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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

....to send a terse note to these families? And maybe an invoice?

300 replies

agirlcalledmove · 08/09/2017 20:33

My Daughter is 16. Her party is tomorrow....first one for 5 years. I have saved forever to do a fun and unusual activity for her "friendship group". Invites given out late July before school broke up. Reminder invites by instagram in August before deadline for paying deposit and ordering/paying for food. Directions to venue and disclaimers along with paper reminder given out at beginning of this week for invitees.

TONIGHT 3 people have told daughter they are not coming. 2 have yet to say yes or no. Out of 12 (including daughter). Minimum for activity is 10.

When, just when did people become so rude and unfeeling never mind unconscious of wasting money????????????????

OP posts:
Motoko · 10/09/2017 09:53

I'm glad your DD had a good day. How many of the original lot turned up in the end?

Peaches77 · 10/09/2017 10:01

How many friends ending up dropping out?

Willow2017 · 10/09/2017 10:26

Glad it all worked out and everyone had a fab time. You are a fab mum your dd is very lucky.

What a shame about the camping...not.

Branleuse · 10/09/2017 10:26

glad she had fun. Hope the camping girls got drenched

Cagliostro · 10/09/2017 10:34

So glad that she still had a good time and that some friends came along. I really hope she feels positive moving forward.

Mummyoflittledragon · 10/09/2017 10:38

I'm really glad she had a good time. Very unkind to bail on the last minute for a 'better' offer. And entitled. You normally find what comes around goes around.

MrsJamesAspey · 10/09/2017 10:45

That's great news, so glad it was a success, Star

Hope your dd is able to strengthen her friendships with the people who stuck by her and move away from the ones who didn't over the next year.

PurpleTango · 10/09/2017 11:02

Glad your DD had a great birthday bash 🎉

The camping trip was a wash out? Shame... 🍾🥂

ScarletForYa · 10/09/2017 11:06

I'm delighted about the thunderstorms that the party was a success!

Cosmic justice! Grin

SweetLuck · 10/09/2017 11:26

So the camping trip was the same day Shock Well at least she knows for sure that they are twats!

IfYouGoDownToTheWoodsToday · 10/09/2017 11:28

So glad she hadn't a lovely day. And I agree with others, you're a fan mum!

Whiterabbitears · 10/09/2017 12:04

Good news that she enjoyed her birthday Smile

Also great news that the campers got drenched! Grin

alltouchedout · 10/09/2017 12:10

Aw so glad she had a great birthday. What a shame that the poor old campers got wet Grin

Original poster
agirlcalledmove · 10/09/2017 12:29

I have to give a big thumbs up to the paintballing place. of the original 12 girls 6 (including DD) turned up plus 3 rent a crowd and a younger sibling meant we only lost 2 deposits.

The organisers teamed the girls with another smallish group and were fantastically helpful, encouraging and obviously enjoyed their job. 5.5 hours of running wild in woodland meeting different goals and set in different scenarios left everyone exhausted but exhilarated. The food went down well (phew). 15/16 year old girls dressed in army fatigues and armed with paintball guns are a force to be reckoned with!

In the evening we went out to hear a buskers event at a local BBQ.

All in all a DD had a wonderful, full day with fun caring people and I couldn't have asked for more.

Cake and Brew for all Wine later

OP posts:
DamsonGin · 10/09/2017 12:33

Definitely quality over quantity then! Sounds like a cracking day.

Willow2017 · 10/09/2017 12:45

Sounds fantastic. I am very jealous. 😀 what a great birthday dd had.

DO3271 · 10/09/2017 13:13

I think those that let you dd down will regret it. Good to hear your daughter had a great day

crazycatgal · 10/09/2017 13:34

I think it's awful that 6 girls didn't turn up. So glad that your DD had a great day.

endofthelinefinally · 10/09/2017 13:46

OP, will you be asking the parents of the 6 why they didn't turn up, after accepting the invitation and allowing you to pay the deposit?
I would.
I hope your DD will move after GCSE.
My DD moved to 6th form college and had a brilliant time.

Flashinggreen · 10/09/2017 13:53

I'm really pleased to read she had a great day despite the meanies.

I hope she's able to ignore their nastiness and rise above it. They are definitely not worth her friendship.

Peachyking000 · 10/09/2017 14:02

I'm delighted she had a great day Smile

I wonder if Migraleve is still trying to excuse the other girls' dreadful behaviour now that it's clear the camping was deliberately booked for the same day

misshelena · 10/09/2017 15:24

So glad DD had a great time! Happy birthday!

Now she knows, those 6 are not her "friends". But I am really shocked that the parents who knew about their dd's "yes" to OP dd's party would agree to let them ditch it and further agree to drive them to the camping site! What kind of parents do that?! I wish someone would come on and really make an argument for doing something like that. I am just really curious.

diddl · 10/09/2017 17:14

Really glad that it went well & your daughter enjoyed it.

Krissiew · 10/09/2017 17:28

Everything now is so commercial and appears to be what can we do to outdo the last. Birthday parties were never about lining pioples pocketss or 1 upmanship and I 'm sorry but i find all this distasteful and puts pressure on less well off to find money they can ill afford. Try just doing a party at home with music and games that your daughtefr and her friends rlate to. Otherwise let her arrange the day with her friends to enjou a mutual day out that their parents dont have to fork out on. people keep saying how hard itt is to make ends meet snow. Really? I wonder why.

EllenMP · 10/09/2017 17:29

That's rude, unless they have an emergency. I would call the parents and let them know what's going on. If nothing else it's a chance for the parents to teach their kids about proper behaviour re invitations going forward. And you might find a couple say they will send them, especially if you can facilitate lift shares. I do think if a party is more than 20 minutes away the host should help coordinate lifts.