Refused breastfeeding in a store

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So I went out for the day with 9mo DS. Thinking I'd just be gone a few hours, so could feed him when I got home. So wore a very feeding-unfriendly dress. Covered chin to knee with no openings.

As it turned out he wouldn't nap so instead of getting public transport home I walked in an effort to get a pram nap. Didn't work either.

On the way I picked up an item I'd ordered from a naice clothes shop chain, on Kings Rd where I was the only customer in the store. I spent £££ on the item and asked the lady if she minded if I quickly popped into one of the change rooms to feed the baby as he was probably dehydrated by this time. She said no, it was a health and safety issue. English wasn't her first language so I repeated myself slightly differently to ensure I was understood... I'd just be taking my dress off on the change room and sitting on the stool... she said no, not possible, but there is a Starbucks two doors down, I should try there.
As I wasn't keen to remove my dress in Starbucks, I carried on home as quickly as possible in order to get some milk into him (I had offered him water a number of times but he's not very keen on that yet).

Before I make any kind of official complaint... I ask you all, was IBU to do this? What are the legal rights of people to bf in a shop? I could obviously have pretended I was tying on a dress, taken baby in there and done it anyway...
And surely it's not actually a healthy and safety thing... folks get up to all sorts in dressing cubicles.

Clark maybe you should use ops time machine to go backwards to the 1950's

I think you were right, you shouldn't have gone under the guise of trying something on because breast feeding is natural and shouldn't have to be hidden. She was very wrong to say no. You should def email the store for an explanation and highlight the law.

Omg, I appreciate there's quite a few replies now but please, RTFT!!!!!!

Wasn't going to write until I just saw OP's last post on writing in...

You neglected to tell the whole story ... ie I had to fully undress as I wore the wrong clothes!

Shows a selfish streak ..... pop into the branch and just ask to have a quiet word with the manager or get the managers email.. the girl wasn't being nasty .... just lacked experience and empathy ....you said yourself it was just coming up to peak ...maybe they get busy at that time and she was worried you would be in the cubicle for 30+ mins
I would have said yes and so would most boutique managers & we would rather deal with in store staff training needs with the individual concerned .... no need for your current approach...

Ok - so some people in here are arguing about the legality of this situation as though there is a 'fact' out there in the world that if we cut and paste vigorously enough, we can establish. That's not how the law works.

It is illegal to prevent a woman from breastfeeding in a shop, restaurant or cafe in the UK. Whether it is legal to refuse a woman's request to breastfeed in a changing room has not been tested. If a case went to court, the ruling would set a precedent and that detail of the law would be established. Hasn't happened yet.

Lawyers would argue both ways because a case can be made for both sides. Do we want to spend hours second guessing how that case would pan out, OR, look at a couple of other ways of testing 'right' and 'wrong' ness?

1. Policy. According the company's policy and ethos, how the shop assistant acted was wrong. The company have put that right with their e-mail response.

2. Common sense. At a human level, it's kind and helpful to let a woman wanting privacy, breastfeed in a changing room in a quiet shop with vacant changing rooms.

Just spent hours trawling through posters getting their knickers in a twist about OP's choice of clothing and her water-offering policy. Bottom line, a shop assistant quoting H & S in the scenario she was in is just a bit of a shit attitude, eh?

Just sounds like the staff need some training

Sounds like the OP needs some training...in remembering how to dress herself!

Oh for pity's sake leave the woman alone... she popped out and didn't expect to be out so long, baby missed feed and was hungry!!!

she wore something inappropriate because she thought she would be home before baby needed feeding!!!

She most probably ran out of the juice or water she more than likely would have take!!!

...and for those of you saying that the baby could have waited a little longer until they were home, have none of you been hungry when out and about and on your way home popped into gregs for a tide you over pasty???

give the woman a break ...SHIT HAPPENS!!!

Oh for pity's sake leave the woman alone... she popped out and didn't expect to be out so long, baby missed feed and was hungry!!!

Except that's not what happened.
OP herself said that she wanted to bf because he 'thought he might be thirsty', not because he was hungry.

She most probably ran out of the juice or water she more than likely would have take!!!

No, she said herself that he does not drink juice or water & his only source of fluid is breast milk directly from breastfeeding.

Oh for pity's sake leave the woman alone

Exactly how I feel about the shop assistant who probacly got into trouble because of OP's mistake.

AIBU / HIGMKIAT? Definitely a storm in a teacup mostly caused by OP.

The poor choice of clothing is why the OP couldn't breast feed. The OP also said she chose this unsuitable outfit because she was intending to go home to breast feed. They are facts given by the OP in her first post.

The OP decided to stay out much longer than intended (shrug) and shop (still nbd) which I take to mean her baby was comfortable. Had I needed to strip off to feed my baby, I would have gone home. The OP made the situation more difficult for herself and then blamed others.

If a cafe wouldn't let you BF in public, I'd be up in arms for you. Would have breastfed anywhere in my BFing days, but I don't see a problem with her saying no. It's a changing cubicle to aid her selling clothes. I'd have A) accepted you have to wear BFing clothes whilst you're BFing and B) if it was that desperate pretended to be trying stuff on if it was only going to take 5-10 mins to feed and the shop was quiet. Doubt she broke the law.

Exactly what voldermortsnose says above.
Changing rooms are for customers trying on clothes and she might not have wanted one blocking while a lady fed her baby. My dd would have fed for over half an hour sometimes, should the store give its changing room for this long?

It would have been kind to allow it if the baby was upset but seeing as the baby wasn't distressed I really can't see the problem. It sounds to me like the op is trying to make a drama out of nothing.
I don't get why the assistant mentioned health and safety though, I'm guessing she just didn't know what to say so blamed h and s (which is frustrating).

Cant believe people are still banging on about this. Her fault she had a stupid dress on, not the shops. She also sounds like a daft racist.

Racist? Wherever did you get that from?

We all understand OP made a mistake with the dress and then staying out longer than intended, but making a mistake is no reason for someone not to be helpful to her when it would have been good customer service and wouldn't have cost them a penny (given the fact the shop was empty with 3 other changing rooms available should there be a sudden rush). In fact OP's mistake is really a complete red herring to the customer service issue, anyone could want privacy to feed for any number of reasons. It happens in this case OP wouldn't normally have been bothered about privacy, but that doesn't mean that it was an unreasonable request or that the assistant was reasonable to refuse it. As acknowledged by the management.

If the shop was busy I'd have more sympathy for them. Though still think it's legally debatable - changing rooms are an area of the shop that the public are allowed to be in, and legally if you're allowed to be there and there's no (non-imaginary!) H&S issues, you're allowed to feed there.

I think the op is being unreasonable. Can't be arsed to go into details as to why, but the short of it is you chose to wear a dress that you couldn't breastfeed in and were told you couldn't use the changing room. I think the health and safety reason is a bit off but can kind of think why and also, changing rooms are for customers to change in and why should you (who chose the wrong outfit) be priority over a customer looking to try on an outfit? I understand they were all empty at the time, but if peak time was approaching they would more than likely fill up.

I read that as peak travelling time not peak shopping time quack.

Text have you never made a mistake? Just because there's been a mistake it doesn't mean its ok for a shop to act unlawfully

Oh, I apologise then. Thank you catkind.

Goose I don't think the shop did act unlawfully though. I think the op should have just walked in as she couldn't be stopped or removed, but the shop (I understand the shop policy has been mentioned) worker didn't do anything wrong to say no to the changing rooms, I'd imagine they want them free so shoppers can use them to change in.

If course I make mistakes. I try not to blame other people for them.

The shop didn't act unlawfully imho. The OP couldn't breastfeed in her bra and pants and so needed an extra accomodation that (at the time) the sales assistant was unwilling to provide. Poor customer service without doubt. As another poster has suggested there are much better places to feed babies nearby if the OP didn't want to go home (as was her original intent).

This isn't about being pro or anti breastfeeding. I breast fed and would be keen to support others to do so. It isn't binary; I can be supportive of breast feeding and also feel that the op made a minor error of judgement and then made a disproportionate fuss.

This is AIBU and every post by the OP confirms to me that she was. Let's agree to disagree.

You might want to have a pleasant chat with the store management or there HO if theyre a chain
Thus
In England and Wales, your right to breastfeed in public is covered by The Equality Act 2010 which states, "A business cannot discriminate against mothers who are breastfeeding a child of any age."

I've done the unhelpful dress and bf baby before. It happens. I agree that you should of just grabbed something random to "try on".

This is bizzare. Never once in 6 1/2 years of breastfeeding (not in a row) did I consider a shop changing room an appropriate place to feed a baby. Nor would it occur to me to ask to use such a space. This is one of the reasons why there is such a divide with feeding babies. People make it too political, and get all entitled.

@mytilini OFFS!!! How was she discriminated against? She was perfectly within her rights to start breastfeeding wherever she happened to be when the baby required it, but you cant just demand to do whatever you want just because you're breastfeeding! She was not refused to feed, she was refused to use a specific section of the shop which plays a vital role to the success of the business for other purposes.

She already said there was a language barrier, perhaps the shop assistant thought she meant being fed from a jar which could be very messy.

How is it illegal? She did not stop you breastfeeding. Your baby is 9 months old, I am sure he was ok missing a feed if he had lunch.

"when the baby required it,"

Which it didn't!