They really are taking the piss this time aren't they?!

[BlueNeighbourhood1]

Following on from someone stealing my badminton racquet, we now have an incident at my new job which started today which I'm really uncomfortable with

So, I started today with another woman. The other woman was meant to start two weeks ago but has now declared herself fit for work (quite apparent she isn't fit for work as the DVLA won't allow her to drive). A part of this role is that we drive to training centre three hours away for the next two weeks.

Today I was collared by a woman I'd known around 35 minutes to say "We thought it'd be fine if I came down and back in your car with you". Well I had to say it was fine as my boss was saying to do it. This woman is loud, obnoxious, talks over the top of you, always has to be one better, and I've learned that in four hours of work today. I do not under any circumstances want to sit and drive her anywhere for three hours (plus the 3 x 20 mile round trips from hotel to training site).

Ive lied and said on Friday I'm going to visit friends so can't bring her back, so she's going to ask for another girl two weeks ahead of us in training to give her rides. She's never even met her!

Also, she's not happy I've told her I like to just listen to Talksport quietly in the car and drive, she wasn't happy. Also not happy when I said I'd been having room service in the evenings as now she apparently has nobody to eat with. NEITHER DO I, but I enjoy it this way. I've got no problem being polite during working hours, but this has been the first day at work from hell. She's my complete opposite personality wise and not someone I could ever have more than a standard working relationship with.

AIBU to think she shouldn't have started work until she was able to drive, and also that I shouldn't be cajoled into giving her rides or being her evening entertainment?

This phrase might be useful on the journey:

"I'm really so sorry but I always worry crashing if I talk whilst I'm driving, Talk Sport helps me concentrate as long as I can hear it".

YANBU. She sounds like a bully to be honest. Stick to your guns and don't accept her trying to manipulate you. If you allowed her to treat you this way from the beginning, she will not be likely to consider changing her attitude or approach to you in future.

You're handling it really well, I admire that. Love the car rule!

Is it go to hotel 3hrs away, for the week, and lifts to training place andback every day, so there are two 3hr journeys and the rest are short? Is it only this week, or is it for a few weeks?

Why on earth can she not get a train, then taxi to the hotel once a week and then get the train back? Is this so she, or your company, can save the cost of the train? Ridiculously overpriced though the trains are, this woman and your employer Should not be using you to save the cost without some form of remuneration, imo.

That's exactly it! Driving is my headspace and I don't want it interrupted.

When I visit DP who is at the other side of the country I drive rather than train as it's my thinking time. I've already told this woman if she wants to listen to music to bring headphones as I won't be putting any on, at this point she said how much she loves sports and is happy to listen to Talksport?!

I'm trying to put myself in her position as it can't be nice relying on someone but she must be doing it to avoid paying for the train or something as we have to claim all expenses back. Oh and she bloody drove to work this morning!

It's literally just this one three hour journey tomorrow, I've already said that I'm visiting DP on Friday night (I'm not) so I can drive home in peace

Make sure you claim passenger allowance for having her in the car.....

Hang on- she drove into work?! Cheeky mare. How about going to your boss and brightly saying 'I see X is back in the driving seat! I take it me driving her around is no longer necessary?'

Apparently she can't drive long distances. I mean it was visible to anyone I was completely uncomfortable win the situation I was put in, and she seemed to lack self awareness to the extent she didn't even realise. So weird.

So I do it this once then that's it - never again

Hmm. I'd wonder if she was legal to drive at all in that case. Bit worrying.

I've never heard of the DVLA barring you from driving long distances. You're either fit to drive or not.

So is she meeting you tomorrow to get a lift there? Just say she wasn't there on time and go without her. Or go down the insurance route and say your car isn't insured for business use. She can get an Uber and claim the cost back! Both she and your boss are cheeky!

I can tell you, absolutely, that DVLA has two options- fit to drive (have licence) or not (lose/relinquish licence). A doctor may have said no long distance driving, but not the DVLA.

Either that or she's been nabbed by the 5-0 and doesn't want to risk the 3 hour journey in case she gets pulled over with no licence/insurance etc but thinks she'll be ok to work and back.

It sounds like you are claiming expenses back in which case it is reasonable for employees to travel together rather than the employer having to fund a rail fare as well. However, for expenses to be paid at normal mileage rate you should have the correct insurance otherwise you both need to travel by public transport.

As regards picking her up it would be unreasonable to pick her up from home but not unreasonable to pick her up from your work place ( or somewhere convenient to both of you by arrangement. A workplace would not usually pay expenses to travel to your place of work, so if travelling to her house would be more mileage than setting off from the workplace , she needs to get to that.

Your evenings are yours, so no obligation for you to eat with her unless you are obliged to eat some meals as a group activity. This can happen on training courses.

As far as the radio is concerned that is a matter for negotiations- the driver doesn't always win but I fear your attitude is already clouded by the fact you have to give her a lift.

The only reason I didn't say no was because this is my first day in a new job - I didn't want to cause trouble and have had to put my own happiness aside to keep the company happy.

I don't have relevant insurance to transport her, and I don't want to transport her. She shouldn't have started this job until she was fit to drive as a big part of the role is driving from site to site. There is nothing stopping her getting the train other than seeing me as a reason not to have to claim train fares back.

Bear in mind I don't have a brand new car, I have a 57 plate old one that's two months from it's MOT, but it's comfortable and mine and I shouldn't have someone else forced upon me to save the company money. If she's fit to work she is fit to drive in my opinion, she's blatantly looking for a free way out of everything.

I forever have the piss took out of me with stuff like this, my badminton racquet because I never stand up for myself. Why should I drive 12 miles north and back to collect her when she can get a train?! It's just a piss take. And not a very good first impression of the company.

You can still refuse though. Forget to pick her up! Or say you've decided to go on the train so you can do some reading re the new job? You don't have to let people walk all over you.

I can tell you, absolutely, that DVLA has two options- fit to drive (have licence) or not (lose/relinquish licence). A doctor may have said no long distance driving, but not the DVLA.

Absolutely this. Was it your boss told asked you to do this? I would definitely mention how poorly this has been managed. She should just get on the train like any normal person.

I'd go nuts, 3 hours in a car with a stranger would be my idea of hell. Poor you.

I'd 'forget' or say you assumed she was fine to drive since you've seen her drive into work...

If you don't have insurance you have 2 options which may not be possible to sort until tomorrow but then again work may be at fault. If the job involves some travelling then presumably before you started you knew that either you were going to have to drive your own car or use a pool car. What arrangements have already been made. It is standard practice for offices to check insurance details before allowing staff to drive for work purposes. Travelling to a training centre i.e. not your usual,place of work is driving for work purposes. It's not clear who is at fault here your work for not doing the checks or you for not organising your insurance.
You may find you both need to go on the train tomorrow!

Secondly unless driving is a necessary part of the job e.g. Bus driver, taxi driver etc a temporarily or permanently being unable to drive due to medical reasons is not a reason to disallow someone from a role if they meet the other criteria.
E.g. An ecologist needs to be able to travel, they are employed due to their ecological knowledge not their driving skills bit suptill might need to travel to do their work . A tax driver is being employed because they can drive.

Sorry OP but if the work is paying expenses then you do not have the luxury of deciding who you travel with.
However if on the other hand you are having to pay your own way to get there that is a different matter.

. If she's fit to work she is fit to drive in my opinion, she's blatantly looking for a free way out of everything.

I am afraid what counts in this case is her doctors opinion and the office's OH ( which must have been involved at pre appointment medical stage. )

Both of you are getting a free passage to the training. You said you are claiming expenses.

A couple of questions and observations...
Are you travelling up in working time?
Are you being paid a mileage rate that includes wear and tear on your car is .45p pm
Are you expected to use your own vehicle travelling from site to site in the course of your normal working activities?
Are you sure that th new colleague wasn't told to ask by the company to arrange to car share with you and just didn't manage the conversation very well.

Do you know what the company policy is on company travel....do they always need to find the most cost effective way or just the most convenient.

My main observation is that if this was my business and I was sending two employees from the same area on a training course that I was funding a 3 hour journey from base I would think it only fair and reasonable for some sort of car sharing to be agreed, especially if I was paying a reasonable mileage rate. I would suggest that this hasn't being managed very well but I don't think it is at all unreasonable to expect to keep costs down.

2bees that's nonsense. No company can force anyone to use their own car to transport work colleagues. Expenses or no expenses.

Unless you are two "chalk and cheese" cops from a bad 70s sitcom/detective series and your "hilariously different takes on the world" will lead to you becoming best buds, YANBU.

Whore no not nonsense, see nyorksyo post above .pou more eloquently than I could

And put more eloquently too ! Sorry for the bad typing.