Refused breastfeeding in a store

[cakeandteajustforme]

So I went out for the day with 9mo DS. Thinking I'd just be gone a few hours, so could feed him when I got home. So wore a very feeding-unfriendly dress. Covered chin to knee with no openings.

As it turned out he wouldn't nap so instead of getting public transport home I walked in an effort to get a pram nap. Didn't work either.

On the way I picked up an item I'd ordered from a naice clothes shop chain, on Kings Rd where I was the only customer in the store. I spent £££ on the item and asked the lady if she minded if I quickly popped into one of the change rooms to feed the baby as he was probably dehydrated by this time. She said no, it was a health and safety issue. English wasn't her first language so I repeated myself slightly differently to ensure I was understood... I'd just be taking my dress off on the change room and sitting on the stool... she said no, not possible, but there is a Starbucks two doors down, I should try there.
As I wasn't keen to remove my dress in Starbucks, I carried on home as quickly as possible in order to get some milk into him (I had offered him water a number of times but he's not very keen on that yet).

Before I make any kind of official complaint... I ask you all, was IBU to do this? What are the legal rights of people to bf in a shop? I could obviously have pretended I was tying on a dress, taken baby in there and done it anyway...
And surely it's not actually a healthy and safety thing... folks get up to all sorts in dressing cubicles.

She should have let you but it does sound a bit like you're itching to make a point about it. You don't mention at all that your son was screaming or upset, just that he 'might be dehydrated'. Unless it was a further 2-3 hours to get home then I'm not sure why you felt you had to feed him then? Also not sure why you didn't just go in and do it if I'm honest.

For all they know, women might feed babies in their changing room all the time - they may well just take in a dress and then feed the baby while they're in there without asking. So they are absurd to claim there's a health & safety impact.

You were a customer, too - it's not like you'd just walked in expecting to be accommodated (and frankly they should have said yes even if you had). What a bunch of gits. I would complain.

How can it be illegal to not provide a changing room for breastfeeding?

It's illegal in the UK to stop a woman breastfeeding anywhere where a woman would normally be allowed (so a men's toilet probably off-limits, but most other places OK). As I said above, genuine H&S would be applied - you wouldn't be allowed to bf while driving.

You might not want to take up a changing room in a busy shop, but you can bf on the shop floor.

It's illegal to ask a breastfeeding mother to stop or leave, so if anything at all you were doing them a favour by suggesting you go somewhere out of sight.

I'd complain and suggest to the manager that they train their staff on the law, as well as customer service.

I asked my health visitor about feeding in shops/cafes etc and she told me that it is now against the law to refuse a woman to do so

As there was absolutely no way this was causing the shop any inconvenience it is appalling that they denied you access to feed. If it was very busy then I could understand (but still wouldn't agree with) the shop wanting to keep the changing rooms free for people making a potential purchase but as it was empty that's not an excuse. Clearly though others here think that a baby should go hungry/thirsty for longer than necessary because you needed a bit of privacy to feed

Name and shame the shop, the staff need to be trained properly, I imagine the higher ups won't like the fact they have potentially lost a frequent paying customer because of one snotty uninformed shop assistant.

Agreed that she could bf on the shop floor but not legally entitled to demand use of a changing room.
Imagine a shop with only 2 changing rooms which happened to be occupied by 2 breastfeeding mothers? I cannot believe the law requires them to give bf mothers over customers.

Definitely complain. I'd have asked for a refund on the item of clothing you purchased too - hit them where it hurts.

Unicorn she absolutely was obliged to let her breastfeed

She was the only customer in the store - the cubicles were all empty. She should have been allowed to use one after asking.

Yabu they may have needed it for other customers

YANBU

Why didn't you just grab an item and pretend to try it on? I wouldn't have even asked!

I don't think it was illegal to refuse you at all. The law refers not stopping people from BFing in public, it doesn't mean that everyone everywhere has to provide you with facilities to do it.

Yabu they may have needed it for other customers OP was a customer!

If they had more than one changing room then it was unkind of her not to let you use one when the shop was empty.

I'm boggling a bit at a dress that goes from knee to chin with no openings though. Does it have a massive polo neck? Can you really only bf by taking the entire thing off? Must admit when I was bf mine I'd always wear something 'accessible' when out and about in case of delays etc.

I'd contact the company and ask them what is their policy re: breastfeeding instore. If the employee was in the wrong then the company needs to ensure it doesn't happen again.

It just sounds as if it was a member of staff not understanding the rules. Just needs a bit of training. It could be that had you got the manager or another member of staff they would have waved you through no problem.

Contact the store about her saying it was due to health and safety - she needs some retraining. But I wouldn't 'complain' about being denied access as such.

I can see why they wouldn't want you taking up a changing room maybe (though I have BF in changing rooms - and made shop assistants aware that I may be some time will trying on x as the baby might need feeding too), but she should have said that if that was the case.

Actually I don't think they were obliged to let you breastfeed in their changing room. The purpose of the changing room is for customers trying on clothes, not the breastfeeding of babies or anything else. You wouldn't assume you could eat your lunch or change into some clothes you have brought in from elsewhere. They need to have access to the facility for people using it for the purpose it was intended.

You have a right not to be treated less favourably than anyone else. You don't have the right to breastfeed absolutely any where you want.

That said, the health and safety excuse was bollocks and I would wonder about what sort of attitude would make someone say no to breastfeeding as a one off but I don't think it's worth a complaint.

Jesus.. With some of these replies, no wonder BF is at an all time low on this country. Why do people get so upset about a woman wanting to BF a baby wherever and whenever they want? Just because it's something you might not need to do, why get so high and mighty about it?

KatyBerry - Equalities Act 2010 makes it illegal. See for example:

www.which.co.uk/consumer-rights/advice/what-are-my-rights-when-breastfeeding-in-public

though as stated upthread, the fact that she asked to take up the changing room MIGHT be a grey area. It probably actually isn't though - they can't stop you bf in any public place. So if shop assistant had said 'I'm sorry you can't bf in there but you can here on this seat outside the changing room' then to be honest they probably would still have broken the law. You can't tell someone they can't bf somewhere UNLESS genuine H&S - eg while driving.

So, assistant saying 'Sorry you can't bf simply sitting on that chair in our shop in the changing room because of H&S' = most definitely illegal & in breach of 2010 Equality Act.

Thanks all, I think I will email their customer service people to complain.
To address a couple of points raised - this is literally the first time I've worn non bf clothing in 9 months... yes I should have just worn my staple jeans and tahirt but the weather was funny on Monday and I really wanted to wear an autumn dress. I'm of course always putting the baby first and had it been a really urgent thing I would have gone up to Peter jones and used their parents room. I had fed him at 10.30 and it was 4pm when I was at the shop. He'd missed his 2pm feed but also hadn't had his afternoon nap.. just one of those days.
The shop, I won't name and shame for fear of dailyfail-ing, had approx four cubicles, all free. I bought a pair of boots not clothes so didn't need to go into the change room to try them on... I could have just gone in I guess but for a sense of politeness I suppose I mentioned what I planned to do rather than just going and doing it. As I said, I was the only one in the shop so at the time I didn't think it would be necessary to pretend to try on clothing in order to use the cubicle, but equally thought it would be a bit odd if I just wandered in there with the baby and nothing else.

I would call the store and ask what their breastfeeding policy is. Not because I think she was right, but because it allows you to find out their position before they start on the defensive. In the last three retail stores I have worked in our policy was to allow breastfeeding wherever a woman needed to do so, and if the woman requested a more private space to do it then we should offer the ladies changing rooms and show her where they were.

If that is also this store's policy then it would be interesting to see what their response to an employee refusing to carry out those instructions is. I know they legally can't stop you breastfeeding or tell you you can't, but I do think it is at the store's discretion (note: not the individual employee!) as to whether they can or do provide a more private area. Considering my experiences with the matter, I would be surprised if most clothing stores with changing rooms didn't offer those as a private place for women to breastfeed should they not feel comfortable doing so on the shop floor.

Did your baby need a feed before you got home?

This probably just reflects the shop assistant not knowing whether it was allowed. A lot of employees aren't given discretion to deviate from their usual routine and are worried about getting in trouble. 'Health and safety' and 'data protection' are often the reasons given for saying "no" when it's really an issue of 'I haven't encountered this before and don't want to get in trouble for making the wrong decision'.

You could certainly write to them so that their employee can be put straight. I agree that they don't have a legal obligation to let you access a restricted area to BF but most companies would be keen to oblige, particularly given the bad press that can quickly follow an incident like this!

The only source of hydration your 9 month old child gets is breast milk?