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Original poster

Was she being unreasonable? (First date thing)

236 replies

FallingOrbit · 06/09/2017 16:13

Afternoon peeps.

Went on a bit of a date last night with someone I met about a week ago. We met when I did a fairly large job for her (I'm a tree surgeon and she had a large leylandii she needed removing) - did the job, had a bit of a laugh with her on the day and her 4 year old daughter.

Anyway she had my mobile number and later that night she text me to say great job etc etc and we just ended up texting and the odd phone call for about a week after the job, eventually she got around to the "fancy a drink one night" kinda thing. I said sure why not.

So off we go on our "date"- we only went to a nice quiet pub I know for some food, I drove so she could have a drink (she only had 2 glasses of wine though) and we had a really nice time, lots of laughing and getting to know each other, seemed to be going well.

On the drive home (as in to take her home about 9pm) my GPS piped up with "Turn Left in 100 yards" because it thought I was going home and "home" appeared on the screen. She said "oh you live up there? Can I see your house?" I thought ok sure. So we head up my road, I point and say "that one there" - she said "So aren't you going to invite me in for coffee?" (yes, she did say exactly that)

So, sure thing. Into the house we go (and NO I wasn't taking coffee to mean anything other than coffee but it wouldn't matter anyway as you will soon see) - she FLIPPED HER LID. I had a chainsaw on the floor in the hallway and a very (very) large chainsaw on the floor in the kitchen. She wen't completely bonkers and started with "OMG what if my daughter was here she could cut her self"
"You shouldn't leave things like that lying around it's dangerous" and so on.

My response was "well your daughter isn't here, is she?! If she was they wouldn't be there"

She said "Take me home, I can't deal with this"

So I did. I made attempts to reason with her on the 20 min drive back to hers, no joy. She just got out and I haven't heard from her since.

I'm not bothered that I haven't heard from her, I just want to know what others make of this.

The only reason they were there is because I was running slightly late for our "date" because a job ran over a bit and instead of messing around unlocking the garage etc I just grabbed them from the trailer, dumped them where I dumped them and got straight in the shower so I could pick her up on time. It's not like I normally keep them there and I wasn't at all expecting us to end up at my place (for any reason)

Was she being unreasonable?

OP posts:
seedsofchange · 06/09/2017 20:12

As a wood owner and green woodworker I think you sound normal and actually fab! And yes we (DH and I ) often have chainsaws (his and hers, Stihl not Husky, sorry )around in the kitchen, when having a break for a cuppa, esp in winter!
She sounds ... troubled, tbh

RozDoyle · 06/09/2017 20:13

mycatsapirate GrinGrin

ZeroFuchsGiven · 06/09/2017 20:28

I best she left singing in her head 'I Stihl haven't found what I'm looking for'. Grin

SaucyJack · 06/09/2017 20:29

"I have to say I don't think tools like that belong in the house, I'd be a bit put off. Sure that's what the garage or work van is for?"

Bless you! Where do you live, Pontypandy!?

It's not even that rough round here, but you may as well leave work tools in a pile on the lawn with a sign saying "Help Yourself" rather than leave them in a marked work van. Would at least save you the cost of replacing the side window
as well as the tools once you were robbed.

silkybear · 06/09/2017 20:47

Ha! Zerofuchs Grin

Goshthatwentwell · 06/09/2017 21:21

SaucyJack et el. We are thinking from the possible perspecitives of. the date not wether the Op is in the right to leave them out.

Why are people saying RTFT; date didn't know the OP was in a rush or whatever. She might be a proper neat freak and not like the idea of machinery in the house.

MyOtherProfile · 06/09/2017 21:34

I best she left singing in her head 'I Stihl haven't found what I'm looking for'.
Grin Grin Grin

TheNaze73 · 06/09/2017 21:36

Mentalist.

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 06/09/2017 21:49

"You shouldn't leave things like that lying around it's dangerous"

I would have thought that lying on the floor, off, most probably with blade guard on, is about the safest place for a chain saw to be.
They're only REALLY DANGEROUS when they're on and running, no guard, up a tree handled by a bloke suspended in a harness 40 foot above the ground.
Oh.
Wait....

Liara · 06/09/2017 21:51

Off on a slight tangent, but why would her dd hurt herself on a chainsaw that's just there?

I mean she could, of course, if she tried , but she could also hurt herself on a knife and presumably you have some of those too?

The chainsaw wasn't on, was it?

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 06/09/2017 21:51

It's not even that rough round here, but you may as well leave work tools in a pile on the lawn with a sign saying "Help Yourself" rather than leave them in a marked work van. Would at least save you the cost of replacing the side window as well as the tools once you were robbed

My favourite sign seen on back of a work van-
"No tools or chocolate left in van overnight*

Liara · 06/09/2017 21:52

x post with breakfast!

JWrecks · 06/09/2017 21:54

That seems a shame, OP.

It shouldn't matter the reason they were in the house. It shouldn't matter if you regularly store them indoors for some reason, IMO. Those are the tools of your trade, of which she was clearly already aware. It's your house, and it's not as if there were any children (or anyone else at all) there to be endangered by your tools. I can't really rationalise freaking out about that, myself, particularly not after a perfectly rational explanation.

It actually sounds to me as though she may have been getting quite attached to you already and envisioning her daughter running round your house. I can't think of any other reason she'd lose her mind - and even that is pushing it. She was the one who asked to go to your home, not the other way round.

Shame she lost her mind as you were having a nice time, but good that she lost it before you got more involved!

PollyFlint · 06/09/2017 22:01

Why are people saying RTFT; date didn't know the OP was in a rush or whatever. She might be a proper neat freak and not like the idea of machinery in the house.

It doesn't matter what the date did or didn't know about the tools or how neat she likes things. Her reaction was ridiculous regardless of that, and also fucking rude, given that she actually demanded to be taken to his house and invited in when he hadn't asked her.

It is fine if she doesn't like tools in the house - the point is that she expressed that dislike in a mad hysterical way that was batshit barking mental. If you go into your date's house for the first time and you think 'Oh, this is isn't naice enough for me, it's not neat enough, he has nasty tools indoors' you don't express that by yelling about the fact that your child - who isn't there and never has been - 'could cut herself' and then gibber on about 'not being able to deal with it'. That is not remotely normal behaviour at all.

I once went to a date's house and he had two horrendously naff 70s-style posters on his living room wall of topless women on motorbikes, and I instantly knew we wasn't for me. However, simply I drank my drink and said 'Well, must be going then, thanks for a nice evening' and called myself a cab. I didn't suddenly say 'WHAT IF THERE WERE CHILDREN HERE WHO SAW THIS??' like some total freak.

HappyAxolotl · 06/09/2017 22:32

She's out of her tree. Chest-nuts. 3 stops past Bark-ing.

You must be feeling a bit saw but you should Stihl your nerves and log it as an experience.

ChilliMary · 06/09/2017 22:37

That's sounds mad, she sounds a bit mad

Original poster
FallingOrbit · 06/09/2017 22:39

PollyFlint

If there was a "like" button I'd be hitting it. Thank you. And to all the other posters who can see where I was coming from.

OP posts:
Insomnibrat · 06/09/2017 22:48

Two things;

1, I can't be the only one here who would find it really sexy to see a proper workman's tools lying around like this, surely?

B, Posch Leibnitz sounds like an expensive biscuit.

HotNatured · 06/09/2017 23:08

She walks into a house in the evening with a man she barely knows, and there are chainsaws lying about.

Face palm

She asked to go inside the TREE SURGEON'S house.

What tools do tree surgeon's use?

Empathy has nothing to do with this. Some common sense would be great though Hmm

HotNatured · 06/09/2017 23:09

*surgeons

Damn rogue apostrophe

Ohyesiam · 06/09/2017 23:17

Sorry if this had already been asked, but were there any other indicating of her being, er, over sensitive during the evening?

Willow2017 · 06/09/2017 23:20

It doesnt matter if she was a 'neat freak' or not.

Its not her house.

Its none of her business where he keeps his tools in his own house.
Her daughter wasnt there.
She invited herself to his house, it was her first visit and she reacted like a loon. Why the hell would she presume her daughter would soon be visiting when on a first date?

And nobody who can possibly leave their tools elsewhere will leave them in a van overnight. We live in a nice enough area and someone who lives not far from me got £1k worth of tools stolen out his van. Hard lesson to learn.

LaughingElliot · 06/09/2017 23:28

This is such a fun thread.

Please keep us posted about any more dates.

DanHumphreyIsA · 06/09/2017 23:37

I'd get if she was a bit freaked, tbh I've not seen anyone with a chainsaw for a long time. Its the fact that she went mad because her dd could have hurt herself, what a bizarre reaction.

JustKeepStumbling · 06/09/2017 23:38

Just wondering (and apologies if this has already been discussed) but has she paid you for the work you did? If not this could be an elaborate plan to get out of paying for your efforts and embarrass you out of contacting her for payment?

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