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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

They really are taking the piss this time aren't they?!

242 replies

BlueNeighbourhood1 · 11/09/2017 17:07

Following on from someone stealing my badminton racquet, we now have an incident at my new job which started today which I'm really uncomfortable with

So, I started today with another woman. The other woman was meant to start two weeks ago but has now declared herself fit for work (quite apparent she isn't fit for work as the DVLA won't allow her to drive). A part of this role is that we drive to training centre three hours away for the next two weeks.

Today I was collared by a woman I'd known around 35 minutes to say "We thought it'd be fine if I came down and back in your car with you". Well I had to say it was fine as my boss was saying to do it. This woman is loud, obnoxious, talks over the top of you, always has to be one better, and I've learned that in four hours of work today. I do not under any circumstances want to sit and drive her anywhere for three hours (plus the 3 x 20 mile round trips from hotel to training site).

Ive lied and said on Friday I'm going to visit friends so can't bring her back, so she's going to ask for another girl two weeks ahead of us in training to give her rides. She's never even met her!

Also, she's not happy I've told her I like to just listen to Talksport quietly in the car and drive, she wasn't happy. Also not happy when I said I'd been having room service in the evenings as now she apparently has nobody to eat with. NEITHER DO I, but I enjoy it this way. I've got no problem being polite during working hours, but this has been the first day at work from hell. She's my complete opposite personality wise and not someone I could ever have more than a standard working relationship with.

AIBU to think she shouldn't have started work until she was able to drive, and also that I shouldn't be cajoled into giving her rides or being her evening entertainment?

OP posts:

WhatchaMaCalllit · 15/09/2017 09:44

Stop being her taxi. There are people who are paid to do the ferrying of people from point A to B and they are called taxi drivers. If she needs a lift, and you don't want to do it, tell her to get a taxi and claim it back when she gets back into the office.
This and the badminton racquet.
There is being obliging and then there is being a wuss. I had sympathy for you OP at the start of these issues but my sympathy is wearing thin at this point (as I'm sure your tolerance of CF colleague is too), so time to woman up and take command of the situations you find yourself in.

Original poster

BlueNeighbourhood1 · 15/09/2017 10:03

I've got mg racquet back!! Forgot that one, my friend messaged last night to say she has it. So that's all sorted. One text message from me to the woman who had it saying I needed it back as it's not a child's racquet and not anything to do with me with her other issues - it's been returned.

Ive made it clear to my Manager I'm working 9-5 next week and also can't drive her anywhere. I've told him I'm not comfortable with the distraction in the car and also that I'm uncomfortable with the way she has conducted herself this week. He's appreciated my thoughts on it and will make sure it doesn't happen again.

The other girl has also brought it up too and I think they're going to be asking her to take the train in future until she drives again. Which should prompt her to start driving again.

OP posts:

LurkingHusband · 15/09/2017 10:24

I had to tell her not to eat a hot sandwich in my car and that I'm not driving ten miles back to the hotel as she's left something

just wait until she starts telling you how to drive and that maybe you should fill up with fuel before collecting her, so she can get some more work done ...

I'm still sensing this thread could edge into classics ...

FlyingGiraffeBox · 15/09/2017 10:35

Blue Well done! Awesome news, good for you on all fronts.

Sweetpea55 · 15/09/2017 11:33

I think its pretty awful of your boss to volunteer you to give her lifts. Of course if your boss is male...well... we all know what men are like so maybe he didn't think...or thought it was a good idea as you are going anyway,

MipMipMip · 15/09/2017 12:15

According to the BBC she owes you ear rent for her incessant chattering!

Hope it works out, have a good weekend and turn her into a funny story. And well done on getting your racquet back.

Gemini69 · 15/09/2017 16:33

Acht WELL DONE OP .... I knew you had it in you

Original poster

BlueNeighbourhood1 · 15/09/2017 16:47

I did get a great guilt trip in this morning.

Everyone knew how much I wanted to watch the football last night, I'd planned to go to the game but was too tired by the time work finished. So this morning I said "I could've done with that extra hour this morning to get ready because of the football being delayed"

And she said nothing. She did start faffing complaining of a bad back when lifting her suitcase into my car this morning but I ignored her as she obviously wanted me to help. That was when I told her not to eat the sandwich. And then to regain control started about something being in the hotel room and I told her she would have to get a taxi to go back and get it. Funny how she found it straight away after!

Poor girl having that whole drive back with her! I think I would've screamed. I honestly don't think she will last in the job very long, she's struggling with the most basic of things and I can't believe she isn't grasping it.

So we'll see what happens next week but I do think contact will be absolutely minimal, I've started ignoring her stories now in the office so everyone else can listen and I just crack on.

Petty yes, but God I feel better for it

OP posts:

Gemini69 · 15/09/2017 17:07

Good for you.... people like this suck the life out of good and decent people..

Cupoteap · 16/09/2017 05:48

Well done you made it to end without killing yourself or her

user327854831 · 16/09/2017 06:28

Surely you aren't insured to take a business colleague? My car insurance covers me for domestic journeys and travelling to my job; it doesn't cover me for taking a colleague with me unless I pay extra for business use.

user327854831 · 16/09/2017 06:31

OP have a look at this - www.gocompare.com/car-insurance/insuring-your-car-for-work-use/

Hortonlovesahoo · 16/09/2017 06:44

User: OP already said that she's got business insurance for her car but her employer didn't know that.

user327854831 · 16/09/2017 06:56

Yes, but according to the link not all insurers include lift sharing in their business insurance.

Motoko · 16/09/2017 16:11

Bit late now though.

Original poster

BlueNeighbourhood1 · 21/10/2017 21:21

So guys - seven weeks on and here I am. I love a little update so here goes.

There's three of us doing this new job - she quickly latched onto the other new girl when she sensed I wasn't too keen on the lifts. Poor other new girl has been giving her lifts for the past seven weeks bless her - she struggles. We have regular conversations around it. Also, this woman insists doctors tell her she can drive short distances but not long so basically gets the girl to change her schedule to suit her.

It all came out about three weeks ago and as horrible as it is me and the other girl notice it more. When we are together she shows a lot of awful personality traits, talks about herself a lot, constantly about men she finds attractive. This week she's told my friend she persuaded a branch manager to give her a lift to the hotel she could try and seduce him. Didn't work out obviously! She turns every conversation into one about herself, everytime me and my new friend at work talk about football she interrupts with how rubbish it is but isn't x player sexy. Also had the other new girl sat having dinner every night with her, then ditching her and cracking onto men until the early hours in hotel bars. It's all just attention seeking because we hear about it all the next day.

If you have a problem she has one a million times worse and interrupts to make sure everyone knows her problem is most important. Gosh I could go on for hours. It's not a nice environment to work within!

Anyway so now I stay away from her. Keep contact to a minimum as I'm not interested in her men she finds attractive stories, and wherever she is I make sure I'm not as she just winds me up and it's unproductive in my role. By the end we both think that she's tragic, probably very lonely and has no off switch or know when to draw things to a close.

So yes she did get worse but fortunately transferred it onto someone else instead of me! Now I'm barely even in the same town as her thank goodness, and she's never had a lift from me in weeks.

OP posts:

Motoko · 21/10/2017 23:06

Thanks for the update. God she sounds awful! I feel sorry for the poor girl she's latched on to.

Perhaps you could give the girl some pointers in how to get away from this woman.

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