To not expect a man to put his head in my boobs?

[MissJSays]

I'm currently sat in the clubs toilets. It's my friends 22nd birthday night out. I'm 21, I know I'm young and having fun bla bla but my best friend whose birthday it is friends has come out. She has brought about 4/5 boy friends with her, fair enough. About 2 hours into the night one of them has just bent down to me, put his head in my boobs and shook his head. I'm in a committed relationship of 2yrs, I love my boyfriend to pieces (he's not here with me tonight) and I haven't been suggestive or anything to this boy all night. It's completely floored me and I'm sobbing in the toilet, I don't know why it's got to me so much. I feel so alone and like I'm making such a fuss over nothing, I don't know why this has upset me so much! Hoping for some Mumsnet wisdom to get me out of the cubicle🙁

You aren't making a fuss over nothing. Totally unacceptable behaviour from him.

It's sad that as soon as something like this happens women analyse their own behaviour to see if they caused it.
Forget making a fuss you would've been within your rights to deck the cunt.

If I were you, I'd tidy up my face, go back out and smack him straight in the face. I would have probably smacked him as soon as he did it tbh. What an utter knob.

Ask a friend to have a word with him? Ts really inappropriate and has spoiled your night!

As a man can I assure you that you did absolutely nothing wrong! It's this kind of crap that really annoys me because it makes people think all men are dicks!

What he did was completely unacceptable! The same as if he grabbed your bum, pulled you in for a kiss or any kind of contact you did not want.

Basically the guy is a knob. Don't let him ruin your night go back out and enjoy yourself! Also I don't think anyone would blame you for giving him a swift kick in the nuts for his efforts!

Wait... like a "motorboat"? Like he just smushed his face into your boobs????

Sorry this dick spoilt your evening. He's completely out of order. Take some slow deep breaths, splash your face, re-do your makeup , hold your head up high and go back out.
Then decide what you want to do. You can tell your friend what he did or calmly and loudly tell him what you think of him and demand an apology. He treated you like a piece of furniture and has no respect for women. If it's a reasonable club you could ask the manager to get him to leave as he's sexually assaulted you.
You didn't deserve this and did nothing to provoke it, he's just a disrespectful jerk.

How are you feeling MissJ?

I'm so sorry about what he did it's totally unacceptable and absolutely dickish on his part!! I'm fuming on your behalf.

Please please dry your tears and storm out of the cubicle for an amazing night out with your friends (and while you're there, kick that guy into touch).

Hope the rest of your night goes so much better xxx

Thank you for not making me feel ridiculous! I came out of the toilets and couldn't face going back to the group so I got a taxi home. I'm currently in bed analysing the whole night and everything I did.

I'm a fairly petite 21 year old, I'm about 5ft 1" and this guy towered over me, he was tall and really well built. I was really upset (and embarrassed about getting so upset!) in the club and the guy, after seeing how it had affected me, did come and apologise. I just felt that I was too embarrassed to go back to the group after crying!!! Which is so unlike me!!!
I have been with my boyfriend for 2, nearly 3 years now and I love him to death! It's just the thought that if he had been out with me tonight that would have never happened!

Please any boys/men out there, don't do this to anyone, this has really, really, upset me! That is somebodies personal space, they do not want it to be invaded by a stranger in that way.

I'm really shocked at how much this has upset me, I don't think I'll ever forget it.

@MissJSays You did nothing wrong. You did the right thing in removing yourself from an uncomfortable situation. I would have kicked him in his shin.

What that twunt did is way out of order and an assault. Did the birthday girl or anyone else witnessed the incident? Did anyone came to comfort you. If any of the attendees including your friend says it's the drink that made them do it, calling you pruding or you're no fun, you'll know which dead weights to drop. Hugs Is there someone for you to talk to?

(((((((((((Mega Madd Hugs)))))))))))

it's NOT your fault

Not Not Not in any way Not your fault.

tell your friend.

Was his apology legit?

He sexually assaulted you. I'd report him.

I'm not sure if anybody saw or not, it seemed to happen so quick. It was really out of the blue. I haven't met that group of people before and don't even know any of their names.
As soon as he did it I turned to my friend and told her what happened and began to get upset, I told her I needed to come away from the group because I could feel myself crying and didn't want to do it in front of everyone!

The girl who brought the boys/men with her came to me and tried to explain it all away and say it's just how they are and that they're 'knobs' etc. I was literally crying to her! I couldn't stop crying and said to her that that doesn't matter, that's not ok, that's never ok. She just tried to brush over it and said she just wants everyone to have a good night. I said I appreciate her coming over to me, but that really it's not her job to do that and all I want to go is go home. I said that although I know I have had a drink and am probably abit over emotional, it really took me by surprise and knocked me, I told her I did nothing to encourage his behaviour.

I didn't even want to go to a different place away from them, I just wanted to go home!! It completely ruined it for me.

This knob deserves a short sharp shock. Report the assault.

I can't understand what he was thinking of. I can't. Not even being massively drunk. Who on earth would do such a thing? And WHY? It's not cute, it's not funny, it's certainly not a bloody compliment. I just can't imagine what the fuck he was thinking of! That's a massive invasion, and frankly a sexual assault. What the fuck is wrong with this arsehole?? And his friend sounds insensitive at best, honestly.

Oh MissJ I am so sorry. I completely understand going home AND crying. I'd have done the same. I'm fuming over here on your behalf, honestly. I just can't understand him. What the fuck!

I had a bloke literally shove his hand between my legs from behind in a club once, must be 25 years ago and I've never forgotten it. I hope you're ok OP, it's horrible

' girl who brought the boys/men with her came to me and tried to explain it all away and say it's just how they are and that they're 'knobs'

She's an idiot. There is Never an explanation away for 'boys be boys'
She is doing more damage than ever.

SMH I cant even get my words to convey what im thinking

(((((((((((Madd Hugs))))))))

If the girl who brought the blokes with her knew they were knobs wtf did she bring them? I'd be reporting this to the police too. YANBU to be so upset.

Gosh I would have returned the favour with my knee on his balls 😡

Sexual assault... Try and get any cctv...

Totally not on

Also I would seriously consider reporting it to police...

He was probably dunk and being an idiot and isn't really think about it ...
However, he SHOULD have thought about it and this is what pisses me off, it is unacceptable, and in any other environment would be treated as sexual harassment. I would go out and give him a piece of my mind about respecting other people which includes women. And anyone who says you're being dramatic or can't take a joke is perpetuating a culture which dehumanises women. Screw them, put him in his place, be strong, don't let the muggles get you down x

Pengggwn are you male or female, out of curiosity?

OP, I'm glad you didn't pretend that you weren't bothered by it and that he and his friens so how upset you were. I think I would report to police, because the fucker needs to feel the fear you felt.

I am sorry your night out was spoiled, but well done for not putting up with it, for not glossing over it for the sake of not wanting to "make a fuss". When I was your age I put up with a lot of unsolicited comments and touching and did nothing because I was scared to rock the boat, and it makes me so angry. I am delighted to read that you didn't. Not delighted that this happened but that you didn't put everyone else's needs ahead of your own. And hopefully he will have got the message that it is not ok to stick your face into the breasts of women without their invitation to do so.