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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To breathalyse DP before he drives tomorrow?

203 replies

Ilovecoleslaw · 10/09/2017 02:28

DP gone out for the night with the 'lads', but due to drive at 9-10 tomorrow as planned to go see an old mate and get out of my hair whilst i do my dissertation.

He has form for wanting to drive the morning after a heavy session and sometimes he gets a bit angry/annoyed if i dare suggest the alcohol may still be in his system even though he feels fine.
I have a pack of the france breathalysers that you need to carry in your car when over there, and don't think he can argue with that!
My judgement may be clouded by annoyance as we had planned to spend the night together and he's also just text asking for a lift home at 3, which most certainly won't be happening Hmm
I'm also not entirely sure he'll be going now, as he'll have a stinking hangover and he normally sleeps for the majority of the day after!
But wibu if i were to get him to do the breathalyser?

OP posts:
Original poster
Ilovecoleslaw · 10/09/2017 02:56

He always insists he's fine to drive because he doesn't feel drunk anymore Hmm
Yes peppa to make him believe he is over the limit. If he's not over the limit I'm happy to send him on his merry way Grin
I'll have to live with the consequences as well though if something happened to him or somebody else!

OP posts:
silverbell64 · 10/09/2017 02:56

I wouldn't dream of doing this.

SouthWindsWesterly · 10/09/2017 02:58

You might not Silverbell but the possible family of potential victims that he could plough into whilst drink driving would.

The problem isn't the OH going out to have a few beers. It's the fact that he plans to drive at 9-10am to visit a friend after drinking until potentially 3. Alcohol will still be the system unless he's been on soft drinks all night.

silverbell64 · 10/09/2017 02:59

He might have stopped drinking earlier. I would never dream of doing this. You are going above and beyond in your "caring"

feckoffpeppapig · 10/09/2017 03:00

Ilovecoleslaw Unless you do what another PP says about hiding keys, there isn't much you can do. You could always grass him up to the police?

silverbell64So what would YOU recommend then?

silverbell64 · 10/09/2017 03:02

I would recommend that if she isn't in a happy relationship to reflect on this and go to bed.

Original poster
Ilovecoleslaw · 10/09/2017 03:04

Isn't in a happy relationship GrinGrinGrinGrin

OP posts:
feckoffpeppapig · 10/09/2017 03:05

silverbell64 I think you should go to bed, your obviously not understanding the thread? Your not even giving any constructive or relevant advice. Are you over the limit?

silverbell64 · 10/09/2017 03:06

I would also say that whipping out a breathalyser in the morning is a bit odd. Never done this myself and a bit over caring in real life.

Jgmahe · 10/09/2017 03:06

I've hidden the keys of a friend before to stop them driving when they thought they had sobered up (they hadn't). It's not overstepping to stop people being a danger to others.

silverbell64 · 10/09/2017 03:07

Its an odd thing to do...

silverbell64 · 10/09/2017 03:08

Im sure if its so late he won't get up anyway. to whip out a breathalyser test is odd

quercusarbor · 10/09/2017 03:15

Silverbell, if you suspected your partner might be over the limit but was insisting he/she was fine and going to drive, wouldn't you attempt dissuade them from driving or ask them to take a test? Just in case?

fishybits · 10/09/2017 03:56

We have home breathalyser kits for this exact reason.

If someone is still drinking at 0300 then it's highly likely they will still be over the limit by 0900. Take the recent case in the press of Kirsty Gallacher. She was 3 times the drink drive limit at 1100 having stopped drinking at 0300.

YANBU OP.

Finalmente · 10/09/2017 04:59

If my partner greeted me in the morning with a breathalyser test he wouldn't need to call the cops. Because I'd be calling them for murder after I'd decked him.

AnotherLegoBrick · 10/09/2017 05:17

Really Fremantle - you'd deck someone who suggested you were over the drink-driving limit?

It sounds like the OP has legitimate concerns and that this isn't the first time - I suppose her other option would be to let him go and then call the police and report him; to do nothing if you suspect someone of drink driving would be irresponsible.

Needalifeoverhaul · 10/09/2017 05:30

I think this is a really sensible thing to do...if your dp got arrested for drink driving due to still having alcohol in his system he'll have to cope with a driving ban plus a criminal record.

Finalmente · 10/09/2017 05:57

I make my own decisions. If someone starting literally policing my life, I'd run like fuck. I might deck them first. Metaphorically. I'm a big girl now.

UsedToBeAPaxmanFan · 10/09/2017 06:04

I've done this with my son (aged 20). Like you OP I couldn't care less what time he came home, it's his life and he's an adult. However when he said he was going to drive one Sunday morning when he'd been out drinking heavily the night before I put my foot down, and insisted he take a breathilyser test. He thought he was ok to drive because he felt all right. Turned out he wasn't, which rather shocked him.

I would do the same as you OP. standing by and watching someone drive when you are sure they are over the limit is making you collude with the offence.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 10/09/2017 06:10

I think those French tests have an expiry date on them so we'd end up using them just not to have wasted them. If he wants to drive I don't think he can reasonably object to taking the test. Yanbu to not want him to drink drive.

Bluntness100 · 10/09/2017 06:15

I can't imagine my husband deciding he had the authority to breathalyse me. I can assure you he wouldn't be labouring under that little misapprehension long.

Tell him the test is there if he wants to use it. His decision. But anything other than that is just rather odd and controlling.

Pengggwn · 10/09/2017 06:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mummyoflittledragon · 10/09/2017 06:35

My dh went out drinking in Germany with some friends many years ago. His friend ended up being arrested. I received a 5.30am call I needed to get a shed load of cash together and bring it to the police station. His friend was then instantly banned from driving in the country for two years but was French and lived in France so it wasn't a mega issue. No one apart from me was sober enough to drive the friends car, which was parked in a side road. The police agreed a plan that they'd release the car keys to me and my dh could drive it when sober. So they breathalysed my dh and said he could drive after 2.30pm. They were pulled over around 3am and they had been drinking all night so the alcohol would have taken around 12 hours to leave the system. No way your dh will be sober in the morning.

ShoesHaveSouls · 10/09/2017 06:45

Forget the breathalyser - hide his car keys. No way will he able to drive at 9 if he has been drinking till 3am.

Peanutbuttersarniesyumm · 10/09/2017 07:07

YANBU. A relative of mine was drinking until the early hours, she drove at 11am the following morning. She was in a fatal collision and was found to be well over the drink drive limit.

Definitely ask him to do the breathalyser before he drives for everyone's sake.

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