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Original poster

To think my husband is trying to have an affair

234 replies

sad9999 · 10/09/2017 23:23

A year ago my husband went to a conference and bought another woman a necklace. It was an infinity necklace witha diamond. She returned it to him with a note saying it was inappropriate. The package was given to me by his secretary as he was away and I deal with all his post when he is away from work.

I confronted him and he claimed it was innocence. It is out of character for him to buy gifts for any one i do all the buying he can't be bothered.

He is at the same conference again and has been really horrible since last year. Refusing to help lots of digs at me undermining me in front of the kids. Really glad to see him leave. Just been on the laptop and a message from her popped up please don't complicate things I can't see him tomorrow night !

OP posts:
MamaDeeGee · 11/09/2017 00:34

Sorry for what your going through he sounds like a total slimeball, and im sorry your children are following suit with the name calling i hope you get sorted and find peace after this mess is sorted out! You are worth so much more

Original poster
sad9999 · 11/09/2017 01:13

He is coming across as desperate. utter twat she is not interested and he is trying his best to make it all friendship. Going to play the long game as he is a slimy and very controlling so will gather evidence first. Just texted him askingw here the safe keys are. Normal pattern would be him to ignore anything he doesnt want to deal with

OP posts:
steff13 · 11/09/2017 01:15

Ew, not only is he attempting infidelity ... he's doing it with a woman who is not interested and he sounds like a pushy stalker ... id run away.

This. It sounds like they're in a FWB relationship and he wants more, or they're just friends, and he wants more. Id kick him out.

PumpernickleInaWarehouse · 11/09/2017 04:05

Did he reply abput the keys? Will he not beco.e suspicious something is wrong if you ask for the keys ?

Out2pasture · 11/09/2017 04:17

whst do you need that is in the safe?

Piewraith · 11/09/2017 05:09

Not only is he trying to have affair but he's hassling some poor women who wants nothing to do with him. How awful.

shakingmyhead1 · 11/09/2017 05:31

i know its hard but read this again and think about doing as york has suggested, even if you dont act get the evidence locked away and get yourself a financial back stop so once you decide you have had enough... and it will happen, you can walk away

yorkshireyummymummy

Now why would he Take all of the safe keys with him? Is there something in there he does not want you to see or does he not want you getting into your possession whatever it is you keep in there?? It's all very odd.
But try to look at this rationally. You have got an advantage at the moment as you have read his emails and know what is going on. Print off the emails and anything else you can find. Do you have access to bank accounts? If you do I would move every penny you can get your hands on into your name only. How long is he away for? I would be going to see a solicitor pronto to get some advice AND I would be contacting a locksmith and getting that bloody safe open.
He has obviously checked out emotionally. It's not going to be easy on the kids but hey, there's never a good time for a split/ divorce is there? I'm assuming that you have realised that the chances are that this marriage is as good as over? You need to be strong and protect yourself and your kids financially as much as you can. I know I sound harsh but there's no point sitting crying into a bottle of Pinot - you will have time for that later. Now, you need to get to the angry stage. Like burberry posted, life really really is too short to be with someone who does not love you and who is behaving like a knob. Buying another woman jewelry??!! He would have had his ' crown jewels' bloody well mashed if he had done that to me. Good luck sweetheart, stay strong.

araiwa · 11/09/2017 06:04

Doesnt sound like he want an affair

Sounds like he wants to dump you and get with another woman

Sanoffyhighstepson · 11/09/2017 06:36

Copy all the evidence you can, claw as much money together as possible, then run. Let your DH deal with the kids....get a solicitor. A quick lesson in manners is needed for your family. Nice B+B is needed for you.

Original poster
sad9999 · 11/09/2017 07:24

Currently ignoring my texts wonder what he is up to !!

OP posts:
icelollycraving · 11/09/2017 07:51

I'd guess he's not up to much,although he's tried. Creepy fucker. How humiliating to have been given that necklace by his PA. Relationships may be a better place for this thread.

Mittens1969 · 11/09/2017 08:24

He really does sound creepy, like he's stalking this other woman. I would agree with PPs that you should consult a solicitor to protect your interests. Your DCs will cope, there's never a good time to divorce.

WashingMatilda · 11/09/2017 17:21

Ugh this man sounds vile. I worked with a guy like this and honestly he really embarrassed himself by the end, it was mortifying.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Please do what PP's have said and have everything lined up ready. Your children are mimicking his behaviour towards you and it is disgusting. Good luck Flowers

Original poster
sad9999 · 14/09/2017 21:09

Bastard is back. OW didn't want to meet him far a chat as didn't want to make things complicated. This was in an email not sure what to make of that

OP posts:
Original poster
sad9999 · 14/09/2017 21:11

He then offered her some work and she said yes. He then replied good girl will talk soon....

OP posts:
Original poster
sad9999 · 14/09/2017 21:11

Need to get on his phone

OP posts:
sickofnickelodeon · 14/09/2017 21:18

Op ask to get this moved to the relationships board. Lots of experienced posters can help you get your ducks in a row.Flowers

troodiedoo · 14/09/2017 21:18

You have all the proof you need. Start fighting back and get your shit together.

Conferences are rife with ceos thinking every woman owes them sex. Urgh.

Original poster
sad9999 · 14/09/2017 21:21

He goes away again in a month

OP posts:
Princesspinkgirl · 14/09/2017 21:24

End it

Original poster
sad9999 · 14/09/2017 21:26

I wish he would just disappear

OP posts:
TheDodgyEnd · 14/09/2017 21:32

Are you going to leave him @sad9999 ?

Original poster
sad9999 · 14/09/2017 21:34

Last year I asked him to move out ! He refused

OP posts:
CatsRidingRollercoasters · 14/09/2017 21:39

How's it going OP? Have you managed to get a look at his phone yet?

Ttbb · 14/09/2017 21:39

Good news is that you have plenty of time to get your ducks in a row!

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