LOOK AT THIS BLOODY THING

[QueenNefertitty]

Am sat on floor working on presentation for job interview in bedroom DS and I share and this fucker just sprinted at me from across the room.

Had to down dregs of Malbec and whack the glass over the top of beastie AND DS stray sorting shape.

But what the fuck do I do now?! DS asleep on futon right next to glass, and I can't move the fucking fucker.

This is what exDP was for. Why why why why did he have to be such a twat that we had to break up?!?!?

Seriously though.... eughhgghgdjueiebskla!!!!

and I left it something to play with.

Well done OP. Christ I'm itchy now.

Lived in caves with us 😂

@destiny

David Blaine lived in a glass box for a week. Spider better step up.

Totally off topic but I love your wine glass!

Ofgs what is it with people who seem to think we should live in a concrete jungle with nature pushed to it's absolute margins. Fucking woman up. It's only a spider. Stop passing your idiotic ideas of killing or harming spiders onto your children and learn to appreciate what it gives you.

True, maybe it will get its own tv show.

Put something heavy on top, it's big brother will easily lift that glass to free it.

Well done! You did good. Thank you for not killing her.

@Dartmoor - oh thanks- John Lewis. There's a whole range.

@sunny

DS is asleep, hence being able to indulge my twitchy, panicked, creeped out, spider fearing humanity. When he's awake I'm a robotic, perfect, spider shagging, tree hugging, strong independent big girl pants on lady solider.

But he's asleep and it's after hours so I'm off duty and can go

EUGgggGhghjGukN!!!!!

These threads need warnings in the title.

I think it's a boy, looks all spermed up with his tiny boxing gloves sorry palpal bulbs between front legs?

Please can we have a better photo?

@fruit

Apols I was remiss. Hope you're not feeling too itchy!

Queen where do you stay?!? Please tell me it's very far south England or a hot country and not anywhere near Scotland!

That spider is Too. Big.

@squillium

Here you go

@user

North Yorkshire

😀 thanks

yeah that's definitely a boy

@squillium

Eek! That's too close..

corny I am in tears at your comment 😂

I went to the barely lit kitchen for a drink of water and filled a glass from the tap. Started drinking and felt something tickling my upper lip. It was a large spider that had been sat on the rim of the glass in the cupboard 😷 I almost swallowed it.

Now I'm obsessive about checking what's in my glass.

@shumpa

A spider-tache has to be even viler than the spider testicle discussion above

Horrified

Now take the card and glass with spider to the back door and set him free. Oh if you are anything like me, you get to the door, it's locked, can't open it with elbows, spider escapes and while trying to recapture it, your toddler will eat the bastard. My friend wasn't sure if she should do, run and shout "Oh god Oh god" or get her Dd to spit it out. All she got left was a pair of spider legs, she'd swallowed the rest. Made me feel quite sick.
Other solution, remove children and mum from house and burn it down. in case it has a Dp hiding somewhere.

pmsl at this thread.

I love that the shape-sorter shape is still in there :D

I don't mind spiders myself, took a huge one out of the kitchen sink this morning.

Did not know that about them dying if put outside tho... will have to put them in the garage in future.