Brother and SIL am I being U to say no

[RedSunflowers]

I've had to NC because this could definitely out me....
Ok so really not sure if I'm U, I don't think I am but I want to make sure before this potentially turns into a huge family argument.
My DS and my nephew are in the same class in year 1, we had an email at the end of term (July) to inform us that KS1 would be coming out from now on at 3:30 instead of 3:40, me and other parents that I know had to adjust working hours to do this pick up time (I only had to change one day as the two other days I work I finish at lunch)... My DB and DSIL have a habit of leaving everything to the last minute and if I'm being honest she leaves near enough all sorting out of the children to him, he works in an office and she WFH. Today he picked DN up from mine (as I had collected him three times this week as they finished abit earlier to resettle them in and I didn't mind helping out) and he said to me I need to ask you a favour but I'll call you over the weekend as I'm in a rush. Now I KNOW I just KNOW that he is going to ask me to collect DN with DS everyday and wait for him to get there, this will mean everyday waiting around for him for 10minutes. AIBU to say no? I don't mind helping out every now and then even once or twice a week or something but I don't want to be tied down to this arrangement 5 days a week for the whole of KS1, I'm pregnant and will have a newborn aswell by the end of the year and I don't want this pressure everyday. If you think I'm not BU then how do I say it without causing an argument as I don't want to fall out, we help each other out with the kids frequently.

Offer to do alternate weeks with SIL,

i'd say no and not feel at all guilty since sil isn't commiting to collecting her own son. who knows,she may just step up to the mark once you refuse !!!

maybe i'd still carry on with the thursday.

What they need is to pay for after school care.
Nothing wrong with SIL not being able to pick up. I have several friends who WFH but have jobs where they are logged in to phone and networks so cant just leave.
Nothing wrong with SIL handing this part of childcare for DH to resolve.
Nothing wrong with DB asking his sister to help
Nothing wrong with DSis saying "jog on you chancer to her DB.

if he is angry or upset it's just being directed at the wrong person

I think that's what you need to say - "DB why are you upset with me when your own DW is at home and could do it?"

I learnt long ago not to get involved in other peoples relationship politics. I wouldn't try to solve for him by suggestion DW does it, its just another argument. The commitment won't work for you and your kids end of.

Not sure if this was you...
Is this the same SIL that wouldn't watch your child for 10 minutes, not even if he was plonked in front of the tv (until your DB returned home) so you could go to a emergency doctors appointment?
Her reasons being that she is too busy working, but is happy enough to ditch work when she feels like going to have her hair or nails done?

If it is ummmm i wouldn't be taking on a year long commitment as you know she isn't going to pay you back (if your DB is busy and cant watch your child) I'm sure your DB would appreciate it making his life so much easier, but the moment you have to stop or you have a sick child the shit will hit the fan about how you are letting them down etc
I would tell him no, in an emergency yes, but as a commitment everyday no

"we had an email at the end of term (July) to inform us that KS1 would be coming out from now on at 3:30 instead of 3:40"
That would be my first response TBH. 'You've known since July, why have you left it until now?' (well we know why, all the better to back you into a corner ...)

"No he finishes at 3:30 and pickup used to be at 3:40 it has been changed to 3:30 so he will still onl my be able to get there at 3:40 as I know he rushes like a maniac to do that as it was."
And would he still rush like a maniac when he would be rushing for you and not the school? Human nature, no he would NOT! He'd tell himself that sis would be fine to wait for 15, 20 ...

I would agree to do it for the first weekas a favour, point out he's had over 2 months to sort this out and CHOSE not to, tell him your very valid reasons why you're not going to commit to this, and leave him to it. It's time for him to put his big boy pants on and discuss this with his wife.

Has he asked yet?

Op come back! Did he ask yet?

Anyone else wondering who's doing the school pick-up this afternoon?

tdearoctopus yes me too! and probably moaning inside while doing it .

Did he ask? Whats happening? :)

I wouldn't do it. Be calm and firm and just say no. Don't give a reason - he doesn't need a chance to talk you out of it. You say. "I am very sorry but that won't be possible" and then you move on. If he asks why you say you don't want to. If you say "with baby on the way" it will be "well can you do it until baby arrives". If you offer to do 2 days a week they'll want to know why you can't do 3 or 4. Just say no. Accept they'll call you a bitch behind your back for a bit but this is their kid so their problem. You've already done them a favor and a one-off thing is SO much different to a long term commitment. What about hanging about outside for 10 mins when it is freezing and pissing down and you have a newborn and a cold... just no no and many sorts of no.

Is there no after school club? That is what parents normally do when they can't pick up at 3:30!

@RedSunflowers - what happened? Did your DB ask you and if he did what did you agree to do?

Did he not ask then?

I'd be saying 'ok, I've a favour to ask you too' and ask DB can he collect your DS everyday when he's collecting DN for the first 6-8 weeks of you having a newborn - you know in case newborn has done an explosive poo/is cluster feeding/has colic and won't lie in pram without screeching etc etc. You could offer a swap where you collect DN until newborn arrives.

I would do it. It's only 10 minutes for your brother.

I bet your mum has warned him off.

Has the OP not come back?!