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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Was she being unreasonable? (First date thing)

236 replies

FallingOrbit · 06/09/2017 16:13

Afternoon peeps.

Went on a bit of a date last night with someone I met about a week ago. We met when I did a fairly large job for her (I'm a tree surgeon and she had a large leylandii she needed removing) - did the job, had a bit of a laugh with her on the day and her 4 year old daughter.

Anyway she had my mobile number and later that night she text me to say great job etc etc and we just ended up texting and the odd phone call for about a week after the job, eventually she got around to the "fancy a drink one night" kinda thing. I said sure why not.

So off we go on our "date"- we only went to a nice quiet pub I know for some food, I drove so she could have a drink (she only had 2 glasses of wine though) and we had a really nice time, lots of laughing and getting to know each other, seemed to be going well.

On the drive home (as in to take her home about 9pm) my GPS piped up with "Turn Left in 100 yards" because it thought I was going home and "home" appeared on the screen. She said "oh you live up there? Can I see your house?" I thought ok sure. So we head up my road, I point and say "that one there" - she said "So aren't you going to invite me in for coffee?" (yes, she did say exactly that)

So, sure thing. Into the house we go (and NO I wasn't taking coffee to mean anything other than coffee but it wouldn't matter anyway as you will soon see) - she FLIPPED HER LID. I had a chainsaw on the floor in the hallway and a very (very) large chainsaw on the floor in the kitchen. She wen't completely bonkers and started with "OMG what if my daughter was here she could cut her self"
"You shouldn't leave things like that lying around it's dangerous" and so on.

My response was "well your daughter isn't here, is she?! If she was they wouldn't be there"

She said "Take me home, I can't deal with this"

So I did. I made attempts to reason with her on the 20 min drive back to hers, no joy. She just got out and I haven't heard from her since.

I'm not bothered that I haven't heard from her, I just want to know what others make of this.

The only reason they were there is because I was running slightly late for our "date" because a job ran over a bit and instead of messing around unlocking the garage etc I just grabbed them from the trailer, dumped them where I dumped them and got straight in the shower so I could pick her up on time. It's not like I normally keep them there and I wasn't at all expecting us to end up at my place (for any reason)

Was she being unreasonable?

OP posts:
LadyOfTheCanyon · 07/09/2017 13:31

She needs to take some tips from @NoCapes about how to woo a gardener/tree surgeon!

Tell me, OP, have you got green eyes..?Grin

Luttrell · 07/09/2017 13:35

What a bellend :D She probably sees the while world as her own child's playground. You're well rid. Imagine trying to have sex with someone who kept saying 'but what if my kid was here?' Or sitting through a film. 'Psst... this horror film is very unsuitable for my child, who is not here.'

FuckYouLinda · 07/09/2017 14:46

That is Performance Parenting at it's most dedicated.

ItsNachoCheese · 07/09/2017 14:51

You had a lucky escape id say

FallingOrbit · 07/09/2017 15:37

Just as an update for anyone interested, she hasn't been in touch as such, but she has tried to add me on snapchat.... :/

Which is strange because my SC username isn't my actual name...

But having said that I think you can add people via their phone number.
Have declined the request.

OP posts:
ArcheryAnnie · 07/09/2017 15:41

Or sitting through a film. 'Psst... this horror film is very unsuitable for my child, who is not here.'

Bingo!

Bullet dodged, FallingOrbit. Do feel free to update us on any further journeys into romance, though. This one was a corker.

MummytoCSJH · 07/09/2017 15:51

'Imagine if my daughter was here' ??? Why would she be imagining it after one date?! This woman is crazy Hmm

Lottey90 · 07/09/2017 15:58

Don't give up dating op. I in South Wales and a chain saw in your house is nothing compared to what I've had to put up with from the last few men Wink

Cupcakey · 07/09/2017 16:35

Total nutter!!! Definitely a lucky escape you've had Smilex

SaucyJack · 07/09/2017 16:38

Send her back snapchat photos of you and your chainsaw in inappropriate places.

1969angep · 07/09/2017 17:27

Yep she's as mad as a bag of frogs 😂

Orchidiona · 07/09/2017 17:39

my god,imagine going into a tree surgeons house and finding the tools of the trade completely diabolocal 😂😂😂😂 she sounds like she would boil your bunny

user1476641978 · 07/09/2017 17:40

Massive lucky escape for you she sounds totally unreasonable and nuts.

brotherphil · 07/09/2017 17:49

I recall looking around at wall to ceiling weaponry

Yep been there.

In fact, thinking about it, I used to be that bloke. I'd sit the salesmen and missionaries down facing it while I made a cuppa. Great for short visits.

OJZJ · 07/09/2017 17:51

Sounds like she had mentally already married you and moved the pair of them in....

Smudge100 · 07/09/2017 18:22

Mad woman. What people do in their own home is their business and who invites themselves into the house of someone they barely know anyway, let alone starts dictating what they can and can't keep there? That little diversion probably saved you a lot of grief. Be glad!

MumsTheWordYouKnow · 07/09/2017 18:28

The fact she asked to go round to your house after one date sounds a bit weird to start with then to dictate what you should have in your house is even weirder. Fatal attraction springs to mind.

letsdolunch321 · 07/09/2017 18:39

You are well rid, what woman invites herself back to yours for coffee.

Block her number and move on.

Put it down to experience, we all have them !!

Good luck 😁

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 07/09/2017 18:49

Lucky escape

Lindsxxx · 07/09/2017 19:08

I'm gonna buck the trend....
Could it be that she doesn't get out that much and maybe two glasses of wine and she's anybody's? So she drunkenly asks to go back to yours, and then possibly has chance to sober up a tad and realise that she may have put herself into a position she didn't want to be in and this is the off the cuff way to get you to take her home? She's maybe kicking herself right now, texting her mates "I've met someone I really hit it off with but I think I've scared him away by doing something totally crazy"

Also, I find it weird that you have sat nav set to your house - surely you know where you live? 😳 (If I'm coming from somewhere I'm not quite sure how to get home I usually switch off satnav when I get to somewhere I recognize) ?

Gorgosparta · 07/09/2017 19:19

So she drunkenly asks to go back to yours, and then possibly has chance to sober up a tad and realise that she may have put herself into a position she didn't want to be in and this is the off the cuff way to get you to take her home?

In the space of time it takes to drive 100 yards and walk through the door?

Gorgosparta · 07/09/2017 19:20

Also i have my sat nav set up for home. Helps avoid traffic.

Worriedrose · 07/09/2017 19:23

Isn't Snapchat what 13 year olds use!!!

JemmyBloocher · 07/09/2017 19:28

I'd be desperate to text her/sc her asking if she knows she's a lunatic.

FallingOrbit · 07/09/2017 19:40

She wasn't drunk. At all. And I don't see what's weird about me having my satnav set to "home" - I travel to places I've never been every day for work, and I have "home" programmed in so I can just hit a button and it takes me out of town/county and avoids busy roads. It's not like I don't know where my house is.

As for snapchat, I'm sure 13 year olds do use it, me and my mates just use it as an easy and free photo messaging service between our selves.

OP posts:
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