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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my husband is trying to have an affair

234 replies

sad9999 · 10/09/2017 23:23

A year ago my husband went to a conference and bought another woman a necklace. It was an infinity necklace witha diamond. She returned it to him with a note saying it was inappropriate. The package was given to me by his secretary as he was away and I deal with all his post when he is away from work.

I confronted him and he claimed it was innocence. It is out of character for him to buy gifts for any one i do all the buying he can't be bothered.

He is at the same conference again and has been really horrible since last year. Refusing to help lots of digs at me undermining me in front of the kids. Really glad to see him leave. Just been on the laptop and a message from her popped up please don't complicate things I can't see him tomorrow night !

OP posts:
Original poster
sad9999 · 01/10/2017 18:21

Yes he is better off. He want 50 50 time with the kids. That is a non starters I want more than 50 50

OP posts:
expatmigrant · 01/10/2017 18:35

Will he really want 50/50 though went comes to the crunch? You need to find yourself a SHL next week to make sure you get the better of him.

Original poster
sad9999 · 01/10/2017 18:40

He would because he owns everything and wants to spite me

OP posts:
Neverknowing · 01/10/2017 19:21

How can he have 50/50 if he's away all the time op? I would probably call his bluff but definitely talk to your solicitor about all of this.
Honestly that amount of money would be worth it for me to be rid of him but it'd never be enough to give that monster 50/50 with the kids. I have a feeling from what you're saying that he's only wanting 50/50 to keep control of you and them.

flutterby12 · 01/10/2017 19:32

Don't agree to anything. Definitely go through the solicitor. Report the assault to the police so you have a record and a crime reference no.

Original poster
sad9999 · 01/10/2017 19:38

Aparently he would have more time at other times !!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
sad9999 · 01/10/2017 20:58

Currently buying the kids presents. Give me strength...

OP posts:
Original poster
sad9999 · 01/10/2017 20:58

He is buying not me !!!

OP posts:
BewareOfDragons · 01/10/2017 21:24

Don't agree to anything without talking to your solicitor.

To the poster that said £500k sounds fair, you have no idea if that's fair. If he has £1mil, it might be. If he has £10m socked away, it's not.

Original poster
sad9999 · 01/10/2017 22:11

I won't don't worry

OP posts:
Original poster
sad9999 · 02/10/2017 10:22

Think he is panicking now lots of texts. .

OP posts:
Jedimum1 · 02/10/2017 10:47

Stay strong and focused Flowers

ADayGivingMeHope · 02/10/2017 11:10

What kind of texts?
Hope your ok! 😬

Original poster
sad9999 · 02/10/2017 11:12

I am sorry please talk to ne texts

OP posts:
BitOutOfPractice · 02/10/2017 11:22

Oh how I would be enjoying his panic! What an utter tosser he is. Don't be aken in by his texts. Even without the (attempted?) affair he's a vile, abusive bully. Divorce him!

C0untDucku1a · 02/10/2017 11:23

Dont talk to him. Text or email only. Evidence.

Gemini69 · 02/10/2017 11:29

your strength is growing OP... this is evident in your posts... well done Flowers

Original poster
sad9999 · 02/10/2017 16:20

Not sure strength is growing. Just feel very relieved decision is made

OP posts:
ohamIreally · 03/10/2017 20:28

I've been thinking about you OP. You mentioned he has 'offered' you £500,000 to go quietly. What's wrong about this scenario? The fact that he thinks it's his to offer! All your property is joint and you own half. Don't forget the value of his pension when coming to an agreement. If he hides assets then you will be entitled to go back for more after the divorce so do disabuse him of this if this is what he's thinking. Also he may want the kids 50/50 because he's aware he won't have to pay maintenance.

Original poster
sad9999 · 04/10/2017 09:28

Told him I accept his offer called his bluff. He backtracked and now doesn't want to spilt up !!!!

OP posts:
Motoko · 04/10/2017 12:26

So, do you have an appointment with a solicitor yet?

ohamIreally · 04/10/2017 15:24

Well done Sad - I'm assuming you just said that to get the ball rolling? Until the ink is on the financial order it's not a done deal. How funny that he's backtracking.

BewareOfDragons · 04/10/2017 16:10

He's lost what he perceives as his control over you when you called his bluff. Well done. Good luck getting him out.

Original poster
sad9999 · 04/10/2017 16:17

Told him I going away this weekend. He said don't I won't cope.

OP posts:
DartmoorDoughnut · 04/10/2017 16:21

He probably won't but fuck him, plus it'll do the kids good to realise how awesome you are