to not let my DD go on school trip abroad in Y6?

[jobergamot]

DD is 9 and in Y5. Her school does a trip to Spain in Y6 and we have to sign up to it this year as they have to book it so far in advance/save up etc. I don't want her to go. It's because I can't bear the anxiety of anything happening to her and me being so far away. You read so bloody often about school coach trips crashing, I just can't get the thoughts of something awful happening. (I do have general anxiety about my DD dying or something terrible happening). She's shrieked at me that 'all her friends' are going and she'll be the only one left behind.

I'm a single mum, so no one else to bishboshbash this around with.

You should let her go though.

Stick to your guns and stop listening to all these nutters on here!

How about you stop using terms like 'nutters'

teachers are NOT that great on residentials

Also stop with the generalisations.

HTH

Thanks @starutopia; I appreciate your calm and measured feedback. I am a lovely mum. My daughter has loads of opportunities to do stuff to enhance her life. Some posters on here seem quite nonchalant and dismissive of risk.

I'm not checking this thread again so any further comments about what a dreadful person/psycho/neurotic I am will go to waste....

Here was me thinking that parenting was about doing what was best for your child, not what was best for you.

Oh. And I agree with Huffle the teacher. I've been on a couple of residentials myself as a teacher, and believe me (again, different schools) teachers are NOT that great on residentials. A lot of 'turning a blind eye' goes on. I wouldn't send my child abroad without me until she was a lot older.

ODFOD. Don't judge us all by your low standards - just because you personally are crap on residential trips doesn't mean the rest of us are.

And OP - you can kid yourself that you're doing what's best for your DD but basically, you're putting your needs above hers. Good for you.

@StarUtopia you know wales is another country right? They even speak their own language. Beautiful place. I would suggest that you rein in the 'nutters' style comments as it's not helpful to the conversation as a whole. FYI I'm 48 and year 6 trip abroad were on offer when I was 10 (so, a goodly while ago) / this is not modern newfangledness, and telling people that attending teachers are effectively drunk and disinterested in the welfare of the kids in their care is damaging and insulting.

If her DD doesn't want to go, all good. If her DD DOES want to go, unless their is a financial reason, should a parent really impose their own anxieties on a child who wants to take measured chances and explore the world outside their parental restrictions????

Sorry 'there' not 'their'

Oh for goodness sake.

I said 'abroad' was different to being in Wales. Abroad means boarding a plane or a ship to cross water. Last time I checked you didn't need to do either of those to visit Wales.

Who said I was crap on residentials? I merely said there was a lot of turning a blind eye. Did I say anywhere that it was me or did that?

Furthermore, where exactly did I say teachers were drunk on trips? I suggest you may be drunk. I'm actually Welsh speaking so your comment is somewhat hilarious.

In conclusion, I 'm sticking to my verdict of 'nutters'. Your comments are just proving me correct it would appear.

lol @ severe anxiety not being a MH issue. It most certainly is. one I've had to deal with for many years to ensure my kids grow into independent adults. You have to learn to mentally risk assess everything.

It doesn't go away, you have to learn to live with it. My eldest is a firefighter..... every time I know he's on a shout I feel the fear. But I don't beg him not to go, because even though I know bad things can and do happen, I also know the risks are minimal.

At the moment my youngest has severe Glandular Fever and Hepatitis (rare side effect apparently) meaning she has a swollen spleen. This time I'm pulling rank and making her stay home from school because I know if her spleen is knocked in a corridor etc by a bag or elbow, it could rupture. Risk high, I intervene.

Perspective is my friend.

She's your child and it's your decision. I don't think I will be that keen when the time comes. I think it depends on the style of trip and level of support. I went on PGL and similar that are fantastic with lots of staff and support. My cousin went on a French exchange and ended up staying with a screaming alcoholic. My niece just went on a gymnastics camp and their coach abandoned them and there was no other adults! I'm not trying to scaremonger but look carefully at the positives and negatives of the situation and do what you feel is best.

Abroad means boarding a plane or a ship to cross water.

Goodness, so when I went to the Isle of Wight I was going abroad. Likewise when I went to St Michael's Mount at high tide. I never knew.

My my @StarUtopia aren't you just a peach!

Shadowing her won't stop the coach from crashing or anything else bad happening the same week she stays home when all the school mates are away

I wouldn't let them go. We're letting DD go on the year 6 residential in Shropshire in September. I think that is more than enough, absolutely no need for a trip abroad at 10 years of age.

I wonder if the OP let her go in the end?

My daughter went to Spain in year 5 loved it, I was anxious all week. She is going to USA next week Year 9 i’ll be just as anxious, not sure it changes with age!

I would let her go but then book a trip to stay nearby. I'd feel better knowing that I was close. I wouldn't tell her but at least you'll feel better. I don't have anxiety but I wouldn't be happy about my yr 6 child going on a school trip to Spain either!

I’m sorry I think you are all being very unfair. I won’t let DS go on a school trip abroad either, same age, similar reasons. I simply don’t trust other people to look after him. His life is full of new experiences, hobbies, holidays etc. Plus not every child will be going, last time roughly 60-70% went due to cost. Your child, your choice.

Ffs don’t be ‘that’ parent and follow her

I do get it, OP. 9 years old is still very young and the thought of your DD being a long way from home at that age will be scary. But we are talking about something that's happening next year, when she will be 10, a year is a long time in the life of a child.

How soon do you need to decide? You can take the time that you need, possibly talk to the teacher who will be leading the trip, maybe they can reassure you about what the plans are? Will your DD have a phone with her so she can text you regularly?

Our school post things on the school and parents Facebook pages, that helps to keep parents reassured as well.

Sorry, just seen the date of the OP! I wonder what decision she came to in the end.

Why is “abroad” different to The Peak District or Scotland?