Refused breastfeeding in a store

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So I went out for the day with 9mo DS. Thinking I'd just be gone a few hours, so could feed him when I got home. So wore a very feeding-unfriendly dress. Covered chin to knee with no openings.

As it turned out he wouldn't nap so instead of getting public transport home I walked in an effort to get a pram nap. Didn't work either.

On the way I picked up an item I'd ordered from a naice clothes shop chain, on Kings Rd where I was the only customer in the store. I spent £££ on the item and asked the lady if she minded if I quickly popped into one of the change rooms to feed the baby as he was probably dehydrated by this time. She said no, it was a health and safety issue. English wasn't her first language so I repeated myself slightly differently to ensure I was understood... I'd just be taking my dress off on the change room and sitting on the stool... she said no, not possible, but there is a Starbucks two doors down, I should try there.
As I wasn't keen to remove my dress in Starbucks, I carried on home as quickly as possible in order to get some milk into him (I had offered him water a number of times but he's not very keen on that yet).

Before I make any kind of official complaint... I ask you all, was IBU to do this? What are the legal rights of people to bf in a shop? I could obviously have pretended I was tying on a dress, taken baby in there and done it anyway...
And surely it's not actually a healthy and safety thing... folks get up to all sorts in dressing cubicles.

she was being a twat, but really I think life is too short for battling this incident

you knew you were out for the day, you could have dressed better and just gone to a café or park or museum or somewhere calm and fed there

as magic said could you not have readied yourself for this inevitable incident? or fed the baby water, its not like they are a mewling new-born

Sorry that's me....ASD son having amelt down as I type.
I meant Equality Act that prevents discrimation.
Being breastfeeding peer support, I do know the Act....just typed wrong word

Her whim was to wear a completely inappropriate outfit to suit her / her child's breasfeeding needs, because autumn.
her next whim was to bypass peter jones' excellent facilities and expect the naice shop to provide those facilities (which they don't have, not being a five storey, entire block property)
and so on...

Fizzy a shop open to the public comes under the act as well.
If you go into John Lewis or M and S, they know the Equality Act prevents them harassing breastfeeding women.
Sorry, but you're incorrect saying shops can ask mums not to feed.

Why would you understand my cut and pastes any better when you haven't understood those you have quoted yourself fizzy?

If you would like me to give you advice about the Equality Act I am very happy to do so. PM me for my rates.

Moving - all I can see in your posts is nothing which disagrees with what I've said though. You state the grey area which is that she doesn't have the right to feed anywhere she wants, and that the H&S excuse is balls. That's what I've said about the grey area, but the fact that the assistant told her she could NOT bf was where she slipped up as she can't say 'you can't bf here' (and especially not say it's because of h&s).

Aaaaaaargh I have too uch work to do for this....

I'm being deliberately goady? And calling me thick - does that always improve your debates, resorting to name calling?

The legislation does not differentiate between on demand breastfeeding and regular breastfeeding. If the OP had said that her baby had been demanding to be fed, would you be saying something different then?

What a cow. When DS was born I popped into White Stuff with him in the carrier and one of the staff told me I was welcome to use their changing rooms to feed anytime. It was completely unsolicited by me and restored my faith in my fellow humans a bit. They've gotten a lot more of my business because of that kind gesture.

@katy please stop derailing the thread. Your first posts were useful and helpful (I'm no lawyer so struggling to tell which side of the debate is correct) but these last few posts of yours are quite unpleasant! As it happened he slept the whole way home after the shop experience and I fed him as soon as we arrived. As it's now Thursday and he's still fine I don't think there was any long term damage to our afternoon of exercise and fresh air

The shop, I won't name and shame for fear of dailyfail-ing

So what?

You want to protect this store from being named in the media, when you were prevented from breastfeeding in it?

Why?

I expect its an employee who is oblivious to the laws of the land.Just contact the store higher up and make sure they are aware of it and next time dont ask

yes i'd be saying she was even more stupid to go out covered ankle to neck for five hours and ignore the available facilities and instead require adjustments and accommodations. She knows that.

There's wilful misinterpretation here of the word of the legislation as well as the intention of it.

You can't see the bit where I say denying a woman the use of a changing room to breastfeed is not illegal? Erm, okay...

To be honest KatyBerry, I agreed with you regarding the changing room sotuation. It is a shame that your last few posts have been so unpleasant.

Hi

I work in retail and the chain of shops I work in often has mothers with young children browsing and there have been a number of situations were women have come in and breast fed which is absolutely fine I find it the most natural thing in the world and if other customers comment I ask them to move on.

The shop assistant has no right to stop you from breastfeeding in the shop but to echo other people they were under no legal obligation to provide you with a private place to do it.

I think they were probably confused in regards to the health and safety laws but let me give you an example if the employee gives you permission to breastfeed in that changing room and you fall or the seat breaks while you are in there they along with the company become liable because they have given you permission to breastfeed somewhere that isn't specifically equipped for it and has had no health and safety checks to see if it is safe and suitable for that purpose which would be a break in health and safety laws.

As for myself I always offer the customer a spare seat to sit on in a low footfall area of the shop but legally I cannot let any member of the public go into off limits areas such as our staff toilet or staff room because to get there they would have to go through the loading bay which we are not insured for and is a massive health and safety no no.

she was being a twat, but really I think life is too short for battling this incident

Is it? OK, the OP is unlikely ever to be in this situation in this branch again but there are other nursing mothers and other branches. A politely worded, non-combative email to their HQ may just result in an internal memo to shop staff in support of nursing mothers.

you

have

not

cut

and

pasted

anything

If this post (which is the only detailed one I can see) is a cut and paste, then it does not disagree with anything I have cut and pasted:

Actually I don't think they were obliged to let you breastfeed in their changing room. The purpose of the changing room is for customers trying on clothes, not the breastfeeding of babies or anything else. You wouldn't assume you could eat your lunch or change into some clothes you have brought in from elsewhere. They need to have access to the facility for people using it for the purpose it was intended.

You have a right not to be treated less favourably than anyone else. You don't have the right to breastfeed absolutely any where you want.

That said, the health and safety excuse was bollocks and I would wonder about what sort of attitude would make someone say no to breastfeeding as a one off but I don't think it's worth a complaint.

I don't get the ire AT ALL. I have NO individual understanding of the law so I have looked for information and posted it plainly and that is what it said - and it seems to agree entirely with what you have said anyway.

So, I am puzzled, and am leaving the thread as I have too much to do to continue for now. As for posting misinformation, don't waste your time telling me, get onto Which? and maternityaction.org instead if you think the info posted is incorrect.

The point now is that I have the opportunity to help the store improve their policy/training for staff such that should someone want to feed their baby in one of their stores in future, they won't be met with such unhelpful staff

Complain

I had a similar episode when DS was a baby a few years ago - I was actually in a well known pharmacy chain and asked if I could breastfeed in one of their consultation rooms - was told NO.

Excellent post Raizel.

I don't think Katy is derailing. She is getting it in the neck for pointing out (perfectly reasonably) that if one must cast blame around for the baby not being fed (which it sounds like nobody needs to do) then the only person to blame is the op who was inappropriately dressed for the task and chose not to use the facilities easily available nearby in Peter Jones.

It's one of those unfortunate things that happens as a parent but the baby was unharmed, the shop did not behave unlawfully although it didn't deliver amazing service either by getting the H&S stuff wrong.

Storm in a teacup.

Although what is interesting is that there is a famous children brand store that actively offers BF mothers a changing room for privacy. In light of Raizel's post, I wonder how clever that is now.

It's illegal for them to ask you to leave if you're breastfeeding in the shop, in an open space, but I don't think they are obliged to offer you a private space.

OP - why didn't you just pretend to try something on and take him in anyway?

Wow fizzy you must be super busy to have misread so much of what I have posted! Or maybe your reading compression is just super low?

I have not cut and pasted anything, or said I have, because I would quote the same stuff as you, stuff that you do not understand. I have not disagreed with the content of what you have cut and pasted; I am disagreeing with your understanding and interpretation of that quoted information.