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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

They really are taking the piss this time aren't they?!

242 replies

BlueNeighbourhood1 · 11/09/2017 17:07

Following on from someone stealing my badminton racquet, we now have an incident at my new job which started today which I'm really uncomfortable with Angry

So, I started today with another woman. The other woman was meant to start two weeks ago but has now declared herself fit for work (quite apparent she isn't fit for work as the DVLA won't allow her to drive). A part of this role is that we drive to training centre three hours away for the next two weeks.

Today I was collared by a woman I'd known around 35 minutes to say "We thought it'd be fine if I came down and back in your car with you". Well I had to say it was fine as my boss was saying to do it. This woman is loud, obnoxious, talks over the top of you, always has to be one better, and I've learned that in four hours of work today. I do not under any circumstances want to sit and drive her anywhere for three hours (plus the 3 x 20 mile round trips from hotel to training site).

Ive lied and said on Friday I'm going to visit friends so can't bring her back, so she's going to ask for another girl two weeks ahead of us in training to give her rides. She's never even met her!

Also, she's not happy I've told her I like to just listen to Talksport quietly in the car and drive, she wasn't happy. Also not happy when I said I'd been having room service in the evenings as now she apparently has nobody to eat with. NEITHER DO I, but I enjoy it this way. I've got no problem being polite during working hours, but this has been the first day at work from hell. She's my complete opposite personality wise and not someone I could ever have more than a standard working relationship with.

AIBU to think she shouldn't have started work until she was able to drive, and also that I shouldn't be cajoled into giving her rides or being her evening entertainment?

OP posts:
TheDayIBroke · 13/09/2017 11:17

YANBU at all. I would be so pissed off at being hoodwinked into giving the company chatterbox a lift when she can actually drive and is being lazy.

YANBU. YANBU. YANBU.

And get your badminton racquet back! Flowers

Original poster
BlueNeighbourhood1 · 13/09/2017 11:31

I actually have came on to update you all. So this morning I picked her up and she told me how she's invited her ex to the hotel for the next two nights as he apparently lives local to here. Turns out he had an affair with her, has gone back to his wife and is now going to cheat again with her the next two nights. She's also been married four times, she said she wanted to get that out there so everyone knew.

I know more irrelevant shit about this woman in two and a bit days than I do my own DP. I don't understand why someone is so open about things which quite frankly are just not cool.

OP posts:
LurkingHusband · 13/09/2017 11:48

(sort of mischievously mixing threads here)

Can't you now say your religion prevents you from associating with adulterers ? ... I'm sure you can find one which does ?

SunshineLollipopsRainbows25 · 13/09/2017 12:06

omg I'd say "oh right that's so snide, don't you feel bad?" then after her reply say "I'd never do that that's awful" then walk off, make her feel awkward

LurkingHusband · 13/09/2017 12:07

omg I'd say "oh right that's so snide, don't you feel bad?" then after her reply say "I'd never do that that's awful" then walk off, make her feel awkward

From the gist of the OPs description, I don't thing this person does "awkward".

LurkingHusband · 13/09/2017 12:07

*think ...

landgirl1 · 13/09/2017 12:13

Dont forget you are allowed an extra 5p per mile for passengers
HTH

Panda59 · 13/09/2017 12:22

personally I would just say I'd prefer to go on my own in future. as far as I'm concerned I wouldn't feel any obligation to her. I don't like being put on. or is ask her to pay all of next week's petrol etc and a bit for me too for my bother/ help. that will put her off

FlyingGiraffeBox · 13/09/2017 15:55

Wow. She really is a peach isn't she? So, within one week of starting her new job, she's lied to her boss about not being able to drive, and is using the hotel room paid for with company money to shag a married man?

I don't think you'll have to deal with her that much longer Blue. She sounds a nightmare of an employee! And not exactly discreet about it. Wait it out and I think she'll turn out to be her own worst enemy.

Jux · 13/09/2017 15:56

If it won't impact on your job, tell her you're a born again Christian and you can't have a scarlet woman in your car, so you won't be able to drive her to and from the hotel any more. Presumably her lover can do it or she can take a taxi.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 13/09/2017 16:35

Oh Gawd will she describe in detail her nights of passion with married ex in the car?

Her life sounds disastrous, there's something off with her judgement of situations.

She must have some sort of personality disorder? Lack of conscience, deceitful, disregard of other's feelings, impulsive, conning others for profit or pleasure, not conforming to social ettiquette.. Those are the characteristics of a sociopath.

Jux · 13/09/2017 18:19

She probably will describe them, ILostIt. Ime, people as desperate for attention as she, will 'share' ever more widely and more deeply in an ever-increasing effort to convince themselves that people are paying attention, even as people pay less and less attention.

Hence poor op being subjected to so much over-sharing in the car.

Next journey, as soon as she gets in, remind her of your original rule - no talking - and this time be brutal. Every time she opens her mouth, takes a breath in, shush her loudly and firmly.

You really really really don't want a blow by blow account of her nightly activies.

Jux · 13/09/2017 18:20

You could pretend you have a hangover, if it'll make it easier Grin
If she chooses to share that with people deny it and wink. They'll all know why you couldn't tolerate the noise.

Original poster
BlueNeighbourhood1 · 13/09/2017 19:04

My morning commute is my time, for years I've used the journey to listen to the radio and catch up on my thoughts and I despise that all of this is being taken away from me - the only way to escape is to be in my room!

Anyway it's over with now, the flirting on her part has began with the older area managers, the cackle of a laugh is still there and I'm sure she will get on fine, but not around me.

Oh and she said today, that the DVLA cannot allow her to drive, the doctor has to give it the okay? Surely the doctor sends the notes to them and the DVLA make a decision? She convenitenly left the room during the call at several points - probably when telling her it was fine to drive!

Finally, and this is the ultimate one today. The girl driving her home on Friday is doing 8am-12pm so she can get home earlier. So now she's basically asked the boss if she could do those hours - said yes, and then asked if I could without my knowledge so that I could take her to work for 8am on Friday! Now that is ridiculous. I liked going to work for 9am, and if that doesn't prove I'm nothing more than a taxi service to fit around her life I don't know what is!

OP posts:
kaitlinktm · 13/09/2017 19:14

So she changed your Friday hours without asking you for her own convenience? Shock Surely the manager wouldn't agree to that without checking with you first? I hope you told her where to get off - the cheeky, entitled cow!

Original poster
BlueNeighbourhood1 · 13/09/2017 19:23

She did indeed. To the managers credit he's said as long as people do their work he isn't bothered about their working hours - which I'm sure will help me out later on in my career here.

So I couldn't really say no as I'd just come across as awful and doing it on purpose. But this is the whole reason everyone should be in a separate car. I don't understand how she's going to start travelling to her sites in a couple of weeks.

OP posts:
ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 13/09/2017 19:30

Unfortunately people like this can be very successful in their job. Simply because they don't care whose toes they tread on getting what they want. They will lie, back stab, pull out sob stories or sleep their way to the top and think the world owes them a favour along the way. Sad

You need to distance yourself from this woman as much as possible. There's care sharing and there's taking the piss.

kaitlinktm · 13/09/2017 19:36

But did you tell her that you were annoyed about her asking them to change your hours without asking you? I don't know your circumtstances or if you have children etc, but how did she know that you didn't have childcare/dogsitters whatever arranged for those hours or other commitments?

Really I am aghast - how fucking dare she? How is she getting away with this?

RunRabbitRunRabbit · 13/09/2017 22:02

You aren't going to drive her on Friday are you?

Appuskidu · 13/09/2017 22:06

So, you're agreeing to take her again?! I wouldn't! Presumably the other person has changed their working hours to avoid her??

Appuskidu · 13/09/2017 22:06

I don't understand how she's going to start travelling to her sites in a couple of weeks.

Have you asked her?

WhatchaMaCalllit · 13/09/2017 22:13

If your manager has said that so long as the work gets done he isn't fussed about when you arrive in work to do it, then there is your get out of jail card.
Approach your manager and say that after reviewing the new proposed start time it doesn't suit you to go in at 8am (so that CF colleague can get a lift from you) for personal reasons, so you will continue to work the pre-arranged 9am to whatever time you're due to finish on a daily basis and as they have already said, they don't mind what time you start at, this is what you'll be doing.
Stick to your guns on this one and don't give up your 'me time' just so this CF colleague can cadge a lift from you.

LakieLady · 13/09/2017 22:17

That woman is one cheeky fucker. Watch out, or she'll be parking in your drive!

Jux · 13/09/2017 22:52

Oh please op, just say that starting at 9 is what you've arranged because that's what suits you and you've no with to change. JUST TELL HER NO. Fgs, op!

Jux · 13/09/2017 23:00

What WhatchaMaCallIt said.

Can you and one of the others be standing near enough to the boss for him to hear you mention about her having admitted to you about being able to drive, and that this has made you unwilling to have much to do with her outside work hours. You feel taken advantage of and manipulated and you don't like having to share your private personal space with such a glib liar.

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