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AIBU?

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Original poster

LOOK AT THIS BLOODY THING

154 replies

QueenNefertitty · 10/09/2017 21:38

Am sat on floor working on presentation for job interview in bedroom DS and I share and this fucker just sprinted at me from across the room.

Had to down dregs of Malbec and whack the glass over the top of beastie AND DS stray sorting shape.

But what the fuck do I do now?! DS asleep on futon right next to glass, and I can't move the fucking fucker.

This is what exDP was for. Why why why why did he have to be such a twat that we had to break up?!?!?

Angry

Seriously though.... eughhgghgdjueiebskla!!!!

LOOK AT THIS BLOODY THING
OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
DeadDoorpost · 10/09/2017 22:38

I should have added that I absolutely hate them I'm ok with daddy long legs but not the huge freaky ones. I was stood on the kitchen chair within .05 seconds of seeing it and I'm 30 weeks pregnant. Do3snt come down for 10 minutes.

Original poster
QueenNefertitty · 10/09/2017 22:38

@genieback

I keep thinking I'm seeing more of them....

To the OP who dried her face on the spider .... Gin

OP posts:
TheLegendOfBeans · 10/09/2017 22:40

I'm not phobic but not a fan of spiders at all, I think I'm quite tough and can and have evicted big spiders before...but two things:

  1. Are house spiders getting bigger? Honestly, the one posted by the OP is a weapon

or

  1. Are they bigger the more favourable the temperature? I moved from N Scotland to SE England a decade ago and never saw beasts as big as that in my (freezing) house when I was younger.
SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 10/09/2017 22:44

I'm just impressed that it could lift that shape sorter shape. Or have I got the wrong end of the stick?

I still go faintly queasy at the memory from the Harvest Festival service, when I was 11 years old, standing on the front row of the choir stalls, singing All Things Bright and Beautiful, when a spider who had been hiding in the autumnal display of fruit and veg along the bottom of the choir stalls ran up my face!

I did carry on singing - though I may have missed a beat.

nameohnameohname · 10/09/2017 22:48

DD found one as big as that in DH's shoe tonight.
I scooped it out and put it out of the window.

Trollspoopglitter · 10/09/2017 22:55

I remember living in a teeny London flat in a converted period house that couldn't fit an actual double bed in the box room they called the "bedroom" ... so they built a loft bed in. And one night grabbing my glasses and sitting up so that I was just feet from the ceiling to investigate what the fuck that blurry movement was... baby spiders darting across the ceiling from an egg sac. I've never seen it - not even on tv - so it took me a couple of seconds to realise what I was watching. Puzzlement turned to childlike wonder, then turned into a horrified muffled Fuuuck oh god oh god oh god... hundreds of teeny spiders are crawling across the ceiling and the first thing they will reach is my loft bed and mattress.

I spent rest of night in fetal position on sofa, after consuming half a bottle of wine to calm the fuck down.

Whitelisbon · 10/09/2017 22:56

We have one like that who lives in the kitchen window. He's called Kevin the kitchen window spider and does an amazing job at eliminating flies.
Dh hates him, but can't get rid of him as dd2 named him, and chats to him every day. He's her pet spider and she lubbs him.
They don't bother me, but I rehome a lot of them to the garage, as dh is terrified of them.

StewPots · 10/09/2017 23:05

I'm not scared of spiders at all, in fact I'm quite keen as they eat all the flies and also moths which I'm irrationally terrified of Thanks Silence Of The Lambs for that.

I love to watch them eat their prey, it's fascinating. HOWEVER! I was bitten by a spider on my ankle this week (GP just made out 2 tiny marks and a very tender red lump just below the bone on the skin) but I hadn't felt it. I honestly thought I'd randomly sprained my ankle, because the pain radiated up to my knee and my ankle ballooned. I couldn't walk on it properly, and then I later had awful sweats and a headache.

Few paracetamol, a dose of hydrocortisone and also loratadine and it settled after 3 bloody days in a lot of pain!

I'm relatively fit and healthy but if it had been my DS, DD who is asthmatic or DH who is allergic to wasps, bees and god knows what else (carries an epipen) then who knows...they can affect you, they can harm you, so exercising caution especially with the big ones is a good idea.

Agree with PPs...out the window or into a shed I reckon!

DeadDoorpost · 10/09/2017 23:07

@TheLegendOfBeans no, you're right, the warmer and more favourable, the bigger the spider. I'm in cornwall and they're huge. I should be used to them but I'm really not. I have developed lightning reflexes though from them.

My fist experience of a giant house spider was when I had my first day at a new school. Bright blue school jumper, big black spider on my arm. Even mentally took a note of how many legs it had (7) in the time it took for me to throw it across the room. My dad eventually caught it later on and threw it out. He came back. Twice.

ShakeShakeTheMuffin · 10/09/2017 23:11

They do seem to be getting bigger! I like them and don't agree with killing them but I admit to putting them outside. This one was in our house the other day. It's in a pint glass.

LOOK AT THIS BLOODY THING
DO3271 · 10/09/2017 23:15

Let me know if you need to borrow my cat; she eats spiders! Oh and peas... she is strange wih her spidery pea breath but I luffs her Grin

JonSnowsWife · 10/09/2017 23:21

We had one like this in our house recently but bigger! On the stair wall as we were going up the stairs to bed. I spent twenty minutes retinf to coax it odd the wall. I am petrified of them OP but also like you had a spider removing DH who also happened to have the audacity to be a twat so I had no choice but to do it myself. Sucks doesn't it?

Word of advice. Dont use paper to slide under it. We used the back of an old book. It was the only thing that was big enough and thick enough to hold him in the bucket I had trapped him in. (he was too big to fit in a normal pint type glass!).

JonSnowsWife · 10/09/2017 23:23

*trying to coax it off the wall.

FlyingGiraffeBox · 10/09/2017 23:27

We live in a barn conversion and Dh and I have had to resign ourselves to the fact that the house belongs to the spiders, and they merely tolerate us as houseguests. We've had some gigantic flies in here too so it's not like the fuckers even do decent pest control!

AcornToOak · 10/09/2017 23:33

Second one for the day in our house about an hour ago, this one I thought was lucky as we sent it packing to the local allotments, however it seems it will die as i sent it packing so maybe not Confused however as i came across the first one after i flicked a tickle off my face whilst dozing on the sofa this afternoon, heard the bugger land and saw the crater it left, automatic knee jerk half dozing reaction was to squish it

I am feeling a bit guilty about the second one tho, I thought i was giving it a chance Blush

LOOK AT THIS BLOODY THING
fancysquillium · 10/09/2017 23:42

Male spiders live for such a short time anyway, surely you are giving them a fighting chance to reproduce by putting them outside? Human houses are quite dangerous for little animals like spiders Confused full of giant clumsy mammals.

Missymoo100 · 10/09/2017 23:52

It's spider mating season so they're all running about trying to find each other. Make sure to hoover corners of rooms to make sure there's no spider egg sacks about

drinkswineoutofamug · 10/09/2017 23:57

Got a relative of aragog in my living room at the moment. As long as he stays on the floor and doesn't sit on the sofa next to me, we will get along fine.
The spider I met in my kitchen in Bulgaria , cured all my fears. A wolf spider , big as my hand , carrying her egg sack . Now that is scary shit.
After I got over that fear, then came the snakes. I still check my shoes when I get up in the morning .....
Highlight of last summer, my daughter running out of her bedroom screaming that a spider was on her bra, and my other half screaming like a girl as he ran at top speed from a rat snake in the barn.

JonSnowsWife · 10/09/2017 23:59

WhiteLisbon My Mum names her spiders! She currently has a Steve with her! I even bought her a spider catcher that he had managed to evade for months. Don't buy them. They're a con.

Smithy1234 · 11/09/2017 00:02

People on this thread are saying that nice house spiders will eat all the nasties, but...
I'm usually trying to avoid killing spiders if I can (where are I'm from there is a superstition that you'll have no money, if you kill a spider). I am mainly limiting my anti-spider measures to removing webs (spiders rebuilding, I'm removing etc.). There are a few of them behaving like they are paying rent, yet I am the one catching all the nasty flies. Are 'my' spiders happen to be lazy or on diet?

JonSnowsWife · 11/09/2017 00:12

(where are I'm from there is a superstition that you'll have no money, if you kill a spider).

Yes.

If you want to live and thrive,
Let a spider run alive.

Mind you I never have any money so it wouldn't make too much of a difference! Grin

Original poster
QueenNefertitty · 11/09/2017 00:13

Right. Off to bed for a few hours of spidery nightmares before the other little beastie in my life (DS) starts his 5am assault.

Must say, although he gave me a fright, at least the spider wasn't crawling at me yelling for "booooobyyyyyyy mummyyyyyyyyyy" Wink

Thanks for all your awful stories and spider removal tips. Arachnid misery loves company!

OP posts:
ADishBestEatenCold · 11/09/2017 00:14

"I say she because of her size - males are usually smaller!"

You are a lot less likely to see females doing things such as running along the carpet at the edge of skirting boards (as it looks like this one might have been doing).
It's the males you see scurrying across the floor (in September) looking for a mate.

JonSnowsWife · 11/09/2017 00:14

*smithy' maybe they're on JSA. JobSpidersAllowance.

Sorry. I shall get my coat. Grin

PurpleMinionMummy · 11/09/2017 00:15

I sat in bed earlier only to look down and find a spider crawling across me.