....to send a terse note to these families? And maybe an invoice?

[agirlcalledmove]

My Daughter is 16. Her party is tomorrow....first one for 5 years. I have saved forever to do a fun and unusual activity for her "friendship group". Invites given out late July before school broke up. Reminder invites by instagram in August before deadline for paying deposit and ordering/paying for food. Directions to venue and disclaimers along with paper reminder given out at beginning of this week for invitees.

TONIGHT 3 people have told daughter they are not coming. 2 have yet to say yes or no. Out of 12 (including daughter). Minimum for activity is 10.

When, just when did people become so rude and unfeeling never mind unconscious of wasting money????????????????

Your dd and her friends now need to ensure they talk loudly in the vicinity of the drowned campers about what a fantastic day they had

Krissiew, have you noticed what age OP's DD is? Mine would be utterly mortified if I expected her to celebrate her 16th birthday by "music and games at home".

You also don't seem to have noticed that the other parents weren't being asked to pay anything other than maybe the cost of a bit of petrol. Which they are unlikely to begrudge given that they chose to drive their DDs twice as far for the soggy camping trip.

Dianag111 I take it you didn't read the thread.

Stowmum - that was nasty and unnecessary!

I'm glad it all worked out..... I was considering offering you some of my kids to pad it out lol. Then I realised that would be a bit weird :)

Its happened to us too, my DSS had a 15th party, whilst he was living with his Mum and actually excluded my own sons, his SB's. (one a year older, one a year younger) The family were furious but we let it go as it was his bday and his choice. 3 people turned up, and my boys were manically summoned along with some of their friends and the party was salvaged. My boys are kind souls at heart, and DSS learned to value them more.

YANBU it isn't only ignorant and unthoughtful considering the. Money spent but my heart goes out to your daughter, I would go mad at my kids for thinking of letting a friend down like this, their parents are behaving like twats.

Diang111

You are a bit late the party was yesterday!

They said they couldnt get a lift because they had organised something else between them and the parents were quite happy to ferry them twice as far away to do it.

Why the hell should the op who has paid for everything else pay for a taxi for the little madams? THeir parents could have organised someone to take them and someone to bring them back between them.

I am glad your DD had a great time. I didn't realise the camping trip was booked for the same time period as your daughter's birthday. That was just callous imo, given the girls were invited. such a shame they were washed out

Hopefully going forward your daughter will be able to hold her head high and ignore any attempt from the abandoning crowd to knock her down, especially given their event was a washout and hers sounds like it was a resounding success.

Stowmum...yes that is entirely possible...but they have known us since primary, no obligation to keep contact...it's a good job that DD doesn't know about this thread because that is, of course, exactly why it is upsetting to her...they are happy to use her when they need her and to drop her callously this weekend.

I am sure your immense empathy and kindness means you would never be treated badly by anyone you know.

Glad to hear it turned out well. As others have said ignore the silly girls who were rude and hold your heads high! It's a minefield. The party sounds ace & nice to hear that they aren't all into pampering and having their nails done!

OP just ignore the Stowmums of this forum, they only post to get a rise out of others.

You've done so well to pull this off, now you can relax for a bit.

I really disagree with posters suggesting your dd and friends crow loudly about what a great time they had in front of others. That's exactly the sort of crap that drives toxicity.

Your daughter would be well advised to continue to behave with dignity rather than stoop to pettiness.

People are very inconsiderate when it comes to parties.Just try to make it a special day for your daughter,that's what matters.

Concentrate on the fact that your dd has six good friends, that is wealth. Glad she had a good day.

Oh man , reading this hurt my heart. I've always been the "second tier" / second choice/"you're ok if nothing else is going on" quiet friend and gave up on social groups and all birthday celebrations very early on.
It's so brutal and painful, and I hope your daughter can find some genuine friends who have some loyalty and empathy - and tosses those nasty arseholes! They showed their callous insides and true colors thats for sure.
So glad she had some fun despite them! I hope their tents got flooded

I fully confess to not rtft but you want guests to pay to attend a party? Why? I thought a party was an invitation, not a summons?

The party was fully financed by the op!

6 people who had said yes to the invite cancelled/did not go. The op lost her deposit for the empty spaces. Her question was should she invoice for the wasted money.

Ah, a million aplogies op. People are so rude. I recall a party when DS was nine, a text ten minutes before the event saying the weather was too good to be indoors so they were doing something more fun!

Theftby

RTFT op paid for everything in advance the poor parents only had to take their own kids to the party.

Sorry didn't see your last post it didn't show up.

OP, have been lurking, and I am so glad you DD had fun and that it all went well in the end.

I am glad the party went ahead even if some mean girls organised a separate camping trip. I suppose that is just how some teenagers are and always have been. Even my son was talking about a dinner they all went to (by the way they or their parents each paid £30) with boys from school this weekend. All went well. not enough space on one table for everyone but mine were happy on a smaller table next to it - so no problems there. Then issues about who wants to go with whom to the club after - I said to my son just tolerate everyone. Why do teenagers (some of them not all of them) have to be so concerned about who is wuith them and who is not? Then when he was there he talked to a lot of new people apparently which is fine but was then worried his friends would think he'd abandoned them. I was telling him it is so much better being over 50 as you couldn't care less what people think and do what you like!