uncomfortable.

Alisvolatpropiis · 11/09/2017 22:05

Weed usage doesn't bother me, though it's not something I do. I'm a glass or two of wine sort.

Class A's, especially ones which have a proven record of killing people at random however, that would bother me. Particularly given they are parents.

PollyFlint · 11/09/2017 22:06

Ecstasy on 'special occasions' & weed at the weekend.

Oh. Well, I can pretty much guarantee you that lots of other people you know will also do a bit of weed now and again. It's just that they haven't mentioned it to you.

EamonnWright · 11/09/2017 22:07

Alcohol kills a lot more people than class A drugs.

Original poster
FigaroEscargot · 11/09/2017 22:10

Yeah I understand the levels of drug taking/addiction etc but ultimately it's going to effect their family in some way or another. I don't want to hang around for the fall out of this. I've known a few people close to me who is messed up and I just hate to be around the effects of it.

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Original poster
FigaroEscargot · 11/09/2017 22:10

Who it's messed up

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BoysofMelody · 11/09/2017 22:10

Why does it bother you? Would it bother you if he was a recreational drinker or smoked a cigar at Christmas or on a big night out?

So what if he has a late night spliff after the children have gone upstairs instead of a glass of wine before bed and a pill or two on an occasional big night out instead of a skinfull of lager?

He isn't encouraging or forcing you to do the same.

If you've known him for years and noticed nothing untoward, it is unlikely he's a drug crazes fiend, raiding his kids' moneybox to buy some weed.

Original poster
FigaroEscargot · 11/09/2017 22:15

Let's say my daughter wants a sleepover at theirs? Yes. It would bother me. I want friends I can trust!

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Original poster
FigaroEscargot · 11/09/2017 22:16

I'm not worried about being forced to do the same!

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Original poster
FigaroEscargot · 11/09/2017 22:17

And a pill or two? No I don't want to explain why my daughters friends dad is no longer around!

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Alisvolatpropiis · 11/09/2017 22:19

Eamonn

Statistically more people drink alcohol than do Class A drugs. Not many people die after "just one" glass of wine though, in the same way someone might having "just one" E tablet.

QueenMortificado · 11/09/2017 22:20

No I don't want to explain why my daughter's friend's dad is no longer around!

I guess you'll be cutting all your friends who own cars out of your life as well then?

Unsureandupset · 11/09/2017 22:21

I'd hardly assume a kids sleepover to be a special occasion and if you've no problem with him having a drink at a weekend then it's quite hippocritical to be so against him smoking weed in my opinion.

If someones personal choices, which have no bearing on you cause you to lose trust and end friendships then that's your decision but previous posters are correct, i'd bet you know a lot more people than you think that do such things.

SweetLuck · 11/09/2017 22:23

So what's your question?

MumsOnCrack · 11/09/2017 22:24

If you're really not comfortable with this then get new friends. Lots of people I know do things like this on occasion. If you really aren't happy with it then just stop seeing them.

MumsOnCrack · 11/09/2017 22:24

Or don't let the DC's stay over? Minimise the impact?

Original poster
FigaroEscargot · 11/09/2017 22:27

the problem is I do know now and it has made me judge them. I'm questioning on ending the friendship based on my morals and asking what others think to knowing that friends do drugs.

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Original poster
FigaroEscargot · 11/09/2017 22:28

Yes you could die by getting in a car.

I'd say between taking pills and not taking pills there's a difference statiscally in dying/not dying.

I've quite happily cut out family members to alcohol and drug abuse.

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Original poster
FigaroEscargot · 11/09/2017 22:30

I think that's it, minimise the impact. I'm really withdrawing from them because scared of it going wrong.

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SuperStormborn · 11/09/2017 22:30

i highly doubt they'll be popping pills if your daughter is there