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Original poster

To think my husband is trying to have an affair

234 replies

sad9999 · 10/09/2017 23:23

A year ago my husband went to a conference and bought another woman a necklace. It was an infinity necklace witha diamond. She returned it to him with a note saying it was inappropriate. The package was given to me by his secretary as he was away and I deal with all his post when he is away from work.

I confronted him and he claimed it was innocence. It is out of character for him to buy gifts for any one i do all the buying he can't be bothered.

He is at the same conference again and has been really horrible since last year. Refusing to help lots of digs at me undermining me in front of the kids. Really glad to see him leave. Just been on the laptop and a message from her popped up please don't complicate things I can't see him tomorrow night !

OP posts:
Mumof41987 · 14/09/2017 21:40

Have U asked about the keys ?

Original poster
sad9999 · 14/09/2017 21:42

No he is being very protective of his phone ! Takes it to the toilet...

OP posts:
Original poster
sad9999 · 14/09/2017 21:42

Apparently I don't need keys !!

OP posts:
YellowFlower201 · 14/09/2017 21:48

Why do you need to get into his phone? I appreciate this is very difficult and you must be terribly upset but you'd be better off spending your energy on sorting yourself out financially and getting legal advice.

Original poster
sad9999 · 14/09/2017 21:49

I need to know exactly what has gone on

OP posts:
SusanTheGentle · 14/09/2017 21:50

Get over to Relationships and let them help you leave him. Start squirrelling away as much money as you can lay your hands on, too. Utter bastard, I'm sorry.

VeryCunningStunt · 14/09/2017 21:51

Did you post about this at the time you found out about the gift?

I remember that thread too.

MrLovebucket · 14/09/2017 21:55

That poor woman, he's been pursuing her for at least a year despite her rejections. Sounds like he's a bit obsessed with her. I feel very sorry for her, must be a nightmare having to work with him Sad

Change the locks before he gets home.

allinclusive · 14/09/2017 21:56

Find the keys!!!

Autumnskiesarelovely · 14/09/2017 21:57

Oh my you poor thing, he's horrible. Funny though that he is desperately trying to woo someone and getting it thrown back in his face, serves him right the horrible person.

You know I don't usually ever say LTB, but LTB and get your family back in some sort of shape. You are now raising boys to take after him, when you could be raising boys who love you forever and will be lovely to you. You do know that, don't you?

Jb291 · 14/09/2017 21:59

I would be ripping the house apart to lay my hands on all of the financial / property etc documents that I could find and then popping down to the solicitors to file for an immediate divorce. Suggest you start getting ducks into a row, ready to take the perverted bastard to the cleaners. I would also be looking to sell the necklace if you can get your hands on it.

OlderGolder · 14/09/2017 22:00

He has checked out for sure. You couldn't even call the woman an ''other'' woman as she doesn't even want to talk to him. She returns gifts. He sounds infatuated with her and she is stopping just this short of telling him to fuck right off because {quote} he offered her some work... and she said yes.

He just sounds so delusional. And also rude and disrespectful. Undermining you in front of your children! how dare he! You're not the sad case infatuated with somebody who has to be nice to you for work reasons.

thegirlupnorth · 14/09/2017 22:00

Oh dear, it sounds like he is besotted and it's no reciprocated. Tell him that you want the safe keys and access to his phone or he's out on his ear and you'll tell the kids why (don't involve them, but the thought that you might could be enough to make him be honest with you)!

OlderGolder · 14/09/2017 22:02

It makes no difference what has gone on. It might be nothing. But he has been hoping that something would happen for over a year.

He could stand there and truthfully say ''nothing happened'' but that doesn't mean that he hasn't been fancying his chances with her and disrespecting you for over a year.

LaurieFairyCake · 14/09/2017 22:03

What do you normally keep in the safe he doesn't want you to have access to?

Original poster
sad9999 · 14/09/2017 22:04

Might ring her for a chat and find out what has gone on.

OP posts:
Original poster
sad9999 · 14/09/2017 22:04

Passports financial documents

OP posts:
Jb291 · 14/09/2017 22:13

Is there any other way to get into the safe..locksmith?? If it contains all the financials then you need to get access to it somehow. I would also be informing his family and friends of what he is doing..utterly discrediting him in their eyes might shame him into compliance. Let the entire world see him for the disgusting slobbering pervert he is.

Sakura03 · 14/09/2017 22:13

Why do you want to ring her?

StrawberryDaiquiriPlease · 14/09/2017 22:17

You wanted him to move out and he refused, you can't be stuck with him against your will, have you called a locksmith so you can get all your financial and important documents?

user1493059174 · 14/09/2017 22:26

Eeeew, what a creepy slime ball! Get rid!

OfaFrenchmind2 · 14/09/2017 22:29

A cheat and, apparently, sexual harrasser. What an utter dick.
OP, do not rush, prepare your exit AND your revenge carefully. You hold some very good cards here.

maddening · 14/09/2017 22:38

He. May be playing the long game also. Demand the keys for the safe- if he doesn't give them to you then get it broken next time he is out for more than a few hours

Original poster
sad9999 · 14/09/2017 22:43

I suppose I want proof to say to him look..... He thinks he is so clever

OP posts:
fullofhope03 · 14/09/2017 23:14

Firstly, I'm SO sorry to hear about all that you are going through. But please please try not to give him any idea that you have any knowledge about anything. YOUR knowledge is power. His lack of, is (or will be hopefully) the opposite of this. So keep schtum. Get a locksmith out tomorrow. Go through the safe. Photocopy anything you need. And keep that safe. With the solicitor that you see tomorrow fingers crossed. Then when the pathetic apology of a man returns from his work trip next month, you'll be able to hit him every which way. In the meantime, try and stand up to your children and get them to learn to respect their lovely Mother. Flowers Wine Flowers xxx