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AIBU?

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Original poster

Was she being unreasonable? (First date thing)

236 replies

FallingOrbit · 06/09/2017 16:13

Afternoon peeps.

Went on a bit of a date last night with someone I met about a week ago. We met when I did a fairly large job for her (I'm a tree surgeon and she had a large leylandii she needed removing) - did the job, had a bit of a laugh with her on the day and her 4 year old daughter.

Anyway she had my mobile number and later that night she text me to say great job etc etc and we just ended up texting and the odd phone call for about a week after the job, eventually she got around to the "fancy a drink one night" kinda thing. I said sure why not.

So off we go on our "date"- we only went to a nice quiet pub I know for some food, I drove so she could have a drink (she only had 2 glasses of wine though) and we had a really nice time, lots of laughing and getting to know each other, seemed to be going well.

On the drive home (as in to take her home about 9pm) my GPS piped up with "Turn Left in 100 yards" because it thought I was going home and "home" appeared on the screen. She said "oh you live up there? Can I see your house?" I thought ok sure. So we head up my road, I point and say "that one there" - she said "So aren't you going to invite me in for coffee?" (yes, she did say exactly that)

So, sure thing. Into the house we go (and NO I wasn't taking coffee to mean anything other than coffee but it wouldn't matter anyway as you will soon see) - she FLIPPED HER LID. I had a chainsaw on the floor in the hallway and a very (very) large chainsaw on the floor in the kitchen. She wen't completely bonkers and started with "OMG what if my daughter was here she could cut her self"
"You shouldn't leave things like that lying around it's dangerous" and so on.

My response was "well your daughter isn't here, is she?! If she was they wouldn't be there"

She said "Take me home, I can't deal with this"

So I did. I made attempts to reason with her on the 20 min drive back to hers, no joy. She just got out and I haven't heard from her since.

I'm not bothered that I haven't heard from her, I just want to know what others make of this.

The only reason they were there is because I was running slightly late for our "date" because a job ran over a bit and instead of messing around unlocking the garage etc I just grabbed them from the trailer, dumped them where I dumped them and got straight in the shower so I could pick her up on time. It's not like I normally keep them there and I wasn't at all expecting us to end up at my place (for any reason)

Was she being unreasonable?

OP posts:
LetZygonsbeZygones · 06/09/2017 23:52

YANBU. As we speak, I have a guillotine in the living room along with an industrial sized glue gun and a laminating machine. Next door in the bedroom I have enough blood pressure medication to fell a buffalo. What if my toddler granddaughter was here? She could have severed some limbs, burned herself with the glue gun, laminated a set of cloakroom names/pics to her head and by way of an encore chugged down my medication. Oh wait though, she's 300 miles away so I guess these hazards don't pose too big a risk at present. Dear Lord, you dodged a bullet there luv. Total drama llama. Before you block her I'd tell her to "buzzzzzzzz off"

MyOtherProfile · 07/09/2017 05:07

this could be an elaborate plan to get out of paying for your efforts and embarrass you out of contacting her for payment?

O man I really hope she's not tried that.

strawberrisc · 07/09/2017 05:43

I'd be more upset if you were a gynaecologist and let your work in the kitchen.

Bubwiser · 07/09/2017 06:14

Skim read initially so I missed the part about you being a tree surgeon. I thought she freaked out about seeing two huge chainsaws randomly placed around the house, but no, she flipped out imagining her daughter cutting her finger on them! You are so not being unreasonable, and she sounds batty.

DorisDangleberry · 07/09/2017 06:18

How much blood was on the floor? Had you tidied away all the limbs?

AuntieStella · 07/09/2017 07:09

She thought she was being lured for the purposes of murder.

The combo of the satnav (which could quite reasonable by seen as a sign of intent on your part) and the unmistakeable presence of chainsaws is unsettling, especially if you like slasher films.

Maybe she's read 'The Gift of Fear' recently.

To serial killer: 'why did these women go there with you?'
Answer: 'they were too polite to just leave early'

echt · 07/09/2017 07:32

As a non tree surgeon, I keep my chainsaw in the garage. And say nothing about the five axes.:o

Tidying up in the garage after my DH died was a revelation, axe-wise. It's like Lizzie Borden's heaven down there, I tell ya.

OP, plainly a very silly woman, especially as a chainsaw on floor can't cut anyone.

MyOtherProfile · 07/09/2017 07:34

AuntieStella it was her suggestion to go to his house so she could see it (presumably to fuel her fantasy of when she and her daughter move in with OP) and then once outside invited herself in for coffee so she could start a Pinterest board for decorating ideas post moving in so OP was doing no luring!

AuntieStella · 07/09/2017 07:53

You're right, MyOtherProfile I'd put more weight on initiation by satnav than her comment following that.

I do still think she got cold feet, and then panicked when she feared a chain-saw massacre.

balsamicbarbara · 07/09/2017 08:48

That is a bit crazy but assuming you're a man remember that crazy can be good in certain contexts iykwim Wink

Original poster
FallingOrbit · 07/09/2017 08:52

I really wasn't expecting so many replies!
But to answer a few questions, she did pay for the work on the day so it wasn't a bill dodging thing. She didn't say or do anything to set alarm bells ringing before that, we didn't even talk about me all that much, mostly about her but that's probably because I do ask questions as I'm more interested in others than I am in me, I experience me every day so don't feel the need to blather on about my not very exciting life.

I think I'll give dating a miss for a while!

OP posts:
dollydaydream114 · 07/09/2017 09:45

She thought she was being lured for the purposes of murder.

Except she asked to see the house and she invited herself in. Nobody 'lured' anyone FFS.

And as PPs have said, nobody has an issue with her leaving. It's the fact that she did so after accusing the OP of endangering her daughter who wasn't there and never even met him, let alone been invited to his house.

SkintAsASkintThing · 07/09/2017 09:48

Tsk, you trimmed her bush and that's the thanks you get ?? !

On a more serious note, you had a lucky escape. She'd have had you lined up as a father figure within a week. If she gets in contact again ignore, ignore, ignore.

BaconAndBees · 07/09/2017 09:53

we didn't even talk about me all that much, mostly about her but that's probably because I do ask questions as I'm more interested in others than I am in me, I experience me every day so don't feel the need to blather on about my not very exciting life.

Blimey, you're not like the average male mumsnetter then hides

FizzyGreenWater · 07/09/2017 09:55

FallingOrbit Husqvarna t-shirts???!

aaaaahhhh I must get one for my DH. My favourite of his is HANKKIJA

his PPE is very dull though.

youhavetobekidding · 07/09/2017 10:00

Not having a go at OP at all, but I don't like a lot of the responses on this thread -

bonkers, nuts, crazy, insane, fruitloop - awful to see so much casual prejudice against mental health issues

Branleuse · 07/09/2017 10:13

She sounds completely bananas.

Original poster
FallingOrbit · 07/09/2017 10:18

Fizzy

Yes, they need ironing before anyone comments! Just out of the wash.

There's a company on ebay that does them, all branded Husqvarna on the front and whatever you want on the back. I have loads of them, with different text (some amusing) on the back. I'm not sponsored by or affiliated with Husqvarna, just love their saws, anyone can buy these t-shirts :)

Was she being unreasonable? (First date thing)
Was she being unreasonable? (First date thing)
Was she being unreasonable? (First date thing)
OP posts:
gingergenius · 07/09/2017 10:18

A tidy tree surgeon! You sound like dream date to me! Woman sounded a bit unhinged bless her. Luck escape by all accounts!

annielouise · 07/09/2017 10:22

I think she's looking for a relationship and had set her sights on you as a prospective future partner, step-dad to her kid, which was why she reacted like that. She jumped ahead too far too soon.

StrangeLookingParasite · 07/09/2017 11:11

She sounds quite silly.
On another note, I've learned something from the thread, that the business end of a chainsaw is called the bar! Every day a school day.

Original poster
FallingOrbit · 07/09/2017 11:30

Cutter bar or just bar. And the proper name for the "cover" is scabbard :)

OP posts:
Notevilstepmother · 07/09/2017 11:46

So you trimmed her bush and she screamed when she saw your tool..

(Sorry childish I know) Grin

Sounds like you had a lucky escape.

I can just imagine her feeling her friends all about it and how terrible it was, them being all sympathetic up to the point when they ask her how she met you, and then massive eye rolls.

MycatsaPirate · 07/09/2017 12:11

Oh please don't give up dating Op!

You can do a different date every week and give us an update on how normal/batshit they are.

Some of us don't get out much.

BaconAndBees · 07/09/2017 12:48

youhavetobekidding that's true. There was one solitary person upthread who said she sounds ill.

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