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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

LOOK AT THIS BLOODY THING

154 replies

QueenNefertitty · 10/09/2017 21:38

Am sat on floor working on presentation for job interview in bedroom DS and I share and this fucker just sprinted at me from across the room.

Had to down dregs of Malbec and whack the glass over the top of beastie AND DS stray sorting shape.

But what the fuck do I do now?! DS asleep on futon right next to glass, and I can't move the fucking fucker.

This is what exDP was for. Why why why why did he have to be such a twat that we had to break up?!?!?

Angry

Seriously though.... eughhgghgdjueiebskla!!!!

LOOK AT THIS BLOODY THING
OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
brasty · 11/09/2017 00:16

Just let it go. It will not harm you.

zwellers · 11/09/2017 00:19

If house spiders cant just die if they go outside otherwisr how do they get in your house in the first place.

brasty · 11/09/2017 00:21

They are born in your house.

ADishBestEatenCold · 11/09/2017 00:23

We have one like that who lives in the kitchen window. He's called Kevin the kitchen window spider and does an amazing job at eliminating flies

Ah, now, if Kevin the kitchen window spider tends to stay put, at this time of year, never heading off very far in any direction, then she is likely to be Kevina, and she will wait for a mate to come to her.

(after which she'll probably deposit a hugely sticky blob of egg sac in the corner of your window or up where the wall joins the ceiling).

SleightOfMind · 11/09/2017 00:34

I'm good with spiders and the three younger DCs absolutely love them. Poor dS1,17, though is terrified.
Weirdly, he has far more big spider encounters than anyone else.

He shuts the velux window over his bed and a huge black widow falls onto his pillow.

He picks up a towel after a shower and a huge house spider falls out.

He goes into the garage to get petrol for the lawn mower and comes back with an enormous garden spider in his hair.

This had never happened to anyone else in the house - half of whom would be thrilled.

They can smell his fear.

ADishBestEatenCold · 11/09/2017 00:34

"Here - for all you spider lovers- proof of life" (photo)

Awww, he looks quite settled for the night ... but you should really give him a small clean piece of wet sponge to suck upon.

SleightOfMind · 11/09/2017 00:34

False widow, not black widow. We're in zlondon!

JoshGrobansFurryHamster · 11/09/2017 01:04

Evicted this morning

I want to sit in bleach 😭

LOOK AT THIS BLOODY THING
jeanc1 · 11/09/2017 02:41

bejesus thats a big bitch! i hope you charged it rent!

i would just move house, it now knows where you live and could be planning for its whole tribe to move in!

i always seem to find them in the bathroom when i go for a pee in the middle of the night! have to fight em with a plunger before they scuttle back behind the bath! i swear one of them was trying my shoes on last week, will be filling out a housing benefit form next, cheeky blighters!

73kittycat73 · 11/09/2017 02:54

I hope all these people saying don't kill it are lifelong vegans? Obviously don't kill it for the fun of it but I can't stand people who get all preachy about killing one little spider when they wear and eat many more animals in a day. Angry
Anyway OP, I'm only on page one so hope you have managed to extract said spider and are now safe and sound. Smile

safariboot · 11/09/2017 02:57

Hmm, I'm wondering what kind of spider OP had. Looks jet-black and hairless; the usual giant house spiders are brown and hairy. (And when I see them, I unceremoniously evict them. If they can't live outside then they'd better come back in and learn to stay hidden Grin ).

SheGotOffThePlane · 11/09/2017 03:52

Genuine question - if you left a spider inside a glass for an extended period of time would it suffocate? Asking because once I had trapped one just as I was running out the door. When i came back i thought it was dead as all curled up - the fucker was just playing with me Angry lifted the glass and it was off.

eatabagofdicks · 11/09/2017 04:34

WTF is all this talk of HOUSE SPIDERS?
You mean my house is full of spiders and I can't see them???! They're breeding in my house?
I live in Australia and we have some fuck off spiders here but I thought they all just managed to wander in from outside until they are spotted and hoovered.

Pandakin · 11/09/2017 06:02

I thought I was safe here when I moved in with DP, we had not seen any sign of clompers scuttling about. Until my beautiful, butter wouldn't melt cat decided to puke Aragog up under the coffee table as a warning. It was like the special effects from an alien film.

Since then I found it's cousin in the toilet when I lifted the lid and a slightly cremated remains on the hob that must have barbecued itself. These shenanigans are why I don't want to go to Australia, I don't want them here!

LilySwamp · 11/09/2017 06:35

Look at the time, I’ve hardly slept a wink since I saw that fucking behemoth thing under a glass dome. Grin

Original poster
QueenNefertitty · 11/09/2017 07:06

@shegotoff

When I was an idle student, I left one under a glass for two weeks. Not as an experiment- just that tended to be how long ALL washing up got left. It didn't make it Sad

Anyway, have just gone into bathroom and glass is upended, spider nowhere to be seen- so either DMs fella dealt with it as requested or.... Shock

OP posts:
JonSnowsWife · 11/09/2017 10:17

SheGotOff. No. They can survive for weeks without being fed I believe. The curling up is how they 'play dead'. The spider I moved last week did this which made me even more scared to scoop the paper beneath it! Grin

EvilDoctorBallerinaDuckKeidis · 11/09/2017 10:19

I'll rid you of him for a pint of beetroot cider. 😂🍺

Soubriquet · 11/09/2017 10:30

We had a massive fucker last week!

Dh saw it, shrieked and sprayed it with hairspray before squishing it beneath his shoe...

I pisssd myself laughing watching him dance about

but to be fair, it was a massive fucking spider

PenguindreamsofDraco · 11/09/2017 10:57

A proud moment for me was when a friend who irrationally likes the beasts caught one in the house and asked my then 4yo 'what shall we say to the spider then?' And my boy calmly replied, 'Die bastard spider die?'

scampimom · 11/09/2017 11:05

GnARghfdsialgf, serious case of the heebie jeebies over here.

We had one once that took 2 flushes to go away. It was flushed away, bobbed to the surface, then started to climb back out (Yes we are bad people and should have saved it, but that fecker could've braced his feets against a window pane and refused to leave)

KityGlitr · 11/09/2017 12:47

This thread is devastating. I have such bad spider phobia I hate it. I genuinely feel so vulnerable and afraid and nauseous for days after finding one in my flat. I grew up in a spidery house. I found my first one in my new flat last week and stood panicking for half an hour, completely unable to move towards it, until I saw a DHL van out the window, ran out in my PJs and begged him to come up and catch it, which he did. Superhero.

I don't agree there should be trigger warnings in the thread title though, not everyone has arachnophobia and given how many people have a phobia of something it'd be ridiculous to make sure every thread had a warning on as someone would be afraid of something in it!

That story made me want to actually cry. I think I'd have put the kid up for adoption.

I would never kill one though no matter what (yes, almost lifelong vegan) as my principles are stronger than my terror, just about. I couldn't live with myself for ending their life just cos I'm scared.

It's horrible having a phobia of something that can just creep up on you in your own home. It really messes with my life and my mood. I've kept all windows shut ever since last week and won't open them again unless it's for a minute with me watching the window frame.

I just try deal with it by reminding myself no matter how terrified and panicking and sweating and being sick I am, they can't hurt me and the fear response will die down eventually. It has to. It's like being shoved in a horrible disgusting terrifying rollercoaster out of the blue and having no choice but to ride it.

Ironically I treat people with phobia as part of my job but I cannot bear to have exposure therapy for myself for this issue cos nothing makes me feel this much terror and devastation. Luckily I can pass off spider phobia patients to colleagues.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 11/09/2017 13:08

This thread has reminded me of an old one from the lovely @HoneyDragon - Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh I have LITERALLY twatted a spider to death - where she found a dead spider in her gusset, when going to the loo.

Cue much hilarity about where the spider had been living.

Madwoman5 · 11/09/2017 13:52

Don't care if they have problems outside. We has a mahooooosive beastie in the kitchen last night. The males in the house all squealed and backed off. I cupped it, flipped the monster and sent it flying over next door's drive with a shout of "feck off, you don't pay any rent!". Only way to go.

baffledcoconut · 11/09/2017 14:05

My spider now has a friend who is under another glass.

We're running out of glasses and it's becoming a bit of an obstacle course.