Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Drug taking

163 replies

FigaroEscargot · 11/09/2017 21:54

I have a friend who I've been friends with for a few years. Recently found out that her husband does drugs as he told me casually in conversation, I don't know if friend takes drugs or not. Aibu to want to end the friendship? We both have young daughters and really despise illegal drug taking of any kind. Professionally , personally and socially I can't be around someone who takes drugs.

OP posts:
NashvilleQueen · 11/09/2017 22:31

Well it's illegal which is the bit that would bother me. I'm in the kind of job where having friends or associates who commit criminal offences is not accepted. Also I do find most drugs (as with excess alcohol) turn people into the most incredible bores

AlonsosLeftPinky · 11/09/2017 22:31

I think you're being awfully dramatic.

Horseriding is more dangerous than taking ecstasy.

Mittens1969 · 11/09/2017 22:34

I don't know how I'd feel about this. I'm very wary of drugs myself, so it would shake me a bit if someone I was close to admitted they took them. And I wouldn't want my DDs to have a sleepover at the house of a school friend if that friend's dad was a drug taker.

It's not the same as alcohol either as drugs do happen to be illegal.

Original poster
FigaroEscargot · 11/09/2017 22:35

I'm scared of horses... really.

Yes the job part is a major factor too. Both professionally and personally I can't stand it!

OP posts:
Original poster
FigaroEscargot · 11/09/2017 22:36

A large part of my week is spent safeguarding.

OP posts:
SaucyJack · 11/09/2017 22:40

"Not many people die after "just one" glass of wine though, in the same way someone might having "just one" E tablet."

Not many people die after taking ecstasy either. Certainly not after just one pill.

There are around 50 mdma-related deaths a year in the U.K.

It would actually be a very safe drug if you could guarantee the strength and purity of a pill/wrap of MDMA before taking it.

SweetLuck · 11/09/2017 22:42

A large part of my week is spent safeguarding

Doesn't that involve being able to accurately assess risk?

Original poster
FigaroEscargot · 11/09/2017 22:42

Yeah 50 people a year is reason enough to not to be around people who I know take it.

OP posts:
Ttbb · 11/09/2017 22:44

Oh come off it. Smoking weed and drinking are not the same. Smoking weird is illegal. In order to obtain it you have to know a drug dealer. If you are uncomfortable OP that is your prerogative. I can see where you are coming from. I wouldn't really care that much is my friends were smoking weed proboded that I wasn't around (or we were somewhere where it is legal) but I most definitely wouldn't want people who break the law (for nothing might I add) around my children. YABperfectlyR

Original poster
FigaroEscargot · 11/09/2017 22:44

Yes it does. A parent who takes ecstasy on occasions and smokes weed at weekends is at risk.

OP posts:
SweetLuck · 11/09/2017 22:45

At risk of what? Dying?

WalkanTalk · 11/09/2017 22:45

Heaven forbid. Hmm

Original poster
FigaroEscargot · 11/09/2017 22:48

At risk of what?! Honestly I'm sorry but I can't see how taking ecstasy and smoking weed can be 100% safe 100% of the time for either parents or children.

OP posts:
EamonnWright · 11/09/2017 22:48

This is a piss take obviously.

SweetLuck · 11/09/2017 22:50

Oh my god, are they giving it to the kids Shock

PollyFlint · 11/09/2017 22:54

OP, you asked if YWBU to end the friendship.

Several people have give you reasons why they think that might be a bit much, and your replies make it clear that no argument against ending the friendship is going to be good enough for you.

So I'm not really sure why you've posted a question. You've already made up your mind, you're obviously not going to change it and you're just going to catastrophise in response to any rational argument. What's the point, really?

BoysofMelody · 11/09/2017 22:59

Yeah 50 people a year is reason enough to not to be around people who I know take it.

Or what about the 8,000 odd who die of alcohol related incidents.

Better make sure their friends don't drive or love by a road as nearly 2,000 die in road traffic accidents. And what about suicide - about 6,000 people die that way, so I'd insist on a full family history of both parents to check for any depressive tendencies. Or perhaps to Benin the safe side, forbid her.from making friends with anyone who's father is aged between.20 & 49 as suicide is the biggest killer of that age group.

Be friends or don't be friends with him it is entirely up to you. But to claim that you're doing to protect your daughter is laughable.

Original poster
FigaroEscargot · 11/09/2017 23:01

The point is to get other people's viewpoints and opinions to see if there is anything which I am missing. I don't think there is.

OP posts:
x2boys · 11/09/2017 23:02

I have never taken ecstasy someone I went do school with died in the early 90 s from taking it donut always scared me I have smoked weed in the past you would be surprised how many people do my neighbours sell it if I ever wanted it .

Original poster
FigaroEscargot · 11/09/2017 23:02

No thank you I don't need a full family history, how insulting. I do think that knowing someone makes a choice to take ecstasy as a parent is not for me.

OP posts:
Naughty1205 · 11/09/2017 23:03

I wouldn't be comfortable with this either, I would be disappointed and judge tbh. Yanbu

justanothernameagain · 11/09/2017 23:04

Statistically more people drink alcohol than do Class A drugs. Not many people die after "just one" glass of wine though, in the same way someone might having "just one" E tablet.

It doesn't happen very often though. Alcohol is significantly more dangerous than ecstacy. If you think ecstacy is more dangerous, you're responding to media hype, not evidence.

Merida83 · 11/09/2017 23:06

as much as it may not be popular i agree with you 100% and would also withdraw from the friendship. all your concerns are very valid and i'd feel the same.

SinglePringle · 11/09/2017 23:09

I've no moral issue with anyone taking any drug they see fit. None at all. I can, however, appreciate taking MDMA when in charge of other people's kids is not the best idea. But I'm gathering, from your post OP that isn't the case here. More that they drop a pill once in a blue moon. I'd have no problem with this.

The weed thing? Meh, so he might have a spliff in the same way others might have a glass of wine when the kids (their own and maybe those of others) have gone to bed? Can't say that would bother me in the slightest.

Your '100%' stat seems a little OTT when it comes to weed.

BoysofMelody · 11/09/2017 23:10

No thank you I don't need a full family history, how insulting.

Well you seem fixated on one potential risk that is spectacularly unlikely to cause a fatality, yet ignore far more like ways a child's friend's parents could come to grief.

The only thing you're insulting is everyone's intelligence on this thread.