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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Refused breastfeeding in a store

363 replies

cakeandteajustforme · 07/09/2017 10:05

So I went out for the day with 9mo DS. Thinking I'd just be gone a few hours, so could feed him when I got home. So wore a very feeding-unfriendly dress. Covered chin to knee with no openings.

As it turned out he wouldn't nap so instead of getting public transport home I walked in an effort to get a pram nap. Didn't work either.

On the way I picked up an item I'd ordered from a naice clothes shop chain, on Kings Rd where I was the only customer in the store. I spent £££ on the item and asked the lady if she minded if I quickly popped into one of the change rooms to feed the baby as he was probably dehydrated by this time. She said no, it was a health and safety issue. English wasn't her first language so I repeated myself slightly differently to ensure I was understood... I'd just be taking my dress off on the change room and sitting on the stool... she said no, not possible, but there is a Starbucks two doors down, I should try there.
As I wasn't keen to remove my dress in Starbucks, I carried on home as quickly as possible in order to get some milk into him (I had offered him water a number of times but he's not very keen on that yet).

Before I make any kind of official complaint... I ask you all, was IBU to do this? What are the legal rights of people to bf in a shop? I could obviously have pretended I was tying on a dress, taken baby in there and done it anyway...
And surely it's not actually a healthy and safety thing... folks get up to all sorts in dressing cubicles.

OP posts:
ErrolTheDragon · 07/09/2017 10:09

Given that some people think women should feed their baby in a loo, a changing room sounds very safe and healthy. I very much doubt there is any such HSE rule.

Chiselle · 07/09/2017 10:11

" folks get up to all sorts in dressing cubicles"Grin you what?! I've never done anything more exciting than change a bra.

No, I don't think you would be unreasonable to raise this with the store if this happened. Health and safety excuse is clearly bollocks.

TheInimitableMrsFanshawe · 07/09/2017 10:11

It was illegal for her to refuse you, but perhaps she didn't know this. Ask the store to make all employees aware.

kaytee87 · 07/09/2017 10:11

She was wrong to refuse you.

Spam88 · 07/09/2017 10:13

Of course there's no health and safety reason why you couldn't, but people love that excuse don't they 🙄 Legally I don't think they'd have to allow you use of one of the changing rooms, although of course you'd be allowed to feed in the store in general, but given they were quiet so you wouldn't have been preventing customers trying on clothes, I think she was being a bit ridiculous not to let you.

amusedbush · 07/09/2017 10:13

Considering when I worked in retail I found stinky old clothes that a shoplifter had left behind, bloody tissues, people having sex and actual human shit in the changing rooms... I'd welcome a breastfeeding mother.

I'd make a complaint.

TheFaerieQueene · 07/09/2017 10:15

What chance do we have when women have this attitude to breast feeding?

wildbhoysmama · 07/09/2017 10:16

Is it illegal yet in England? It's been illegal.in Scotland for years, breast feeding HAS to be allowed everywhere and anywhere.

EamonnWright · 07/09/2017 10:16

I doubt its illegal.

Timeforabiscuit · 07/09/2017 10:17

Absolutely raise it!

For goodness sake a changing room would have been great! I wish i thought of that while breast feeding rather than the loos Sad

KatherinaMinola · 07/09/2017 10:18

Which naice clothes shop? Name and shame.

Lethaldrizzle · 07/09/2017 10:18

You don't need to ask. You can breast feed anywhere. No one can actually stop you. Are they going to pull the baby off your nipple? It never happened to me but there is no way I'd stop breastfeeding for anyone!

SignoraStronza · 07/09/2017 10:18

I don't know why you'd bother asking to be honest. Just grab an item of clothing as if you were going to try on, sit down and get on with it. If you make a performance of it by faffing about and explaining, it just gives them ther opportunity to say no.

FizzyGreenWater · 07/09/2017 10:19

Yes she broke the law, though not sure if she wouldn't have to be obliged to let you take up a changing room. She cant stop you feeding in the shop though. I'd look up the law, phone the shop and ask them to make employees aware of it (which might mean that in future she would say yes of course you can bf but im afraid we need to use the cubicles).

Health and safety is bollocks so I'd also mention that she said this and suggest that if their employees don't even know the law re bf, then perhaps they shouldn't fling round other legal terms they have no idea about.

KatherinaMinola · 07/09/2017 10:19

It is illegal Eamonn. Bf mothers must be allowed to bf anywhere (unless actually a H&S issue - eg whilst driving).

NK493efc93X1277dd3d6d4 · 07/09/2017 10:21

How can it be illegal to not provide a changing room for breastfeeding?
It was definitely unhelpful and you should have just grabbed an item and gone in anyway - but not illegal.
Complain to HO - you spent money in their empty shop and could easily have been accommodated.

junglebookisthebest · 07/09/2017 10:21

See I would never have asked - just grabbed any old item and gone in. In fact thats exactly what I've done before.
My attitude to breastfeeding has never been to ask or apologise or draw attention to it. It seems to work as no one has ever commented and have been publicly breastfeeding 2 children for at least 3 years...
Next time don't ask!

Lethaldrizzle · 07/09/2017 10:21

Yes name and shame. Let's get it in the daily mail!

KatyBerry · 07/09/2017 10:21

what statute makes it illegal? that's nonsense.
I also have sympathy with the store being asked to make an essential amenity unavailable to its customers because you wore an inappropriate outfit and stayed out for so long you were concerned that your child was dehydrated. Next time you'll know to wear something that you can slip off your shoulder / lift and / or organise your time better. Quite apart from which, at 9 mths old if you really were concerned about dehydration, some water would have done the trick.

RedBlackberries · 07/09/2017 10:22

I breastfed in a very posh shop my friend works in when dd was about the same age..... to the sound of another shop assistant going urgh yuk (he was joking though).

Name and shame the shop!

NK493efc93X1277dd3d6d4 · 07/09/2017 10:23

NK it may be illegal to stop people breastfeeding but I can't believe you have to allow them to do it in restricted areas of your premises?
The OP could have done it in the main area perhaps but she wanted a private space due to her clothing. Hardly the shop's legal responsibility.

KatyBerry · 07/09/2017 10:23

(i think the point is that she was not stopping you from breastfeeding - which she can'tt - but she was saying you could not use her private store amenity to do it in which you only needed because you'd picked out an unaccomodating dress)

MagicMarkers · 07/09/2017 10:23

It was a bit silly wearing a dress unsuitable for breastfeeding when going out with a breastfed baby. If you'd worn something else you could have breastfed anywhere. Really this problem was of your own making.

NK493efc93X1277dd3d6d4 · 07/09/2017 10:24

Yes name the shop - they deserve it as they were spectacularly unhelpful.

UnicornSparkles1 · 07/09/2017 10:24

She wasn't obliged to let you use the changing rooms to feed your baby. However, you were legally entitled to feed your baby in the store. I'm pretty sure that if you started to unbutton your dress in the middle of the store that she would have changed her stance!

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