Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To breathalyse DP before he drives tomorrow?

203 replies

Ilovecoleslaw · 10/09/2017 02:28

DP gone out for the night with the 'lads', but due to drive at 9-10 tomorrow as planned to go see an old mate and get out of my hair whilst i do my dissertation.

He has form for wanting to drive the morning after a heavy session and sometimes he gets a bit angry/annoyed if i dare suggest the alcohol may still be in his system even though he feels fine.
I have a pack of the france breathalysers that you need to carry in your car when over there, and don't think he can argue with that!
My judgement may be clouded by annoyance as we had planned to spend the night together and he's also just text asking for a lift home at 3, which most certainly won't be happening Hmm
I'm also not entirely sure he'll be going now, as he'll have a stinking hangover and he normally sleeps for the majority of the day after!
But wibu if i were to get him to do the breathalyser?

OP posts:
Goldfishshoals · 10/09/2017 11:29

We did this to a friend a while back.

Friend would regularly drive early in the morning after a big night out. Didn't believe they were still over the limit.

Friend was staying at our house so we said they were still too drunk to drive, they claimed they weren't and we said 'wanna bet?' and whipped out the breathalyser. They honestly thought they'd win the bet and were shocked the were still over til about 12, and have since changed their habits.

Some people need to see it to believe it.

JulietNeverMetRomeo · 10/09/2017 11:33

I don't understand why he's being such a twat about this when it's your car and a known issue with drinking and driving the next day. I would wonder if he's actually going to be sober at 2pm. Personally I would push for him to take the test before he's allowed to drive my car. Good luck OP.

ZaphodBeeblerox · 10/09/2017 11:36

Also the your car bit is a red herring. It doesn't matter whose car it is. He shouldn't be on the road unless he is sober. And I don't know about legally, but morally/ethically you should never let a drunk person drive. It's just not fair to others on the road.

Kittychatcat sorry for the loss of your cousin - that's horrible :(

Thissameearth · 10/09/2017 11:43

Why's he being such a dick about something quite straightforward? Me and my husband are very cautious about driving day after. This is obviously because a) it could be dangerous for us and others b) criminal offence - could affect our jobs and even if not, if we lost our licences would be complete pain the arse c) it's never that important we drive next day anyway (if it was super important then likely wouldn't have got so boozed night before as i'd be hungover and wanting to bail but anyway would be like we'll need to bus/train/cough up for taxi). So we'd probably just think why risk it. I'm sure we are dicks about other stuff but insisting on driving a few hours after drinking etc is pretty weird and selfish to me.

Missingstreetlife · 10/09/2017 11:45

Not a red herring. If she takes his car keys could be theft. Police should b sensible about her motive but can't guarantee. Also he won't take notice, tho I would still try.

If her car she has control, if he goes without her permission could be theft. Irresponsible to le drunk drive your car. No excuse, let him sulk

TheFrendo · 10/09/2017 11:54

I reckon he will be under the limit, given the numbers. Can't you persuade him to take the test in the spirit of scientific enquiry?

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 10/09/2017 11:55

You haven't ruined his day. He did that.

He can drink to excess on Saturday night, fine.
Or he can drive on Sunday morning.
He can't do both, it's up to HIM to decide which one he wants to do.

expatinscotland · 10/09/2017 11:56

I can't fucking abide drink drivers. A very dear friend was killed by one on Sunday morning, she was 21. Also killed was her niece, age 18. I'll never forget that funeral. Her mother died a year later from heart attack, too.

Don't feel bad, OP. I wouldn't hesitate to call the police on anyone who did this. It's criminal and deadly. People who do this kill others and usually walk off without even a prison term.

Controlling, my arse! I couldn't live with someone who did this. Just zero respect for anyone else and selfish as all hell.

GabsAlot · 10/09/2017 12:00

what a twat he might even still be over at 2pm op just saying

i feel fine is bollocks got nothing to do with how your body reacts to somthing

specialsubject · 10/09/2017 12:01

One more try. Look up Olivia violet reeves, killed due to a driver so drunk he drove on the pavement and mowed her down. Died soon after.

To be frank, op, raise your standards. Is this selfish blubbering potential murderer the best you can do?

Finalmente · 10/09/2017 12:03

So now you'll have an irate man driving. Good work.

Blondefancy · 10/09/2017 12:06

I understand that you are worried he'll be over the limit but if my partner decided to breathalise me in the morning a night out I'd run away 🙄I think it's very controlling behaviour. Sure you can advise that you think he shouldn't be driving but to enforce a breath test on someone is really strange IMO..I'm sure loads of others will disagree but for me personally I'd think of it as being patronising

WeirdAndPissedOff · 10/09/2017 12:11

You're right, Finalmente - OP should have let him drove her car while she believed him to be over the drink drive limit, that would have been a much better outcome.

If he's irate that's his issue - if he was so certain he was fine he cold have taken the breathalyser. Not only would it have put him in the clear, he could have used it to "prove" OP was in the wrong.

Finalmente · 10/09/2017 12:12

I used to work on a rather large infrastructure project. They were big on zero accidents. A discussion came up one day in relation to lorry drivers failing a visual vehicle test being sent away immediately rather being allowed to unload. The voices of most of us were saying that it was hazardous to send away an irate driver in a panic with a full load where he might risk losing his job. Knowing human behaviour we concluded that it was safer all round to allow him to unload his lot and give him a warning about whatever failure it was with his vehicle.

Finalmente · 10/09/2017 12:15

I'll say it again, if my partner did this to me I would go for him. I have a brain all of my own. I don't need to be policed by my partner. If I fuck up, it's my fuck up.

Finalmente · 10/09/2017 12:18

And you don't 'let' your partner do anything. Who are you? Their guard?

Cambionome · 10/09/2017 12:18

And if you kill someone because you are over the limit, that's ok too is it, Finalmente?

Cambionome · 10/09/2017 12:19

Ok for them, their partners, children, friends...?

Izzabellasasperella · 10/09/2017 12:19

If I fuck up, it's my fuck up. Not if you kill someone else it isn't.

AccrualIntentions · 10/09/2017 12:21

Can't he get a taxi? Or a lift from a friend? Or public transport? If his entire day is "ruined" by not being able to drive, he needs to get a grip. You've done the right thing.

Finalmente · 10/09/2017 12:22

Well yes, it is. You are not police. You are not policing the streets. We employ people for that. I would hugely resent anyone trying to police me. I would walk away to be honest.

Finalmente · 10/09/2017 12:23

Izza "If I fuck up, it's my fuck up. Not if you kill someone else it isn't."
Great, next time I fuck up will you take responsibility please.

NurseButtercup · 10/09/2017 12:27

Still refuses to do the breathalyser because he said it makes him feel like a criminal

Hmm
ShoesHaveSouls · 10/09/2017 12:28

It's quite clear that he knows he'll fail the test, that's why he won't take it. He's an arsehole.

No way would anyone be borrowing my car if I suspected they might be over the limit.

You've absolutely done the right thing OP.

BigChocFrenzy · 10/09/2017 12:29

So your reaction to being asked to take a breathalyser would be violence, finalmente ? Hmm

If you run over someone while over the limit the next day, are their family entitled to react with violence against you ?

Weigh up being insulted by a breathalyser proving you are over the limit, vs being bereaved by a drunk driver

Swipe left for the next trending thread